To wonder why MN has turned into such a bitch fest recently.

[Lucy88]

I have been coming on MN on and off for about 2 years and have always found it to be very useful for reading others advice and asking others for advice, reading reviews and getting holiday advice. There will always be times when people will disagree or not like other peoples advice, but I have been truly shocked recently at some of the posts I have read.

I am quite an outspoken person (in real life), but do try to adhere to the mantra of 'Don't put anything online that you would not be prepared to say to anyones face' but OMG even I have been surprised at the amount of bitchy, nasty responses some people have received on here recently.

I know that it is difficult when communicating just through the written word, as there is no body language or intonation to always give the correct message, but some posters really do think it is ok to be really nasty and make personal comments. Name calling seems to be the 'in thing' at the moment and I have to admit, that I just don't get it - not from grown women.

The majority of people who make these types of comments, probably wouldn't dare to say these things to people's faces, but think it is perfectly ok to do it online.

Can we at least have a week where we think about what we post and if we can't post anything constructive and polite, then perhaps don't post at all.

No, you're being too compassionate. Bullies bully because they can, and because they get off on the power trip. See DV.

I have had unsolicited PMs telling me nasty stuff because I was supporting a poster with an "unpopular" viewpoint.

Surely the stuff about spreadsheets is just a joke though? Have never seen this be referred to maliciously or accusingly.

I think that comparing posters on an internet forum expressing irritation with somebody with intimate partner violence is a bit crass, to be honest. It's a completely different dynamic.

Hear hear

Spreadsheets is a big joke, that's fine. Don't worry about that

TSC - I'm not 'repeating' something, especially not a myth, I'm describing something that's happened at various times.

I've no wish to promote a myth of any sort.
I just felt moved to post my own perception of part of the dynamic. Mostly MN is a pretty good place I think, just to balance that.

Oh, and I wasn't aware of your falling out with someone, TSC, I've been off here for a while and missed quite a lot. So not by any means referring to you or anything you might have posted/been involved in. Just in case you thought.

PMs are terribly complicated aren't they

It adds a whole new dimension of horror to those of us lacking somewhat in diplomatic talent.

All too long ago for that TSC... but tbh I never thought of reporting a PM, or 'CAT' message come to that.

I agree with Betty @ 21:09:34 and have witnessed that myself.

I expect there are little FB groups or PMs where these things are born from.

It's the same as when a thread of a certain subject is started here, and a group of posters all turn up at once with the same unchangeable opinion.

I wonder if there's a call to arms somewhere

See posts like that just make everyone paranoid and do more harm to the site than anything else imo.

I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention.

op you take a week not uttering edicts about how others should post
opining about how mn gorn to dogs
frankly all this is clichetastic....and folks have Been bumping gums that mn gorn to dogs for longer than 2yrs

actually mn is better than it was in the bad ole days of
search archives
we done that already
...and sycophancy to the self proclaimed names
mn now is bigger,more folk and IMO that's good,and vibrant.less moribund than the i'll get the popcorn crew

I don't think it's as sinister as that. I have MN customised to show in Active Convos both who has started a thread, and who the last poster is. If I see a name like, say, ShirleyKnot or SuePurbleybilt, both of whom I know to be funny and engaging posters (you'll have your own, that's an example) pop up in either column, I tend to click on it to see what's going on. Likewise if GetOrf has started a thread, I know there's some fun to be had. If its a controversial thread and I spot from Active a poster I either respect or clash with, again, I'm likely to click out of nosiness. I suppose the same applies to my 'eye roll' posters- if I see they have started a thread, I'll either hide it or have a peek against my better judgement and find myself unable to sit on my hands.

That is the usual way of things for most people, I imagine, rather than responding to a call to arms.

I do think that's how some of these thing start though usualsuspect and it was quite noticable when we had the 'share' button for FB, because certain threads would get a fair few shares...even though the 'general public' wouldn't necessarily be interested in them because they were about posters here.

All the rumours of fb hategroups etc just cause more and more shit on the site.

Fucking hell LeBof I didn't know MN was so modern

I'm a technophobe so tend not to click anything much.

But US that's a bit like saying don't talk about the trolls, it damages MN.

Even though the trolls are the ones causing the actual damage.

'FB hategroups' sounds like purposeful organisations with the deliberate aim of attacking someone...I was implying something far, far more casual and less planned.

I did have poster do a shout out to her pal wish whatsherface was here when we were having a ding dong
the pal duly piled in 15min later
was v v funny

online equivalent of ned mate turning up at school gate
priceless

Get yourself fandangled up, Worral!

I've got it set to show who started a thread as well. You have to try it Worra, its a revelation.