To wonder why MN has turned into such a bitch fest recently.

[Lucy88]

I have been coming on MN on and off for about 2 years and have always found it to be very useful for reading others advice and asking others for advice, reading reviews and getting holiday advice. There will always be times when people will disagree or not like other peoples advice, but I have been truly shocked recently at some of the posts I have read.

I am quite an outspoken person (in real life), but do try to adhere to the mantra of 'Don't put anything online that you would not be prepared to say to anyones face' but OMG even I have been surprised at the amount of bitchy, nasty responses some people have received on here recently.

I know that it is difficult when communicating just through the written word, as there is no body language or intonation to always give the correct message, but some posters really do think it is ok to be really nasty and make personal comments. Name calling seems to be the 'in thing' at the moment and I have to admit, that I just don't get it - not from grown women.

The majority of people who make these types of comments, probably wouldn't dare to say these things to people's faces, but think it is perfectly ok to do it online.

Can we at least have a week where we think about what we post and if we can't post anything constructive and polite, then perhaps don't post at all.

TSC no that's totally normal for any forum but I'm talking about the deliberate derailing.

I'm racking my brains to think of the one the other week where it was so obvious...pages and pages of shite about a TV programme but they eventually gave up when they realised it didn't work and it went back on topic.

If they wanted to chat about TV, they could easily have started another thread but this was very deliberate.

Totally different to your average thread wandering off topic due to chat moving on.

Yes, it is deliberate.

I would suggest that derailing is a feature of the Internet generally, especially lightly or unmoderated sites. I looked at 4chan once- I couldn't even follow it. If you really can't bear it, there are lots of more structured forums.

but there the rub deliberate derail isnt universally agreed
and on feminism board for long time it was the tool,of choice for deflecting a pov Not liked

don't need mnhq to dive in
threads run,digression occur
I exit the crawlybumlickey mnoscars andoh soandso is sooooo funny. they are dull

Well that's is isn't it?

It's just all part of posting on internet forums and to be honest, I'd always opt for a lightly moderated site than an over moderated site.

People post the way they post and one person's favourite poster is another person's Nemesis.

All part of diversity really and much better than a twee love-in where everyone thinks and posts the same.

ime,the ones who want mnhq intervention are most likely to squawk derail

indeed v good point
yes as much as can digress
can also stick to topic

I think sometimes, though, posters just lack a sense of humour or perspective. Making a joke/running with that joke for a while may derail a thread but it's not usually a deliberate attempt to derail from the OP.

And re the 'incomprehensible jokes to newbies' - I'm sorry but you need to get over yourself. If you're new anywhere things will not automatically be clear to you immediately. It is the nature of life!

You won't be a newbie for long, and before you know it you will be making your own jokes/taking part in 'in' jokes.

I would never deliberately derail a thread and the idea of calling up mates to do so is ludicrous. But yes, I piss about on threads. I won't ignore and op and I wouldn't trample a discussion but discussions move on.
It is a discussion board not a debating society.
And the personalities, nonsense, shared experience is part of coming to mumsnet instead of maybe aol talk or Jamie Olivers chat board or Carp owners meeting hut.

If people just want to debar an issue they can post anywhere on the internet. If you post on mumsnet you are going to get a certain collective response which will include everything from the annoying to informative to funny to endlessly negative to the shite.
We all have to put up with that. One man's meat and all that.
None of us clearly hate it enough to go somewhere else.

I was just in middle of typing it's a chat site and not an educational establishment!!

Sick of all the nasty sniping about "regs"...will undoubtedly get accused of bullying for saying so, but really, it comes across as bitterness and a touch of control freakery to me.

and it's my birthday so I am going to go away before I get flamed (again)

everlong..well, maybe not you, but some people are very quick to cry bullying if you are a "reg"...

Happy Birthday Fanjo

and why are "regular" posters fair game for all sorts of criticism of what they do, how they joke etc.

Haven't seen anyone who gets called "Royalty" starting threads merely to snipe at and campaign about the behaviour of "new" posters.

thanks Lesley!

I am being a bit serious here but that's because I have turned 40 and am now sensible and school-teacher ish.

Thats okay Fanjo.

Seriously some mns do seem to think its fine to be quite nasty to regular posters. I saw a comment recently where one mns said they had assumed regular posters were more robust and could take it. This was on a thread about being flamed. And actually lots of regular posters said they were really upset about being flamed.

thanks everlong

Lesley you are right..

For example..I might have had a rough day running about after DD who is frankly a handful and come on and see that some posters, who I find funny, are having a joke so I join in..then later read all this about derailing like it's some deliberate campaign to divert attention from the poor beleaguered new OP..