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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think "no actually, the stress of stopping smoking won't be worse for your unborn baby than you smoking"

297 replies

UphillBothWays · 04/03/2012 17:35

I'm fed up with hearing this as an excuse for continuing to smoke in pregnancy! I've heard people say this in real life, on TV, and now Stacey Solomon is claiming her doctor OK'd her smoking too.

Yes, quitting smoking is hard, but don't claim it's better for your baby to be exposed to carbon monoxide, cyanide and nicotine fgs.

I would have a lot more sympathy if they said "I know it's awful and I'm trying my hardest to stop but I'm struggling and have slipped up"

OP posts:
Winkly · 04/03/2012 17:38

Until and unless someone shows hard medical evidence to support what the doctor allegedly said, I will state a firm and emphatic YANBU.

EirikurNoromaour · 04/03/2012 17:39

YANBU
It's a myth. No, it's a lie. Withdrawing from nicotine is absolutely nothing in physical terms. It is emotionally trickier to quit but it's nothing like withdrawing from heroin, or Prozac, or anything that causes significant physical effects when you withdraw. In fact I'd say caffeine has a stronger withdrawal effect! (ex smoker, gave up nicotine and caffeine at the same time when pg, caffeine was definitely more felt physically)

I worked with a woman who told me her mw had advised her to continue smoking weed as the stress of not smoking it would cause the baby harm. Liar!

bibbityisaporker · 04/03/2012 17:39

Yanbu! Its complete and utter nonsense.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/03/2012 17:40

It's not a good thing, no, but it's really none of your business or anybody else's, is it? What are you asking AIBU about?

Bellstar · 04/03/2012 17:40

YANBU. The same posters who bleat on about how they cant give up because they are addicts-would they be happy standing next to a junkie shooting up in their dressing gown outside a maternity ward?-doubt it.

There is plenty if help available nowadays to give up smoking especially for pregnant women.

puds11 · 04/03/2012 17:40

YANBU

Utter shite! If you really care about the welfare of your child you will quit smoking no matter what!
And im not being judgey, i smoked 20 a day for 5 years unitl the day i out i was pregnant. Then i quit, no patches no nothing, just the determination to the best for my unborn child!

callmemrs · 04/03/2012 17:41

Bloody hell that's awful, that anyone can care so little for their child's wellbeing. And then to be so dishonest about it.
YANBU.

abbierhodes · 04/03/2012 17:41

YANBU to think it. YWBU to say it to anyone unless you're a qualified medical professional who knows their medical history.

Bellstar · 04/03/2012 17:42

Lying-bollocks it isnt my business-have you heard of second hand smoke? I dont want someone who has just been out puffing on a cancer stick to come and breath all over me or my newborn child thanks-of course I am BU saying thatHmm

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/03/2012 17:50

No, Bellstar you're not unreasonable to say that you don't want smoke blown over you or your child of whatever age. Your post makes no sense though... somebody (of any gender) could have been out for a cigarette and you'd still get the fumes. Not nice but not under your control unless you remove yourself and your child from the vicinity. It is still legal to smoke in this country.

Your post isn't about a pregnant smoking woman, this thread is just an excuse to bash them. I can't imagine that any pregnant smoker wouldn't be feeling crap every time she smoked. Judging them will not make them stop and you don't have the power to stop them.

OP obviously wants to have a needle about something and this flameworthy topic is just the thing.

callmemrs · 04/03/2012 17:55

The op is actually about someone not only continuing to smoke while pregnant, but claiming their doctor has 'okayed' it.

I reckon that's utter bullshit.

The doctor might realise they're onto a loser because smoking is more important to the woman than her baby's health- but I do not believe any qualified medic would actually tell a woman it would be MORE dangerous to give up.

Sounds like the woman is just trying to make excuses for harming her child

gordyslovesheep · 04/03/2012 17:55

I smoked in all three pregnancies - stupid, awful and vile - yes totally - I smoked 1/2 a fag in the morning and 1/2 in the evening

I had sill supersticious reasons for not stopping - believe me nothing anyone judgy could say would make or have made me feel any worse about it than I did

I finally stopped 2 years ago and I do regret not stopping before - and yes it is a myth and no medical bod would actually say that and mean it

but at the end of the day it's her business

Bellstar · 04/03/2012 17:56

Lying-no I disagree that every women who smoked while pregnant feels guilty-I actually think alot of them dont give a shit tbh. As I said there is LOADS of help to try and quit.

My own sister saw me go through the trauma of losing babies 3 times in late pregnancy and yet she carried on smoking. Her main reason?-she doesnt want to get fatHmm

And so what if it is a thread to bash smokers?-this is aibu and lets face it-they deserve itGrin

Original poster
UphillBothWays · 04/03/2012 17:56

Lying if they feel crap every time they smoke why don't they say that rather than claiming it's better for their baby? Every time someone claims this it makes the idea seem more valid to others who might then use the excuse themselves, especially if they claim their doctor said it was OK.

OP posts:
IAmSherlocked · 04/03/2012 17:58

If a pregnant smoker is feeling crap every time she smokes, maybe she could try not smoking? She'll feel crap about that too, but at least it'll just be her feeling crap rather than her feeling crap and her baby taking on board all those hundreds of chemicals.

Moominsarescary · 04/03/2012 17:58

Agree with lying also it is none of your business if someone chooses to smoke if they are pregnant.

If you don't want someone who smokes near your child that's up to you but it has nothing to do with you what someone else does while they are pregnant

EirikurNoromaour · 04/03/2012 17:59

It was Stacey Solomon, she's in the daily fail claiming her doctor told her that load of shit. I get it, she's embarrassed, wants to excuse her behaviour to the public, and isn't very bright but it's no excuse!

Sadielady29 · 04/03/2012 17:59

Ah, according to the daily fail she 'can't wait to not be pregnant any more so she can eat prawns'.

So prawns are a no no but fags are fine. Rubbish! Angry

gordyslovesheep · 04/03/2012 18:00

I stopped smoking 5 times - five different positive tests - all those pregnancies ended in MC so STUPIDLY as I said I carried on having 1 a day because I associated stopping with failure of the PG

again I am aware this was stupid

HandMini · 04/03/2012 18:00

Bellstar - do you mean your sister smoked when she was pregnant or when you were? Sorry about your babies.

IQuiteLikeVodka · 04/03/2012 18:01

Judgemental, the lot of you,get your own lives.

bibbityisaporker · 04/03/2012 18:02

What on earth has whether or not its anyone's business got to do with it?

PandaWatch · 04/03/2012 18:02

My SiL's doctor told her the same thing. Weirdly, she wouldn't touch caffeine or alcohol or any of the other things you're meant to avoid/cut down on when pregnant but would still smoke (albeit occasionally). I found it a bit Confused when she refused to even have a sip of wine but would then light up.

StealthPolarBear · 04/03/2012 18:03

I know someone whose dad died very suddenly when she was pg. Her DD is unaffected, lovely. As stress goes that's fairly high. OP YANBU.

EirikurNoromaour · 04/03/2012 18:03

Gordy

I didn't stop while ttc either, I got drunk on vodka the night before my bfp for the same reason you carried on smoking. Slightly different :)