To wonder why MN has turned into such a bitch fest recently.

[Lucy88]

I have been coming on MN on and off for about 2 years and have always found it to be very useful for reading others advice and asking others for advice, reading reviews and getting holiday advice. There will always be times when people will disagree or not like other peoples advice, but I have been truly shocked recently at some of the posts I have read.

I am quite an outspoken person (in real life), but do try to adhere to the mantra of 'Don't put anything online that you would not be prepared to say to anyones face' but OMG even I have been surprised at the amount of bitchy, nasty responses some people have received on here recently.

I know that it is difficult when communicating just through the written word, as there is no body language or intonation to always give the correct message, but some posters really do think it is ok to be really nasty and make personal comments. Name calling seems to be the 'in thing' at the moment and I have to admit, that I just don't get it - not from grown women.

The majority of people who make these types of comments, probably wouldn't dare to say these things to people's faces, but think it is perfectly ok to do it online.

Can we at least have a week where we think about what we post and if we can't post anything constructive and polite, then perhaps don't post at all.

Flashsale - agreed but there's nothing that can be done really.

It's sooooo yawnsome when you tell one of dull show offs they are being a tit to be told you are frothing and have no sense of humour.

I a rest from Mumsnet for a couple of months when I realise it's irritating me more than entertaining me.

Yes I saw that everlong! Hilarious. There have been a few of those comments recently.

Some posters, quite literally, need to get a life.

It would just be nice to be able to use the site unhindered by the gang of idiots.

Especially when you've been here since the year dot and have got a lot out of it in the past.

So time in service on an internet forum = a more justified opinion, wtf?

I've been on this forum longer than you have sweetheart "

I never know why length of time makes your point more valid.

I have had 'me and my friends are discussing' as in 'go away'!

'I've been on here longer than you' is a really dumb fuck thing to say.

I don't kniw who has been on here for how long unless it is a name I recognise because they don't name change.

I understand the reason for it but I do wish name changing can be banned. It just means people feel anonymous and don't have to stand by the things they said last week, last month.

It would also stop posters like me who never name change from being so visible. Because the endless fucking sneering about bullies and regulars and royalty and shite is getting me down.
I never rock up to mn to be mean to anyone. I am not facebook. I don't bitch about anyone by pm or Twitter. Many of those posting about 'big girls' are more unpleasant than I have ever been on here.

I also think moer people are "being offended" of late.

I think that adding sweetheart is the real put down.

But, without wishing to be whiney myself Everlong, I am not well loved on here. I am quite sure I am just as loathed as I am liked. And I am familiar because I am on here a lot and have been for years.
So my name has a sort of persona which is pretty far from reality. I am like 'fruit shoots' or 'fanjo' - a mn reference that has morphed into something else, a shorthand for a long standing, prolific regular. People mention me because I have been mentioned before iyswim. And because it probably feels accepted and safe.

And I get way more shit for the mn royalty thing than I ever get positively from it. I can post on a contentious thread and know no other posters on it but those on the other side will always respond with 'ganging up' and 'cliquy bullies'.

It is just another form of sneering. Like the 'newbies - how long have you been here sweetheart' rubbish. Or the 'actually, I can't read your awful spelling' sneering.
It's exactly the same. And it is just posters trying to put everyone else in a group so they can chose to feel like peers or chose to dislike them.

And that is what is getting worse. People are choosing clans, including the 'no one likes me because I fucking tell it like it is, take no prisoners' clan

It would really improve things if posters were prepared to stand alone, express their own opinions and not be in clans.

But then there is the question as to whether a poster standing alone can survive.

It would. But I think if you are posting, and a random bunch of 10 posters all disagree with you, it will feel like can whether it is or not.
Often it isn't. The clan thing is mostly a damaging perception rather than a reality. Like the way a bunch of new and odd threads always leads to 'are we being invaded?' posts.
We probably aren't. A bunch of new threads may be co incidence. But it doesn't seem like that.

Do you see what I mean? I am probably incoherent. It's early.

I think that calling anyone 'royalty' is a nonsense-half the time I haven't heard of these people! It must be self imposed. To my mind everyone is equal and someone who is making their first post is just as valid as someone who has been posting for years.

I've had my head bitten off a few times on here and actually gave it up for a while after a roasting I got for a flippant comment about Prince Philip or some such thing. It can be quite daunting if you don't post often then you 'offend' someone who is clearly a member of some clique or other and it becomes a bit of a tirade out of nowhere.
I just don't post too often and steer clear of topics that have obvious explosive potential unless it really means something to me

It will feel like 'a clan' not can

It isn't self imposed. Unless you seriously think I said one day 'god, I think I am royalty now'.
Which would be a bloody weird thing to desire or aspire to, let alone actively seek out. It is nonsense. It is a joke which you either laugh at and look daft or ignore and look daft or encourage and look daft. So lots of options.

The piling on on threads is responsible for a lot. If twenty people have said 'i think you are being unreasonable' I never understand why someone then feels they have to add 'yabu and a total cow'. What is the point of that?

Exoticfruits, you are stating the obvious; only it isn't obvious to everyone.

I generally avoid AIBU because it turns into a bitchfest, and I'm here for the laffs and support.

There are posters I admire or enjoy - my own private Royalty list if you like - but that doesn't mean I'm going to defend them if they are being indefensible.

I'm not particularly outspoken in life, just as I'm not on here, it's not me and I'm not ever going to kick someone just because they are down.

It felt a bit like it does right now this time last year. I may even spend some days in RL but ultimately I'm quite isolated and you lot are my friends (for better or worse) and I do worry that all the nice ones are just going to fuck off.

I think people are more jealous and nastier, you onlt have to look at the anti sn stuff to see that.
then when the op or poster posting the vile stuff gets flamed they play the victim and say they have been ganged up on.
if you are going to post vile stuff, you have ot accept you (hopefully) will get flamed.

"that doesn't mean I'm going to defend them if they are being indefensible."

It would help if that approach were more common.

Thinking for yourself.

Absoloutely.

I respond to the post. I don't change my position depending on who the poster is.