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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to NOT want a cleaner?

529 replies

OrkaLiely · 01/03/2012 19:30

it seems to be very common on MN; paying another person to clean your house. Why can't the adults in the house do it between them? And once the kids are old enough to hold a duste,r teach them to help out as well.

I'd hate someone else in our house cleaning up our mess. It sends a bad message to children too. And no-one in this age of dishwashers, washing machines, vacuum cleaners is too busy to do it themselves.

OP posts:
Deadsouls · 04/03/2012 13:28

I would love to have a cleaner but I don't think any cleaner would clean to my standards, honest I think I would clean up after the cleaner

laptopdancer · 04/03/2012 13:30

Our house is too small for me to justify a cleaner.

AnnieLobeseder · 04/03/2012 13:50

laptopdancer (love the name!) - our house is tiny (starter home shoebox), and that's one of the reasons we have a cleaner. It makes us keep on top of the clutter so that she can get to the surfaces to clean them!

RedHotPokers · 04/03/2012 13:52

Sorry haven't read whole thread .
Just wondering, those of you who have cleaners:

  1. Do you feel obliged to ensure the house is tidy before your cleaner comes?
  2. Are you ever there when your cleaner is there IYSWIM?
  3. If you're at work when your cleaner is there, I presume you give them a key? Do you ever worry re. trustworthiness?
LittleHalfwit · 04/03/2012 14:09

Hmm OP, what else is "demeaning"? Maybe binmen, having to take everyone's crap away? Perhaps teachers, educating our kids (shouldn't we be home schooling?). Chef/waiter - cooking and serving food for other people? Let's face it, the definition of a service industry is to... yup, you've got it, provide a service! Why is it "demeaning" for that service to take place in the home?

And to answer Redhot's questions:

  1. Yes, my cleaner can do her job better (ie clean) if my house is clutter free, and it's a good incentive to have a declutter each week
  2. Occasionally, I just get on with some work in the study
  3. Yes, cleaner has a key - I use a cleaning company at the moment so could report any concerns to them - but I have used private cleaners in the past; I did have a trust problem with one, so we parted company
maraisfrance · 04/03/2012 14:19

I don't have a cleaner, as I'd rather spend the money on holidays in the south of France And I have a full time job and commute, as does DH. But my house is immaculate, my DS beautifully turned out, his homework all done, music practice up to date, etc. I am also extremely well-groomed, AND have a decent social and sex life.

But I am Wonderwoman:) Plus married to someone who doesn't think housework is female work. If you are not, get whatever help in you need or want and sod what anyone else thinks about it.

Sposh · 04/03/2012 14:21

Is this the right room for an argument?

ConstantCraving · 04/03/2012 14:22

I just wouldn't employ domestic staff. It's our mess, so we all help clean. Both DH and I work, but I just think everyone should clean their own shit.
I agree with the person who compared it to private school - just cos YOU can afford it doesn't mean it's ok. And before I get more envy comments I went to private school and have worked as a cleaner (not in someone's home though).
Lots of people on here used the 'women's work' thing to justify having a (female!!) cleaner... how does that work?? If you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem.

Pornyissue · 04/03/2012 14:23

How is it a problem to provide employment?
Sounds like a solution to me

SauvignonBlanche · 04/03/2012 14:25

Fuck!
I've just remembered, DS's BFs Mum is a cleaner. I had her DS round one inset day so she could clean one of her client's homes. Does this mean I've been demeaned by proxy? Hmm

marriedinwhite · 04/03/2012 16:01

Actually the OP has made me focus on how much I still do in spite of having a cleaner. Bows to OP. OP has made me realise I need more help and at 51 should be working less hard. Have already texted cleaner to ask if she can do an extra three hours each week. Tomorrow I am going to formally ask to reduce my hours to four days a week from September.

Thank you OP - you have made me realise my expectations for an immaculate home and some free time are totally unreasonable and at my time of life and with our combined income, I should be easier on myself and have more time for two teenagers who paradoxically need their mum as much as a couple of toddlers. Thanks.

DH thinks it's great too and says he hopes I will do more stuff with him at weekends. Grin.

PurpleRomanesco · 04/03/2012 16:18

Do you feel you are a better person than someone with a cleaner Constant?

PurpleRomanesco · 04/03/2012 16:19

(Good for you married, Nice to see something positive came from this thread!)

:)

breatheslowly · 04/03/2012 16:39

Redhot -

  1. We pay for 3 hours, so if we tidy up we get 3 hours of cleaning, if we don't then we get less cleanng done.
  1. I am there sometimes or for some of the time. I will tidy the parts of the house the cleaner hasn't got to yet, sit on my laptop doing stuff, play with DD and sort out lunch for DD and me and make a cup of tea and have a chat with my cleaner.
  1. I'm not always in so m cleaner has a key. I haven't always felt that the cleaners I have had were trustworthy but tht was more likely to be them leaving 15 min early (a team of 2 so 30min in total) rather than nicking my diamonds and drinking my gin. As they have always been local I don't think it is worth their while to do dodgy things as they could lose all of their clients. My current cleaner is totally trustworthy, honest and a genuinely lovely guy who I have huge respect for.
trixymalixy · 04/03/2012 16:52

Oh god I've seen the error of my ways. I shall sack my cleaner forthwith to avoid demeaning her any further.

OrkaLiely · 04/03/2012 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Pagwatch · 04/03/2012 17:12

Yes LeQueen, get back in the fucking kitchen.
Women. Know your place.

shewhowines · 04/03/2012 17:26

Haven't read all of post.

What strikes me as unusual is that there are loads of people who can obviously afford to employ cleaners on here yet on a thread last week the overwhelming majority of people thought that spending £100 on the weekly shop was too much. Why the disparity?

BrandyAlexander · 04/03/2012 17:30

Good for you married. On your deathbed you won't wish you had cleaned your own home more.

Glittertwins · 04/03/2012 17:31

Why is there a disparity? For us to regularly spend £100 per week on groceries/ supermarket run, it would mean we would be buying a lot of wine & beer. That is definitely not good hence £100 is relatively a lot.

Original poster
OrkaLiely · 04/03/2012 17:33

Pagwatch - you are way too invested in MN.

OP posts:
BrandyAlexander · 04/03/2012 17:35

shewhowines, I think different threads attract different people. Eg I didn't post on the other thread because I spend about £160 pw on food shopping. It didn't seem to be appropriate! Just means mumsnet does have a wide variety of posters.

BrandyAlexander · 04/03/2012 17:41

Oh god, x-post with Glitter, I sound like a total wino Grin Sadly breastfeeding so no alcohol. See, trying to justify myself. This is why I didn't post on that other thread Grin

shewhowines · 04/03/2012 17:41

True novice. i think you may be right. I was one of not many who couldn't understand it. All I kept thinking was who buys all the fancy olives etc if everybody only spends £50 - £75 which seemed to be the norm. I suppose it could be done but it would be very painful.

glitter - I suppose it's whats important to you. My priority would be eat well and that would come way before a cleaner. £100 would not include wine etc for me

MizK · 04/03/2012 18:07

hmm, on reading this thread it strikes me that people implying that its anti feminist to employ a female cleaner may need to consider whether we berate men for hiring male tradesmen\gardeners etc? Are they exploiting other men because they are too selfish or lazy to do their traditional jobs?

As for the comment to LeQueen - which jobs are acceptable for women to have OP? Or should we all stay home and clean?

Fwiw my problem with people employing cleaners is Envy - I am too poor to justify one, waaa!