For punching the next person who calls me 'too posh to push' in the face

[beckyboow88]

Both my DCs were born my sections, first emergency, second elective. I've gone through all sorts of emotions about them from feeling that I'm not a real woman to where I am now that is actually quite happy my bits are intact still. But if one more person tells me I'm too posh to push I may just hurt them. AIBU?

I had a ELCS. I tell people it was because I was too posh to push. :)

" if theres a positive for sections that has to be one!! "

Yes, because having a live baby and mother at the end of it isn't positive enough

Next time just say;
"did you mean to be so rude?"

That normally shuts people up pronto

I had 2 vaginal deliveries and - just every now and again - I envy my dsis (2 CS like you OP) her intact pelvic floor and unstitched fanjo

This thread seems to just consist of people saying that

a) women who have had vaginal births are all paranoid about their bits being loose.

b) women who have had CS are defensive about not having done it 'properly' and make nasty comments about the VBers vaginas.

Can we just agree that passing any judgement on other peoples birth experiences is pointless and divisive and if all of your self esteem is based on whether or not you've pushed anything out of your vagina, you are a bit daft anyway?

But if i go into labour before my date?!

Don't worry, they'll do your section as soon as there are any labour signs. I was worried about this too - had visions of going into labour and having to have a real emergency CS. As it happened, I had what I thought were slightly painful braxton hicks a week before CS date and went in to the labour ward just to make sure all was well. Turned out that I was 1cm dilated. Anyway, they kept me in overnight and did the section next day. I was nowhere near being in established labour but they didn't want to take any chances. Hope this helps reassure you!

I have always had 'too posh to push' or too old to push'.
Even in the hospital I received pitying comments like 'oh what a shame you had to have a CS.'
It really is very rude and I invariably feel I've got to explain that the baby was transverse and stuck. I think the comments about tight fangos are a defensive mechanisms in retalliation to the hurtful comments about ECS. Unlike CS, people don't usulayy feel the need to comments on vaginal births.

I've had it said to me once and I wasn't too happy because I had an emergency csection and it was hell. So much so I was adamant I was going for a VBAC second time. One of my friends says she would always opt for a csection like it is the easy option, gets my back up because for me is wasn't.

MidnightinMoscow I got to 9cm with my first too so (I was told) it was likely I would be able to labour naturally, I went on and had a succesful VBAC two years later. Good luck.

What is it with people thinking having a cs protects your pelvic floor. I have had three and no vaginal deliveries and my pelvic floor is well and truly fucked, probably from three babies trampoling inside my stomach for months at a time. It is actually seriously humiliating how fucked my pelvic floor is and I know I need months of physio

I had an emcs. My pelvic floor is still not what it was though!

Any discussion about VBAC after multiple CS, I always think of Riven. She regrets making that choice, I know. There is nothing posh about it.

Ha! This reminds me of when I met my OH. We had been seeing each other casually for a few months before I told him I had kids. His reaction? 'You're lying, your fanny's too tight'
2 VBs here, 11 months apart.

I've never given birth other than cs
all crash cs
I'm obviously v v posh

and cs doesn't equate to intact pelvic floor
it's the muscle tone,and stretch demands exerted during pg

All three of my children were born by elective section initially at maternal request, at The Portland. I chose this because I could. It was right for me. I absolutely believe that women should be supported in all their birth choices - homebirths, waterbirths right up to highly medicalised interventionalist experiences like mine. Beyond that, I don't CARE how anyone else gives birth. It's a bit like wanting to wear a T shirt saying "I don't care how much your house is worth."
And I was called "too posh to push" to my face once. I smiled and says "yes."

As for "bits intact" externally yes of course, but my pelvic floor took a thrashing long before I gave birth and I trump uncontrollably when I run!

I had to have an emergency caesarean with my first as his heart stopped and I'd had awful contractions for 18 hours. He had to be whipped out then revived. I have had ongoing abdominal pain ever after (hernias, separated muscles) and was advised ot have an elective one with my second which I did. I had a few nasty comments when I went back to work and was so stunned by them that I couldn't think of a witty retort back so just gulped then went quiet. Nasty pieces of work.

lol an earth mother who gave birth suckin a tremor mint,bouncing on yoga ball.said she felt sorry or me as I hadn't given birth properly

I said yes its because I too busy,too posh,and had to be back at work in jig time....she believed me and gossiped it around the baby group.most amusing

CeliadeBohun this is not always as true as we might hope it would be.... My friend just had a second C after a nightmare first labour that ended in emergency C. She had a booked elective, but went into labour before the scheduled date. She had to fight hard to get her C-section! Some daft midwife told her she 'couldn't be in labour because her waters hadn't broken' (WTF?! My waters didn't break in either of my two labours until I pushed!!!). She was actually sent home because she 'wasn't in labour' (in the middle of the night) came back in the next day, her not-labour dragged on all day until she basically went ballistic and asked for the C-section it was in her notes she should be having all along....

I know this is just anecdotal experience of one person's story, but I think it speaks to a larger point: Hospitals are under the gun to lower their C-section rates, and are increasingly (it seems) loath to comply with patient wishes even when these are clear, laid out in the notes, and agreed upon in advance with a consultant.

I, too, wish it were otherwise: My poor friend!!!

Scots mummy - yes I've experienced the same patronising remarks. I just think some women are sad if they regard themselves as superior just because they've done what comes naturally for most. As long as the baby is alive and healthy and the mother is alive, that's all that matters. I doubt the baby will ever feel inferior just because he or she had a cs birth.

This is similar to breastfeeding. I breastfed with no problems but I would never criticise women who couldn't or chose not to.

for some women motherhood is an ongoing competition
mode of delivery
mode of feeding
baby wearer or incarcerated in a mobile prison
ickle soft fair trade cashmere or scratchy factory rags
precious moments at home or outsourced daycare
.....and wait til they go to school
oh and the school gate mammies,the mother superiors and PTA

I had an emergency c-section after getting to 10cm as DD started getting oxygen deprived and distressed due to being induced.

Its very sad that people make comments like this as these thoughtless remarks can really upset - I was very down after that birth experience anyway to hear someone say that would have made me really upset and not helped with PND.

Scottishmummy you need to add Mode of Conception to your list! I've come across PLENTY of people who are offensively smug about their fertility in the face of those that struggled. But that's a different thread!

Hell do folk compete on that too
Well that's bizzare