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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For punching the next person who calls me 'too posh to push' in the face

176 replies

beckyboow88 · 27/02/2012 16:43

Both my DCs were born my sections, first emergency, second elective. I've gone through all sorts of emotions about them from feeling that I'm not a real woman to where I am now that is actually quite happy my bits are intact still. But if one more person tells me I'm too posh to push I may just hurt them. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
beckyboow88 · 27/02/2012 17:48

Didn't even notice any spelling errors, serves me right for reading whilst feeding kids!!

OP posts:
Idlewild · 27/02/2012 17:51

YANBU re being told you are too posh to push but you most definitely are being unreasonable, and frankly rude, with the 'intact vagina' comment. This makes you as bad as the people you're complaining about.

I wouldn't be so smug incidentally. I have a friend who had an ELCS with DC2 after a v nasty experience the first time round. Her pelvic floor was fucked afterwards and she was still leaking urine a year later. It's often not the pushing, but the carrying around of a hulking great baby in your pelvis, that does the damage.

Stangirl · 27/02/2012 17:52

OP - YANBU

I've had 2 ELCS because I'm scared of childbirth - both on the NHS. If ever I think someone might be about to wheel out the "too posh to push" line I jump in with "not too posh to push but definitely too old and knackered".

ENormaSnob · 27/02/2012 18:01

I think the derogatory comments re vaginal birth are far worse than anything said about a section Angry

DrowninginDuplo · 27/02/2012 18:01

I've had that too. People seem to miss the point that ds2 would not have been conceived if wasn't for elective cs. When people ask why I had an elective cs I just respond with:

"Darhling, I'm faaaar to posh to push"

Or if they've really got up my nose I give the graphic account of DS1 birth followed by the several hours I (not he) spent in surgery afterwards. Lovely it was. Well they did ask didn't they? Grin

CeliaDeBohun · 27/02/2012 18:03

I wouldn't be so smug incidentally. I have a friend who had an ELCS with DC2 after a v nasty experience the first time round. Her pelvic floor was fucked afterwards and she was still leaking urine a year later. It's often not the pushing, but the carrying around of a hulking great baby in your pelvis, that does the damage.

This has sort of happened to me too Blush Not actually weeing myself, thankfully, but the old pelvic floor isn't what it was. Fuck knows what state it would be in if I'd had to give birth naturally

Catstwattypoosituation · 27/02/2012 18:04

Oh let the girl enjoy her lady area!

I don't believe that any of you wouldn't have breathed a sigh of relief if you dodged a downstairs bullet by having a CS, for whatever reason. It's not going to be the same after squishing a baby out of there. If you're lucky it might be similar, but not the same.

YANBU OP.

picnicbasketcase · 27/02/2012 18:10
ShaysLou · 27/02/2012 18:10

SIL had her first by elective CS because of a medical problem, which she has never explained, and subsequent DC by CS because she didn't want to give birth naturally after CS.

What she does is her business, but her comments (similar to some comments on here) about having fully intact bits because she went the CS route i find quite rude and insulting and i want to punch her in the face for suggesting i have the privates of a 'granny' just because i gave birth naturally.

She went one step too far bragging about her pert boobs because she was 'unable' to breastfeed. Her husband piped up "but you didn't want to breastfeed darling, you said that all along". That wiped the smug look off her face. Am willing to bet she actually was too posh to push.

oldraver · 27/02/2012 18:11

It is a rude thing to say to you but why do you feel the need to tell people about what kind of birth you had ?... Its not something I have ever really discussed

CeliaDeBohun · 27/02/2012 18:17

What she does is her business, but her comments (similar to some comments on here) about having fully intact bits because she went the CS route i find quite rude and insulting and i want to punch her in the face for suggesting i have the privates of a 'granny' just because i gave birth naturally.

I'm not surprised you want to punch her, what a rude bitch. She sounds quite insecure and competitive but still no excuse for being so offensive.

SoupDragon · 27/02/2012 18:20

Anyone braying about their "intact vagina" or being as tight as a 16 year old just comes across as shallow and a bit thick TBH.

sportsfanatic · 27/02/2012 18:30

What a load of bitching. Reminds me why I am much happier discussing the Six Nations in a pub than how I gave birth to my babies Grin

RachelWalsh · 27/02/2012 18:32

The whole concept of having the "fanny of a 16 year old" is just a massively creepy thing to say. Boke.

Original poster
beckyboow88 · 27/02/2012 18:33

I don't think being happy that my vagina is intact is in anyway insulting to people that have given birth naturally. I never once said that ALL people that have vaginal births have baggy bits, however it is a common side affect and those that have experienced that side effect, I don't envy you. For those that have given birth vaginally and still have perfect vaginas with no complications I do envy you!!

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 27/02/2012 18:37

i'd rather discuss other womens fangitas than watch rugby ...

anyway - 2 sections one vag - i am posh and baggy - iiiiiiiii for me!

Original poster
beckyboow88 · 27/02/2012 18:38

Oh and the original post wasn't about my vagina really... The only bit is that I feel that if theres a positive for sections that has to be one!! There are a million more negatives I'm well aware of that.

OP posts:
StarlightDicKenzie · 27/02/2012 18:40

So what do you call someone who isn't too posh to push?

A pushy Chav?

RabidEchidna · 27/02/2012 18:42

I was born by C-section and having seen the scar my mother has and then watching OBEM I can say hand on heart I would never want a C section, Too posh to push is a stupid comment, OP ignor these stupid people

cherrytopping · 27/02/2012 18:44

beckboow88

I'm pro-ELCS and a bit mental about it.

But see that thin ice your standing on??? You might want to step off it and not go down that route.

The original point of your thread was fab. Don't go and make it go tits up. Please.

People genuinely need educating about reasons for ELCS almost exclusively being about physical or mental health and that too posh to push doesn't exact.

The ragged fanny argument does nothing to help that. It doesn't win support. It doesn't help women who have had a difficult birth and are suffering long term health problems as a result and may have difficulty coming to terms with that.

It just helps to reinforce ideas of vanity.

cherrytopping · 27/02/2012 18:45

exist* not exact

I'm loosing the power of typing today.

MistyMountainHop · 27/02/2012 18:48

I never once said that ALL people that have vaginal births have baggy bits, however it is a common side affect

^^ yeah what she said.

and why it is creepy saying i have got the vagina of a 16 yo? i didnt say 12 YO fgs some people dont half get their knicks in a twist. i have, last smear i had the nurse even joked about on the tightness of my fanjo and had to dig out the smallest speculum :o ...and i could tell another tale which proves it but won't.

but seriously it can't be that bad after a vb as otherwise no one would go on to have any more dc would they?

DreamingOfPeace · 27/02/2012 18:51

Oh... You see, I came on here to see if I'd feel better with any birth decision. Nope!!

I'm trying to decide whether to have an ELCS for my (head down) twins after a third degree tear- granny bits AND incontinence risk for later life AND be accused of being too posh to push....

So while you're all here, what shall I do?! ELCS booked as i don't want to be induced again (plus twin vb at my hospital you have to have epidural and monitoring and synto up ad soon as twin one born). But if i go into labour before my date?!

But YANBU, punch away OP :-)

lockets · 27/02/2012 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBlackberrySet · 27/02/2012 19:06

I had three elective c-sections. Noone has ever asked if I am too posh to push. I just dont get the competition about how people give birth. As long as mother and baby are happy and healthy, how the baby came out is utterly irrelevant.