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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For punching the next person who calls me 'too posh to push' in the face

176 replies

beckyboow88 · 27/02/2012 16:43

Both my DCs were born my sections, first emergency, second elective. I've gone through all sorts of emotions about them from feeling that I'm not a real woman to where I am now that is actually quite happy my bits are intact still. But if one more person tells me I'm too posh to push I may just hurt them. AIBU?

OP posts:
bemybebe · 27/02/2012 23:05

"too posh to push" is equally offensive to "bits intact" and "cs are wonderful sexsavers"

hth

BikeRunSki · 27/02/2012 23:07

Neither of my DC would be alive and well if If hadn't had an emcs. Nor would I be if if hadn't had the second one.

Yanbu

Sorelip · 28/02/2012 02:42

I had EMCS 2 months ago, and the other night, I pissed myself. How I wish I'd done my pelvic floor exercises when pregnant, but noooo, I was too lazy. So, trauma of and recovery from, CS, combined with urinary incontinence. Magic.

I don't get why anyone gives a toss how other people give birth. I don't think anyone will dare comment on my needing a CS. The people I know well enough to discuss my birth with aren't rude enough to come out with any of that 'you didn't do it the proper way' crap.

Blx2thelotofem · 28/02/2012 03:47

I hate the smugness of some women who have had caesarians. Bragging about their "honeymoon fresh" nether regions. Fuck off.

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 28/02/2012 05:04

CeliaDeBohun (if you're still reading this Grin) I know - my poor friend.... two bloody horrifying experiences.... I'm sure she will complain, she's excellent at getting her point across (and actually was shortlisted as Mental Health Lawyer of the year - not that this is relevant info to this thread, just to say I am bloody proud of her,though!)

(I am not barmy and typing this in the wee sma hours of the morning... I live on the Western Coast of the USA - it's only 9pm here, though actually that's plenty late enough for us first trimester pregnant types Smile)

Annakin31 · 28/02/2012 07:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MistyMountainHop · 28/02/2012 07:31

I hate the smugness of some women who have had caesarians. Bragging about their "honeymoon fresh" nether regions. Fuck off

oooh! someone sounds a Tad jealous there...... :)

gettingalifenow · 28/02/2012 07:32

I haven't red pags 2 to 5 here, but what I would say, re my circumstances ( 1 emergency, 2 electives) would be 'not too posh to push, just not too stupid to risk my baby's life '.....

Blx2thelotofem · 28/02/2012 07:45

Too bloody right, MistyMountainHop. And when I am done having kids, I am having plastic surgery to sort it out.

PosiePumblechook · 28/02/2012 07:50

Does anyone really care or think vaginal births has any affect on their bits? (trauma aside)

I think people who have sections just say about bits because it's a good retort, not because they genuinely feel smug.

Blx2thelotofem · 28/02/2012 07:53

It's not a good retort though Posie - it's spiteful.

lockets · 28/02/2012 08:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

drywhiteplease · 28/02/2012 08:17

Dispite my earlier comments I have to say no one has ever made me feel bad about having cs.......I know nice people.
I just wish women would just live and let live a little. I have noticed (have teenagers...eek) that when it comes to child rearing people suddenly become ever so opinionated and judgemental and over sensitive. No one would comment about your mortgage,what sort of holiday you have or your choice of wedding venue for example but when it comes to all topics babies suddenly normal rules don't apply.what I chose to do really was my business and prob not for the next person, I'm fine with that,and I don't lecture them and make them feel bad about their choices either.

drywhiteplease · 28/02/2012 08:19

apart from my mil who would comment on all the above but she is nuts!

PosiePumblechook · 28/02/2012 08:26

It's a good retort to people who are rude about 'too posh to push' ffs.

And many people feel it's okay to ask why you are having a section, sometimes with a raised eyebrow. TBF I never bothered being rude as I never felt anything but proud of my birthing experience, afterall all my children made it into the world alive, nothing else matters.

MistyMountainHop · 28/02/2012 08:31

hear hear posie

ithaka · 28/02/2012 08:33

And yet you have been rude on this thread Posie.....

When you get beyond the baby/toddler years no one ever asks how you gave birth to them - you would really have to try and shoe horn it into a conversation!

So like most things with children, it is annoying but will pass...

treadwarily · 28/02/2012 09:35

Honestly there is so much nonsense bandied about... imo any woman giving birth is the only expert on her birth, and anyone else claiming to know better is a royal pain in the arse.

lockets · 28/02/2012 09:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theodorakis · 28/02/2012 12:04

What is it about having babies (and feeding them) that makes people so competitive? Who cares what other people's vaginas are like? I hate the too posh to push bitch almost as much as the "poor baby with it's bottle" bitch. Pathetic insecure twats. And why should I have to provide a medical certificate for either thing?

PosiePumblechook · 28/02/2012 13:29

Rude? Really? So I post a very quick and moderately silly retort and I'm classed as rude. FFS MN is seemingly being taken over by kittens.

mum80 · 28/02/2012 13:50

Well I have just been told I will be having my 3rd child by csection so no one had better say i am too posh to push. my 1st birth was a proper crash section with Ga. No choice in the matter. However, baby survived. I, however stryggled with breastfeeding and felt so sad about missing out on those 1st few hours of her life.
For my 2nd I opted for a VBAC. Unfortunately, after getting to 9cm's I had to have a section due to "failure to progess". At least this time i was awake although not in a position to make my views known. I would have liked to have seeen the actual birth and not be told the sex.
At least this time i will be in control.
The thing that annoys me the most about my birth experience is the propaganda spouted by the NCT. " Most csections are not real emergencies and you can get the csection you want!!!"

mum80 · 28/02/2012 13:51

Sorry for typos.

kelly2525 · 28/02/2012 14:01

I don`t understand the whole competitive birth thing either, I had a section, after 3 days of being induced and still being only 1cm and a baby with a dropping heart rate, there was no other option.

I had someone say to me last week, "Well, you cant actually say YOUVE given birth, you had a section"

This is a supposed friend of mine.

Why does it matter? I dont give a fuck how anyone gets their babies out, how theyre fed, what nappies they wear or if theyre child geniuses, why does anyone else?

CovertTwinkle · 28/02/2012 14:06

i think they are BVU to say that aswell but also had a 23 hour labour from start to finish and my 'bits' have gone right back to how they were before as i didn't tear at all or have an epi and did a few pelvic floor exercises in the months after DD was born. So yeah, agree with others who have said you are BU to assume V delivery leaves you with gun shot wound like bits, and anyone that has torn badly would also probably resent the reference to that. you are in turn rubbing things in the face of people who didn't have a CS by gloating about your bits. We all have some kind of badge of honour after having kids whether that be a scar from a section or stretchmarks etc ... we should be proud to have our kids not bicker about whether our fannys are perfect or not.