To say no?

[Mama1980]

Hi new here just wanting to see if I'm overreacting here :) my brother is getting married in July I have been asked to be chief bridesmaid. Thing is I have scars everywhere I was in a car crash at 27 weeks pregnant my ds thank goodness is fine :) she has chosen long strapless dresses which would expose the scar along my sternum, shoulder blade and neck where I had a central line in plus one on my cheek. She has asked me if I would conceal them for the wedding photos with make up. Now I love my scars they are who I am a reminder of what my body survived, that it protected my baby when drs thought it was hopeless I wear a bikini, children come up and ask me if I was attacked by a shark lol! I never conceal them am I unreasonable to be hurt by this request?

Well in that case leave out the bit about your brothers imperfections and go for the kill on hers

Even better get yourself down to tkmaxx and find the most hideous catsuit all in one lycra combination , sew some extra bling /feathers etc on and tell her you will wear that to the wedding , i'm thinking turquoise blue ,shimmery , Contrasting flames up the front picked out in sequins and ostrich feather detailing to the arms legs and neck line

frumpet

I am going to ignore the silly arguing on this thread and focus on the brave mum asking the question!
Mama1980 You are not being unreasonable.
I think the bride is a nightmare, I guess she is very jealous that you have scars and when people ask why and you tell the story they will be amazed by you and what you and your baby survived also all the pre-wedding beauty treatments, a posh wedding dress and shoes and anything else she tries, she will still be ugly, in the true sense of the word
Beautiful is being confident like you are after what happened to you.

Frumpet - she's not Nancy Del'ol....No maybe not get into trouble!

If she doesn't want OP as a bridesmaid, scars and all, I suggest OP gets a nice strappy dress anyway. DSis2b can't object to her being in the photos - she's family!

Or do what frumpet says!

everlong - may I be so bold as to suggest you meant the DB didn't want OP to feel 'self concsious' rather than 'embarassed'?

Can we bury the Everlong distraction now? I think it has rather been done to death now, Rhino buried the hatchet at 12:34. I think OP might like her thread back now. :)

Everlong - maybe HE feels embarrassed about his SISTER'S scars???? So she should cover them up? Jesus wept.
OP, I have a skin condition that can be embarrassing, but I wear short sleeved tops and bikinis in summer as a point of principle. I am not being excluded from wearing what I want or what everyone else wears because of my skin, and if that offends anyone, fuck them. I am appalled at your SIL. Absolutely appalled.

Sorry. Only just joined the thread GinPalace, I'll leave it now, just a little bit in shock that anyone can be so ridiculous.

Don't leave on my account - was just saying it has been resolved (the everlong upset) as I know people don't have time to read whole thread and it saves going round in circles. just saying in the nicest possible way.

Your opinion is as valid as anyone elses. :)

Why is everyone attacking everlong? She is not the SIL and she has explained, more than once, what she meant. Not that she owes anyone else here an explanation when the OP hasn't asked her for one.

Everlong was one of the first people to offer me support when I asked for it in the bereavement section and is one of the most consistently kind and unaggressive posters on here. I can't imagine her saying anything as deliberately hurtful as the OP's SIL-to-be has said, or condoning it. She's not the only one who thought they might have made a kack-handed attempt at telling the OP she could cover up if she herself was embarrassed and wanted to, or the only one that started reading the thread thinking it probably was the OP who was worried about wearing a revealing dress.

It's great that the OP is so confident in herself and sad that the SIL seems to be focusing on hiding her scars for the sake of the photo's. What a terrible way to become part of a family, by causing hurt feelings for no good reason. But it's not Everlong's fault she has done so, the OP seemed to understand her point because she hasn't asked her to clarify it, and nobody else on here has the right to bully her repeatedly for an explanation when she has already given several.

It's very difficult to explain what you mean when several people are all jumping on you at once and picking apart everything you say.

YANBU they are a part of you and should be displayed proudly, i would get more than a little angry if someone asked me to cover my scars.

You sound an amazing woman OP