to have asked this soft play place to make a child leave?

[notahappycamper]

Was with DC at a soft play place today for a party. DD1 (nearly 8) came over crying and holding her face. When she took her hand away I could see a wide scratch on her cheek. She told me she had been attacked and punched by a smaller boy. Her cheek was split inside and she also had a bruise appearing on her upper arm. I asked her why it happened - she said she was just moving past him and his friends. I again asked had she bumped into him or maybe hurt him by accident. She was certain that nothing had happened.

I went to the front desk to ask for something to clean her face and maybe an ice pack. The girls seemed shocked by the state of DD. I asked them was there a policy when something like this happened? They said "No" but I could speak to the manager. She was unavailable and it was arranged for her to come and speak to me later.

I went into the play area to check on my other 2 DC's and DD saw the child who had hurt her. A man then approached him to ask him to come down. I asked him was the child his and he said yes. I showed him DD's face. He said "Oh yes, she wanted to get past and hit my boy so he hit her back." DD, in between sobs, said" I didnt mummy. I didnt."

This man was about 6' 6" and well built. He said to DD, "Yes you did" and to me he said, "Look I will back my son up all day." I was [shocked] but said, "Well that is very admirable but that level of injury to a child is not acceptable. "
By now the manager had come over and the exchange was repeated but the man would not apologise for his son (who was about 6). The manager asked my DD was she ok and she sobbed "No, it hurts." She then asked me what I wanted(!). I said that I thought they should have some sort of policy where they ask child who are that agressive to leave. The dad said, "Well the party we are at is finished now so we are going anyway." I ended up walking away.

After the dad and child left, the manager again approached me to say that that type of incident happens from time to time but they cant do anything about it. I told her that they should think about taking measures to stop things like this, some sort of punishment, even though I know it is difficult.

So, was IBU?

The man sounds like a thug, and a bullly, and his son will no doubt grow up the same. There are a lot of them about, and it appears that there is nothing much anyone can do about it.

I can't really see how they'd enforce a punishment when the child doesn't belong to them and yes they can ask a child to leave. But, when it's one Childs word against another I don't think they will be able to do much.
Yanbu to want some sort of "justice" for your dd though. Hope she is ok.

Your poor DD, but you have to feel for the lad as well for having such a role model to follow.

All soft play should have a sign saying 'Abandon hope all ye who enter here' by law.

Dad was crap, i'd have marched my two the long way home if they'd done that !

I truly believe some parents encourage this type of behaviour. I hope your DD is OK now.

Firstly I hope your daughter heals soon.

Secondly, I recently went to soft play with a group of 3 year olds, some of which got upset at altercations a few times, a few bumps and bruises but nothing too serious.

I'm afraid it's your child's word against the other - that's probably the way the centre have to see it although I'd like to think that if there is a real problem with a child the management would be able to ask them to leave.

My daughter is 3, 4 this year. Personally, I put the experiences down to her learning how to deal with other people, situations etc which in truth will prepare her for school and life.

No CCTV in those places or un PC/inappropriate?

a soft play where I take DD has cameras. Ask to see the cameras for evidence that your DD is innocent.

Not that I for one minute would be happy with the situation you described, or any situation where my daughter would get hurt, of course.

I would have thought CCTV in a place where children are often unsupervised by their parents should be compulsory rather than inappropriate.

It is difficult because nobody seen it happen.

There's no hope for that boy. Where has decency gone?

Not sure why people are saying the dad sounds like a bully and a thug? His height and build maybe? He basically stated that he was going to believe his child in the same way as th op was believing hers. Of course it is wrong for the child to be agressive in such a way but it was one child's word against another tbh. I do not think there was much more the play area could have done.

let it go, lots of injuries occur by accident in soft play places

and cctv?? that's quite a ridiculous suggestion and am shocked places have them!

I might add, that had my child injured another in that way, no matter what provocation, I would be having strong words but we do not know that this father didn't do that behind closed doors.

I've taken my child three times to a huge soft play place. The last time a five year old punched my friends' five year old multiple times in the face. The Father watched and gently told him off. I think I would seriously lose my temper if that was my child - victim or perp.

You'd be asking a business to take one child's word over another's. That isn't going to happen, and nor should it IMO.

I think YABU. Unless you saw the incident you cannot know what happened and of course chose to believe your dd over what the other child said. I assume the man reacted at the sight of your dd and because his ds was being accused of causing the injury. Imagine how you would feel if the reverse had happened?

the mad thing is that if parents didn't watch their kids in these places, the kids would enjoy themselves so much better

and so would the parents!

Thanks for replies. She wouldnt eat much or have her Saturday Hot Choccie treat as she said it hurt.
VickityBoo - she is almost 8 and definately not aggressive with her siblings. Not sure what the lesson is.
Didnt mention that DD2 had her own birthday there a few weeks ago and a guest was bitten on the face by some stranger - again nothing done about it.

So I wont be back there. But I think I will email the centre tonight anyway.

Btw I saw the little boy kick his dad as he was trying to get his shoes on. Did make me feel a bit better! I did think that the boy might have had some behaviour issues but surely you would keep an eye on your child if that was the case?

what are you going to say in the email?

you are responsible for your own child there not anyone else

YANBU - this sounds horrible for your DD and you. The father should be ashamed of himself. Even if your DD had hit the boy (and I am not suggesting that she did) there is no way that one child should come out of the situation with visible injuries like that and the other walk away unharmed and the father think that "all's fair".

Some children are sweet and do not hit. I didn't as a child, I still maintain that record.

You didn't see it happen though.... Your dd may not be as innocent as you think.

Why weren't you watching her? 3 children to watch in a place like that on a Saturday, always going to be busy

Vicketyboo... Did you not read what OP said about her daughter's injuries?

Her cheek was split inside and she also had a bruise appearing on her upper arm

Are you completely deluded???? To brush this kind injury under the carpet!!!

My god woman.... !

OP.. You're poor girlie... is she OK tonight? Hope she has a good night's sleep.. and that she's happier tomorrow morning. Poor love... xxxxx

Definitely right and complain... the fact that they do not have a policy is completely barmy!!!!