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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD 'breastfeeding'

227 replies

BlueFergie · 28/02/2012 10:37

Ok DD is 5 and DS1 is 3. They are great pals and play really well together. They play lots of role play games including mummy and daddys were they are the parents to a baby doll. Recently it has become mummy and baby with DD as mummy and DS1 as her baby. As part of this game DD will lift her top and pretend to breast feed DS he will put his mouth on her nipple and pretend to feed.
I know its not a huge deal and it's perfectly innocent of course. I am breast feeding DS2 so to them it is just how babies are fed, and they both always did it playing with dolls. But I don't know if its appropriate
DH thinks it isn't and needs to be stopped. What do you guys think. Should I say something and if so what.

OP posts:
4madboys · 28/02/2012 22:28

i know plenty of 10yr old siblings that still share baths on occasions! my 9 and 7 yr old had a bath together today! my friend has an 11 and 9yr old they share baths together. once children WANT to ahve baths on their own they do so, but many siblings are happy to bath together, even girls and boobs, i think once a child is starting to go through the physical changes of puberty they probably wouldnt want to share a bath, but some do. i remember having a bath with my sister when i was 12, so she would have been about 6, it was never an issue.

RachelWalsh · 28/02/2012 22:29

Oh my goodness, no Firawla! I wouldn't want a 10 year old sharing a bath with other children! Imagine what could happen!

Erm, actually, what would happen? Why would that be a problem? These are CHILDREN we're talking about FFS.

4madboys · 28/02/2012 22:29

taht should say girls and boys not boobs...not sure hwat happened there Blush Grin

AmberLeaf · 28/02/2012 22:30

Chocolate no im not shocked!

I would like to point out that I have not said at any point that I find this weird, odd or creepy that has been other posters.

I also said I think its natural for children to copy like that, my point has been in the interests of teaching them particularly the 5 yr old [as she is older] about personal boundaries that it shouldnt be encouraged

I dont think it has anything to do with sex or sexual abuse.

I dont have issues with breastfeeding [I have breastfed myself!]

So for me its about establishing personal boundaries not anything to do with 'dirty' stuff or peedafiles or any 'hysteria' type ideas.

hellymelly · 28/02/2012 22:31

chocolateisafoodgroup- Grin

AmberLeaf · 28/02/2012 22:33

I suppose it depends why you think it wouldn't be ok AmberLeaf? You and all the other posters who have a problem with it are being very evasive about saying what, specifically, is not ok about it

Read back, ive explained twice inc my last post why I 'have a problem' with it.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 28/02/2012 22:34

BlueFergie - I would leave them alone. Challenge anyone else who has an issue with it. If your MIL thinks it's disgusing, ask her to tell you why exactly? If one of them does it while playing with other kids hopefully their mothers would be more enlightened than some people on this thread and if not, you can always tell your DC not to do it with x or at x's house as x's Mummy is a bit strange and thinks babies should only be fed with bottles. Don't make it your DC's issue.

AmberLeaf · 28/02/2012 22:34

Amber, to shock you even more... You know there are countries where 7-9 year olds are still b/feeding, don't you? Entire countries

No really?

Have you actually read my posts?

skybluepearl · 28/02/2012 22:35

I think it's your DH who has the issue personally. The point is that it's all perfectly innocent and your DD's chest is just like her arm or shoulder at this present time. Your DD is only 5 and not even at secondary school

messymammy · 28/02/2012 22:36

But Amber, if its not sexual, and the children are comfortable, why do those boundaries need to be established?
Two little children playing...I just don't understand why its so wrong to some

ReshapeWhileDamp · 28/02/2012 22:37

I'm really glad that the vast majority of posters on this thread are sane balanced about this.

Amber, I think you'll find that the children themselves will lead the way of when this isn't 'appropriate' any longer, because they'll, um, stop doing it...?

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 28/02/2012 22:37

I clearly have no personal boundaries.... I used to run around the house naked when I was three... My Catholic (very Catholic) grandma said it would come to no good... She was right.... I was a life model for 6 years all through uni and my PGDL!

Mind you, one of the paintings of me did go for £35K Wink

Maybe it was all cos I shared a bath with my younger brothers? (Leaves thread to go find a good therapist....)

AmberLeaf · 28/02/2012 22:38

But Amber, if its not sexual, and the children are comfortable, why do those boundaries need to be established?

What are you saying? do boundaries never need to be established then?

RachelWalsh · 28/02/2012 22:39

Nothing that a good dose of shame wouldn't have fixed chocolate...

4madboys · 28/02/2012 22:39

chocolateisafoodgroup you are clearly doomed, as i my ds1 who saw me birth his sister when he was 11, he must be scarred for life! Grin

MamaMaiasaura · 28/02/2012 22:39

Re the bath thing. I have bath with 4 month dd and ds2 (aged 4) and then when dd and I get out, ds1 (12) hops in and ds2 loves it. It's a family affair and kids love it and it saves water. I am so glad my dc children arent self conscious about their bodies. If ds2 not in bath and barges in shower with dh.

HandMini · 28/02/2012 22:41

There are quite a few leaps of judgement on this thread....

Chocolate, I have no idea why you decided Amber would be shocked by extended breastfeeding? Her age question was about the appropriateness of a game.

Chipping...so if a mother didn't like this game that would suggest she's a bottle feeder?

I think posters should accept that it's possible to be PRO-breastfeeding but anti this game

AmberLeaf · 28/02/2012 22:43

Thank you HandMini.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 28/02/2012 22:43

HandMini - Oh FFS - there's always one isn't there. No, it would just be a simple way of excusing her narrow minded view to two small children without saying something that they might repeat that would offend the daft bat.

4madboys · 28/02/2012 22:43

mamamaiasaura my kids are the same! in and out of each others baths or mine or dps! ds1 is 12 and he wouldnt bath with me now but ds2 who is 9 would still get in with me Shock children do develop their own self awareness and decide for themselves what they are and arent comfortable with as they get older, we are a fairly relaxed family when it comes to nudity etc but ds1 is starting to want a bit more privacy, he is leading they way ont hat but my children still KNOW that their bodies are private and they DONT have to let other people see them if they dont want to etc.

HandMini · 28/02/2012 22:46

Chipping I still don't get your point. Because you think Amber leaf is narrow minded in one way, you try to show her to be narrow minded in more ways? Whatever.

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 28/02/2012 22:47

Agreed, handmini but the game was about breastfeeding - I don't think Amber would be shocked if they were licking each other's elbows? I think a discussion of b/feeding, how we do it, who sees us doing it, how culturally acceptable it is is relevant to the broader discussion.

I am also slightly taking the mick.... hence the [grins] in my posts. I actually quite admire Amber for sticking so resolutely to her guns despite the fact that she is captaining the Titanic in this particular debate....

Pumpster · 28/02/2012 22:48

I lock the door when I have a bath! My private time!

AmberLeaf · 28/02/2012 22:48

Did I say I was shocked at their game Chocolate?

AmberLeaf · 28/02/2012 22:49

Chocolate please go back and read my posts.

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