to think "no actually, the stress of stopping smoking won't be worse for your unborn baby than you smoking"

[UphillBothWays]

I'm fed up with hearing this as an excuse for continuing to smoke in pregnancy! I've heard people say this in real life, on TV, and now Stacey Solomon is claiming her doctor OK'd her smoking too.

Yes, quitting smoking is hard, but don't claim it's better for your baby to be exposed to carbon monoxide, cyanide and nicotine fgs.

I would have a lot more sympathy if they said "I know it's awful and I'm trying my hardest to stop but I'm struggling and have slipped up"

There are no physical withdrawal symptoms with cannabis and yet people struggle to give up

Yes the addiction is psychological

Doesn't mean it is easy, but it does mean withdrawal will not affect the foetus if the smoker is pregnant.

Smoked, not heavily, but 10 or so a day. Some weed too, not a JK layabout (a successful businesswoman, takes all sorts dontyaknow!). The minute I found out I was pregnant both me & DH gave up. He had been smoking a similar amount.'I felt terrible enough about the 5 weeks I'd not known I was pregnant.

I was going through a very stressful time at work & with wider family health issues at the time too.'but I still got more stressed at the idea of harming my baby, than not having a fag.

Also agree, caffeine was MUCH harder to cut down than fags were to give up!

YANBU, the message you mention being out there will be latched on to by hundreds of people & salve their consciouses.

Oh and it's a tad weird the way some people talk about the overweight and smokers as though they are two mutually exclusive groups.
The one place in my town centre where I can guarantee to see a row hefty people lighting up, is outside McDonald's when they've just finished their burger and fries!

Eirkur - If it's so unusual then why does it say in a lot of quit smoking sites/leaflets that you might experience flu like symtoms and many of the things my husband experienced? He also had a hacking cough for two weeks!

It's hardly surprising someone whose been breathing in toxins for years is going to have a hacking cough. Many smokers have quite hacking cough before giving up anyway. It doesn't mean giving up is physically harmful though

No of course it's not harmful to give up (and I am firmly against women smoking in pregnancy and making all kinds of lame excuses - I'm one of the judgers!), I'm just saying it's bollocks to say there aren't very real, physical withdrawal symptoms. I've seen it first hand.

YANBU. I quit the second I found out. Admittedly, I smoked when I didn't know I was pregnant for about 5 weeks which I really do feel bad about, the second I found out I went cold turkey.

I smoked 15 or so a day and had done since I was 14/15, I didn't find it at all stressful and have no cravings at all and I feel fine about it.

I think there is nothing worse than seeing pregnant women smoking, there's no excuse.

Callmemrs you say Stacy Solomon is a pathetic individual for kidding herself that she's been ok'd to keep smoking. But how do you and the others making the same point get the idea she's kidding herself about it being ok'd? It might have been. This thread has illustrated that some medical professionals, rightly or wrongly, do give this advice. Who's to say her doctor isn't one of them?

Now, clearly GPs do make mistakes sometimes. I've been on the wrong end of one. The idea that the stress will be worse than the smoking certainly sounds wrong to me. Although like probably the vast majority on this thread I'm a non-clinician, so I've no qualification whatsoever to make that call. But, when it comes down to it, are you really saying a person is pathetic for assuming the advice given by their GP is correct? If so, that's bullshit. Patients are entitled to trust their doctors. If you dislike the advice, that's something to hold against the giver not the recipient.

Whoever said about the burgers might have a point. not McDonalds, thank fuck, but I was caning the birds eye ones earlier in pregnancy. Never touch them normally otherwise!

And still no one has commented on the effects of smoking on the man's sperm.

I wonder how many of those judging other women for smoking have DHs or DPs who smoked when they were TTC.

If a woman has cancer and she's pregnant, is she allowed to take cancer-curing drugs even though they will probably harm her baby? Ok it's a bit of an extreme comparison and therefore a bit sneaky because cancer can affect even those who make good lifestyle choices, whereas smoking is taken up voluntarily, but the principle remains. You either believe the life of the mother is paramount or that the baby takes precedence over the mother while in the womb.

It's so very, very complex and taking such a black and white stance over something so complex involving two interdependent lives is really, really foolish, naive and yes, judgemental - where judgement implies a snap decision made without full consideration of the facts and based on one's own values alone.

Yanbu! What a load of rubbish from the Drs! I heard that 1 out of 3 people that get lung cancer have never actually smoked, they get it through passive smoke! Also if 1 of the parents smoke there is a 1 in 3 chance your child will also smoke! Not sure if it increases if both parents smoke?

I smoked through my three pregnancies and each time was told by my midwife that I would be doing more harm by giving up.

I gave up completely about four years ago and can't believe now I was so stupid and irresponsible. I think smokers will cling to anything that enables them to keep smoking unless they really want to give up

Yes I judge people for smoking while pregnant. And I'm a fairly laid back non-judgemental person usually. I judge the two friend's I know who smoked and drank while pregnant, one of them also took coke in my presence when 8 months pregnant. My opinion of her had changed completely, she is an intelligent woman and has no excuse IMO.

I pity my ex's cousin who smoked while pregnant. I absent mindely lit up next to her, the first time I met her, when she was also 8 months pregnant. I realised what I'd done, apologised and put it out. Her family and friends who were with us thought that was hysterically funny, and she pulled out her fags and lit up. She was pretty dim, and it was normal for the people around her to smoke whole pregnant. I was shocked and saddened, by a lot of dysfunctional Jeremy Kyle like stuff I saw that day (a step mum calling repeatedly calling her 4 yo DSD "you little bitch" as a term of endearment there shocked me too) it was a real eye opener. Yes I judged. I also felt desperately sad for them.

Giving up smoking is one of the best things you can do for your children in so many ways.

A smoking ban is relevant to this thread callmemrs and even if it weren't, I'd mention it in the same way that the other pregnancy risk factors have been laid out. I don't think anybody out there thinks that smoking during pregnancy (or at all, really), is a good thing.

Some people take risks, it's as simple as that. It might not be right for them to do so but it is their right to do so. A woman's body is her own and she has absolute control over it, the fetus has none, it's not a legal entity in its own right. A woman can terminate it at any time.

I don't personally understand why anybody, whose business it isn't, devouring tabloid fodder, feels so righteous in their putting anybody else down. It's a horrible trait as far as I'm concerned and if you think putting your stamp of 'social shame' on somebody will make an iota of difference, you're sadly mistaken and you have achieved nothing.

It really is nobody else's business.

Also if you don't quit in pg you're not going to quit when you have a tiny baby. Also bad. Same applies to all the DPs.

The one that got me was a friend who finally gave up @ 6 months, then lit up as soon as the baby was out. She smokes with her baby in her arms. I've pointed out how wrong & disgusting it is. There was ash on her dd's sleepsuit FFS! I don't see her any more as I don't want my dd around it anyway.

Going purely on the article, exactly how much stress is Stacey Solomon under?

It must be such hard work being photographed. I admit is must be terrifying to have to eat all that Iceland grub.

Stacey if your PR shows you this thread, i rather liked your naivety but you're behaving like a fucking muppet. If a doctor did advise you thus, it's time to change doctors.

Just because a doctor OK'd it, which is beyond ridiculous, doesn't mean you can't have independent thoughts in your head! And do some independent working out and come to the conclusion that you are absolutely kidding yourself if you think it's OK, in anyway.

I genuinely just don't know anyone can pretend it's OK. I smoked for 15 years, and will always say a person has the right to do whatever they like. But be under no illusions! There is nothing that is good that can come from smoking. God. That's the bit that really pisses me off. You're completely mugging yourself and trying to mug everyone around you off if you even try and suggest otherwise.

I passed comment on the man's sperm. I said smoking was foul whatever the circumstances. This includes men TTC.

I'm sure there are many careworn, overworked Health visitors, midwives etc. who just KNOW that they are fighting a losing battle when they trot out the smoking cessation message. I've heard women use the excuse of "oh it would cause me more stress if I gave up" before they've even been near a health professional - they've just borrowed the excuse from their mates who were pregnant and continued smoking or sometimes their own mothers.

It's that old rights and responsibilities chestnut. I have a right to a child, I have a right to smoke but let's just gloss over the responsibility I have towards this unborn child shall we?

I like to come on Mumsnet and sometimes articulate what I really feel about things (I know it's quite the revelation!) I have often been in the company of women who smoke during pregnancy (some are even related to me). I ususally just ask them if they are going to try and give up and then politely smile and change the subject.

I also think it's incumbent on any partner who might be living with the pregnant woman to give up too to a) support his partner and show some commitment and b) avoid the effects of passive smoking on his partner, the foetus and the baby that hopefully follows.

We ALL make judgements every single minute of the day and all this pious stuff about "who are you to make judgements" really gets on my pip. We are allowed to make judgements, it's what you decide to do with them that matters. If I were to go round haranguing pregnant women smoking in the streets then, yes, I would be wrong. I'm not though. I am having a debate on the AIBU board on Mumsnet. Maybe a pregnant woman will be so enraged she'll need to have another fag or possibly a pregnant woman might be tipped over the edge by this debate to actually seriously try and give up.

Lyingwitch:

A foetus has no rights of its own? Please explain this in relation to this thread

YANBU, food can be medicine and poison, cigarettes are just poison so if you smoke them and you're pregnant all you're doing is poisoning your child. The risks of damaging the foetus in smoking throughout your pregnancy are very high, too high to not be highlighted to women. Societal condemnation is necessary on moral grounds and due to the implications in providing health treatment for babies born with defects and long term health problems that were, on balance, mostly likely a result of smoking. There are arguably no absolutes regarding babies health problems being as a result of a smoking mother but it is more likely than not. Therefore, I don't see how it can be argued that it is only the mother's concern.

I smoked from 16 to 28 I smoked fun cigarettes (a lot) aswell, as did my DP, when I conceived I gave up and have never smoked since. It wasn't hard physically or mentally! It was no longer just about me and both my partner and I were very self absorbed then, so I must have found that more of challenge than I would now for instance. My DP quit to which believe me was a small miracle considering his history but he did it again without huge problems!

The foetus may not have rights of it own but thats no excuse for Deliberately exposing it to harmful substances

Doctors don't tell you to carry on smoking,

Doctors advise women in pregnancy to cut down slowly and then stop.

However I do get judgy sometimes I threw my cigs in the bin on the way out of the surgerythe minute I found out. If I can do it anyone can.

I had a bad cough for months proudnscary, it is caused by irritation as the cilia grow back. I'm sorry but that still doesn't qualify as a withdrawal symptom. And it doesn't affect a foetus.