to have asked this soft play place to make a child leave?

[notahappycamper]

Was with DC at a soft play place today for a party. DD1 (nearly 8) came over crying and holding her face. When she took her hand away I could see a wide scratch on her cheek. She told me she had been attacked and punched by a smaller boy. Her cheek was split inside and she also had a bruise appearing on her upper arm. I asked her why it happened - she said she was just moving past him and his friends. I again asked had she bumped into him or maybe hurt him by accident. She was certain that nothing had happened.

I went to the front desk to ask for something to clean her face and maybe an ice pack. The girls seemed shocked by the state of DD. I asked them was there a policy when something like this happened? They said "No" but I could speak to the manager. She was unavailable and it was arranged for her to come and speak to me later.

I went into the play area to check on my other 2 DC's and DD saw the child who had hurt her. A man then approached him to ask him to come down. I asked him was the child his and he said yes. I showed him DD's face. He said "Oh yes, she wanted to get past and hit my boy so he hit her back." DD, in between sobs, said" I didnt mummy. I didnt."

This man was about 6' 6" and well built. He said to DD, "Yes you did" and to me he said, "Look I will back my son up all day." I was [shocked] but said, "Well that is very admirable but that level of injury to a child is not acceptable. "
By now the manager had come over and the exchange was repeated but the man would not apologise for his son (who was about 6). The manager asked my DD was she ok and she sobbed "No, it hurts." She then asked me what I wanted(!). I said that I thought they should have some sort of policy where they ask child who are that agressive to leave. The dad said, "Well the party we are at is finished now so we are going anyway." I ended up walking away.

After the dad and child left, the manager again approached me to say that that type of incident happens from time to time but they cant do anything about it. I told her that they should think about taking measures to stop things like this, some sort of punishment, even though I know it is difficult.

So, was IBU?

What would this ,'policy' say?

Even if your daughter had started it , If that my son I'd be mortified and make him apologise. and apologise myself. Sounds very odd behaviour.

if i ran i soft play company i would ban parents to be sure

Both sets?

However bringing build into it highly offensive and innapropiate I'm 5'9 and my Husband is 6'5 , my son isnt 3 and is already 4ft it angers me he will deal with this ''but hes a big bloke' shit his entire life and pave the way for nasty little bullies to his remark build alone makes him thuggish''
However I know you werent meaning to be but just for future reference.

Archemedes absolutely!!! I'm tall too and my 4 year old towers above his friends. Sick of of the presumptions too...

I'd ban children south, they're much more trouble.

My son is 5'7 already and he is almost fourteen! I'm 5'9.

Not brushed under the carpet at all. What made you think that? I said I would not at all be happy either of course. However, from the point of view of the play centre they're not watching as it's the parents responsibility, so they couldn't possibly know what happened between the children and couldn't take one child's word over another's.

Oh and OP, I wasn't mentioning 'a lesson'. Did i say it was a lesson? No. I was talking about lesser injuries such as minor bruising etc which happens a lot in these places mainly through good natured children being excited and boisterous. I was adding my comments in relation to my 3 year old as clearly stated. Different all-together, completely.

YANBU to be upset.

Your DD's injury sounds terrible, and I think that you were admirably calm about it.

I don't know how a soft play could word a policy like you describe. Most of these incidents will be one child's word against another and luckily injuries like you describe are rare.

Regarding height/stature I didn't take it as to mean he was thuggish - I took it to mean he could be intimidating.

LilacWaltz -I was on way back from taking my DS to the toilet.

VickityBoo-Sorry you didnt say 'lesson' you said 'experience' - I misinterpretted. But you are right. I mentioned the father's height as I found it intimidating for him to lean down over both myself and my child.

I dont know what I would put in an email to the place tbh. I just feel shocked and sorry for my DD cos those bruises and the large scratch on her cheek will take a few days to go.

My DH is 6'4", 15 stone and has very short hair (it looks like at least two of my children will follow in his footsteps)- does that make him some of thug in your eye. In mine it makes him a Firefighter who would risk his life to pull you and your family out of a fire if heaven forbid it should ever happen.

Less of the sweeping generalisations would have got you more sympathy from me. The reality is that it is the word of one child against the other and you will probably never know what really happened - the boy should have apologised, but then according to his father so should your daughter.

harry abs 1tv2

ha ha wrong thread. sorry op.

But they can't help the way they look OP- DH finds it incredibly offensive that people thinks he looks intimidating.

I have never said or called anyone a thug. I have just stated I felt intimidated.
I cant help it if I am short - just as he cant help it if he is whatever height.

I guess I have been trying to say that I was more shocked by his attitude. I will never know what happened but I know that if any of my children ever did something that left marks like that on another child, for whatever reason, they would be in serious trouble.

Goos - what thread you on?

can we move away from whole size thing... stop picking holes in OP's post...
my god people.. she just stated fact

This man was about 6' 6" and well built.

what is wrong with that?

can we just answer her question please, instead of tearing OP's post to pieces!

Why should we move away from the size thing vickles?? because you day so?

*say

But what is the relevance of the fact? If he'd been 5 foot would the OP have mentioned it? The relevant fact is his poor attitude not his height

I will no doubt have years of this crap as my sons get older. DH remembers people crossing the road or quickly stepping out of the way when he was a teenager.

i just don't know why you're all picking her up on this? she's asking for our help, and you're just picking her apart... just don't understand it. i'm 6ft 1 and size 22... and i didn't 'read' anything into her post...!

Help? How can we help?

Children do get into scraps, that's just how it is. But if either of my children had really hurt another child I would of course apologise and I would expect them to do so too. I don't see this as one child's word against another as whether the OP's dd hit the boy is to some extent irrelevant, both children agreed that he hurt her, and there was clearly an obvious injury.

I don't know what the playcentre's responsibility was (and all they could reasonably do would be to ask father and son to leave) but the father's attitude stank.