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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think "no actually, the stress of stopping smoking won't be worse for your unborn baby than you smoking"

297 replies

UphillBothWays · 04/03/2012 17:35

I'm fed up with hearing this as an excuse for continuing to smoke in pregnancy! I've heard people say this in real life, on TV, and now Stacey Solomon is claiming her doctor OK'd her smoking too.

Yes, quitting smoking is hard, but don't claim it's better for your baby to be exposed to carbon monoxide, cyanide and nicotine fgs.

I would have a lot more sympathy if they said "I know it's awful and I'm trying my hardest to stop but I'm struggling and have slipped up"

OP posts:
OhdearNigel · 05/03/2012 12:19

I thought it was absolutely bizarre that she has given up prawns, which are perfectly safe during pregnancy, but carries on smoking which definitely is not. It's a good job she's got a good voice to rely on rather than her brain

EirikurNoromaour · 05/03/2012 12:20

each time was told by my midwife that I would be doing more harm by giving up

Then your midwife was a fucking idiot and a liar.

YonWhaleFish · 05/03/2012 12:30

Hang on..smoking only affects you psychologically as you quit?

so your psyche has no effects on your physical health? The two are separate?

There are a lot of tales in this thread stating "If I did it it's not hard and everyone can do it."

Are we not all individuals? With individual response and reactions to situations?

Jackstini · 05/03/2012 12:38

YANBU - although my Mum was told this - 40 years ago

EirikurNoromaour · 05/03/2012 13:01

Sigh...

No that's not what I am saying. What I am saying is that withdrawing from nicotine does not place stress on the body. Someone who is addicted to alcohol, or heroin, or amyltryptiline, or codeine, etc etc will have physical effects when they withdraw, which vary in severity, some can be extremely dangerous and likely to affect a foetus if the woman was pregnant. However, nicotine is an extremely mild drug. It is addictive but the physical addiction is easily broken (between 2 and 7 days) and the process of withdrawing does not cause unpleasant or dangerous physical symptoms.

Mentally, is a very different story. And as I said, there can be physical effects from the act of stopping smoking (a bad cough is the most common) but this is not the same as a withdrawal symptom.

Peddling the myth that stopping smoking puts stress on your body in any way whatsoever, let alone in a way that would cause harm to a foetus, is irresponsible and extremely wrong. Apparently there are lots of HCPs who do it, as I have learnt from this thread, but that doesn't stop it from being bullshit.

ArielNonBio · 05/03/2012 13:12

We ALL make judgements every single minute of the day and all this pious stuff about "who are you to make judgements" really gets on my pip. We are allowed to make judgements, it's what you decide to do with them that matters.

Sums up exactly how I feel about the whole "How dare you judge others!" cries. Surely people are judged on how they behave and what they say. And the ability to form judgements is part of what makes us human beings.

Moominsarescary · 05/03/2012 13:16

Well ss has said that she hasn't given any comment to the newspapers about it, and hcps have told her it is better for the baby if she quits

Surprise surprise

Pornyissue · 05/03/2012 13:37

So lying tells us all off for judging other people then goes onto say:

"This thread is a real eye-opener and I wonder at the quality of parent who has seemingly nothing to offer than judging and tutting. I guess I feel sorry for those children too."

Ahh a bit of the old judging and condemning the judges. The irony.

sunshineandbooks · 05/03/2012 13:51

But mental stress can have a profound effect on the body, so even though the addiction may be far more psychological in nature than it is physical, it can still produce strong physiological symptoms.

How much stress you feel under will depend enormously on the individual and their life in general. One person's highly stressful situation is another's invigorating challenge.

I gave up without a hiccup. My friend still hasn't succeeded. Fortunately she is still my friend because I haven't fallen into the trap of thinking she is a weak less-worthy person and instead I have accepted that it is very different for her because she is a different person to me.

KittyAnne · 05/03/2012 14:14

Every fucking thread that mentions smoking on here attracts the wrath of devoted smokers who leap in blindly to defend what is an indefensible and disgusting addiction. I used to smoke 20 a day. I know how powerful the addition can be and how shite it is to quit. But it's not that bloody hard.

In this case, the OP was talking about the utter bollocks that Stacy Thickfuckerwhatsername spouted about doctors advising her not to stop. I think we all fucking know that no doctor in this country would give such advice.

Here's the thing. It doesn't matter how many cigarettes this equine faced imbecile smokes. But the child has no choice and is likely to suffer medical problems as a result of her actions. Possibly for the rest of their life. The child is also more likely to die from SIDS as a direct result of maternal smoking.

Fuck stress, fuck addiction. It's completely indefensible.

YonWhaleFish · 05/03/2012 14:15

*But mental stress can have a profound effect on the body, so even though the addiction may be far more psychological in nature than it is physical, it can still produce strong physiological symptoms.

How much stress you feel under will depend enormously on the individual and their life in general. One person's highly stressful situation is another's invigorating challenge.*

Exactly Sunshine. Erikur What I am getting from you is that you think psychological problems have no physical effect, which is bullshit. I do understand what you mean when you say that the addiction to nicotine itself is mild in a physical sense, but you yourself have said that a great deal of the addiction to cigarettes is mental.

What Sunshine says makes sense, mental stress can have an effect on the body, and everyone's situation is different (as in what you find easy might be a mountain to someone else). So this Peddling the myth that stopping smoking puts stress on your body in any way whatsoever isn't accurate.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/03/2012 14:15

Just ridiculous... glass houses and stones spring to mind. Judge all you want, you're impotent to do anything of use in this debate because women DO know that they shouldn't be smoking in pregnancy but you'll probably cause a lot of bad feeling.

Pornyissue grow up, do. Nobody is telling you off.

mrswoz · 05/03/2012 14:16

Can't believe some of the absolute bollocks I've read in this thread!? Sadly tho it is not the first time i have heard any of it - this so called advice has been about for a number of years, but that doesn't make it true! Brief history - I am 10 weeks pg following a mmc in October, and have had NO problems whatsoever since cold turkey quitting 6 weeks ago, following a postive test. On the evening of the day that I discovered I was pregnant, I took a phone call from my father, who told me he had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The survival rate for this is shit, some of you will know, and he has been a smoker since before I was born. How easy would it have been then for me to crack and buy some smokes, and give in after just 20 hours of being quit? You know what stopped me? The realisation that I NEVER want to have that same cancer conversation with my own children. I'm done with smoking. No amount of fags will relieve the stress of the next few months - that's real stress, not knowing if your father will make it to see your unborn baby, or if you will be able to be there for him as much as you would like, what if he deteriorates while I am about to give birth etc...none of this crap about the 'stress' of stopping smoking - get real! Yes quitting can cause unpleasant physical symptoms but they are not dangerous - light headedness and constipation to name just a couple. Although, the amount of shite some people are spouting on this subject, you'd think constipation would bring them welcome relief! Grin

YonWhaleFish · 05/03/2012 14:22

mrswoz why didn't you quit when TTC?

I am not defending smoking during pregnancy, but I do think there can be levels of stress involved in quitting for certain people, so in those instances doctors may advise a reduction --> stop.

Well done to those of you who have gone "cold turkey" and managed it.

Pornyissue · 05/03/2012 14:22

Damn right no one is telling me personally off

it's just you kudging everyone else off for judging, telling them you feel sorry for their kids, which I found.... Odd .Luckily no one actually seems to agree with your views anyway so hey oh,and thank goodness

Bellstar · 05/03/2012 14:22

Well done on quitting mrswoz-I am sorry about your dad-wshing you all the best.

There will always be posters who try and justify the unjustifiable.

I for one would have far more respect for those who were honest and came on and said yes I know smoking is selfish and horrible but I am really struggling to give up-not all this oh well I only smoked 5 a day shit or I NEVER smoke in front of my kids bollocks-do smokers not smell themselves?

YonWhaleFish · 05/03/2012 14:26

do smokers not smell themselves?

I doubt it Bellstar as it affects your sense of smell. It's like anything too - if you're immersed in it all the time you don't notice it.

You might smell of fish at home, because you've had a lovely fish supper for tea, and not notice at all until you go somewhere fresh and fish free.

Al0uise · 05/03/2012 14:34

Smokers absolutely reek! After a weekend away with smoking friends who didn't smoke in the hotel room my clothes all stank of fags. Luckily they've since both seen the light. One with the aid of Champix and one on willpower alone.

musicismylife · 05/03/2012 14:37

Do you think perhaps the doctor meant it might be more dangerous to the pg woman's well-being, therefore the baby's?

Moominsarescary · 05/03/2012 14:50

I'll say again, she's been on loose women stating she hasn't spoke to any journalist about it, and that her doctor has told her quitting is better for the baby.

I've worked in mental health, in some cases it's far more important to insure stable mh of the mother.

Anyway hcp are there to give advice not judge or make someone feel bad for their choices

musicismylife · 05/03/2012 14:54

Well put, moomins.

EirikurNoromaour · 05/03/2012 14:55

it might be more dangerous to the pg woman's well-being

How, though? How could it endanger the woman's wellbeing, in any way that could affect the baby?

Pornyissue · 05/03/2012 14:57

Would quitting smoking severely effect someones mh though? So badly it is advisable to keep smoking?

I quit easily when I found out was pregant.

I think the guilt of carrying on smoking, especially if something had gone wrong, would have caused far more mh issues IMO

musicismylife · 05/03/2012 15:03

How many of you have had an abortion?

and how many of you are judging a person on what she does when she gets pregnant.

Anyone get the connection. yes, it is probably difficult to give up smoking when pregnant (I haven't smoked so wouldn't do) but how many of you are giving up a life because you are skint/not right time/blah blah blah.

Yes, they are two separate subjects but there is a link!!!!!!

YonWhaleFish · 05/03/2012 15:04

Erik

I would have thought quitting suddenly > causes huge mental stress > causes physical problems --> causes miscarriage/problems with the pregnany. Doesn't it all depend how stressful an individual would find quitting?

I would have thought cutting down --> quitting would be a safer way, or quitting before you TTC if possible (it increases chances anyway).