To say no?

[Mama1980]

Hi new here just wanting to see if I'm overreacting here :) my brother is getting married in July I have been asked to be chief bridesmaid. Thing is I have scars everywhere I was in a car crash at 27 weeks pregnant my ds thank goodness is fine :) she has chosen long strapless dresses which would expose the scar along my sternum, shoulder blade and neck where I had a central line in plus one on my cheek. She has asked me if I would conceal them for the wedding photos with make up. Now I love my scars they are who I am a reminder of what my body survived, that it protected my baby when drs thought it was hopeless I wear a bikini, children come up and ask me if I was attacked by a shark lol! I never conceal them am I unreasonable to be hurt by this request?

I've never been called a bully before in my whole life. I'm quite the opposite, actually. But you can think what you like, obviously.

I understand now, I think what you meant. And it makes sense now, thank you. Maybe I'm just a bit thick. :) yes, I was alarmed by that comment at first because what I thought you were implying was quite :(

I am genuinely sorry, Everlong :(. I really interpreted that (and the explanation) wrong. I didn't mean to upset you.

I was really upset that anyone would think that she should be embarrassed by her scars. I am sorry, again, for getting so upset about it and misinterpreting.

I so wish I had your confidence. I wore a shawl to cover up the fact that I was overweight for my sister's wedding. I wonder if your brother knows that she has asked you to cover your scars up. Being slightly controversial for a minute, is there anyway that you could have misinterpretted what she was saying? Could she have been offering you a way of hiding the scars if YOU weren't comfortable with showing them. If not, then I would make your feelings very plain. Be yourself and if they don't like it then Tough!

Hi once again thanks do much for everyone's opinions unfortunately I had not misunderstood we talked yesterday and she still wanted me to cover them up for the photos. I Explained everything to her gently and said that I would not be covering them And I was prepared not to be in the wedding party if it was that important to her. And that I know she wants everything to be perfect but that her request is not ok. It wasn't a very comfortable conversation but now it's up to her. My brother did not know and he was pretty mad at her. I'm a bit perplexed to be honest I don't understand what difference do my scars make? Genuinely a bit hurt tbh. I always think of what the dr told me when I first woke up after the accident- he told me the scars were bad that I would be shocked but that I should be grateful my body did what it had been designed to do it protected my baby at any cost-he was right and I am very grateful to every one of those scars.

OF COURSE YOU ARE NOT BU

Tell her NO.

That is soo rude.

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST VILE

Your scars are part of YOU. It is YOU she is asking

the cunt

Mama1980 you are awesome and thank goodness you have your head screwed on well enough to be able to rise above the shallow old bag.

I had an eye injury as a child and I'm fairly sure that's why she didn't ask me to be one of her many skinny model bridesmaids when she got married.

Doh, didn't make that clear - my sister didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid. And she had at least 4.

Yanbu!

Is it an attention thing? What I mean is, does your future sil think that if your scars are not covered people will be more interested in you than her?
It's the only reason I can think of for her being such an utter twat.

but everlong why did you say you agreed with the DB?

yep, read the thread. you said you were guessing that the DB would be embarassed about the scars, and in your first post you said that you agreed with him.

and what you agree that he should be embarassed and was right to ask her to cover her scars? if not that what were you agreeing with him about?

YANBU - your scars and part of you and what a fab attitude you have! :)

are part of you that should say!

is that to me everlong? no, as much of a surprise as this might be to you, you haven't left that much of an impression with me that i want to relive the everlong experience thread after thread. you posted on this thread a comment that many others questioned. your 'explanation' of that comment did not, for me, clarify what you meant. i asked for clarification. you may feel unable to give that clarification, that's fine, that's your issue but dont blame me for you not being able to back up your own comments. dragging stuff from other threads is immature and unnecessary. i was perfectly civil on the other thread. if you want to show me otherwise then PM me with quotes.