Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Original poster

For punching the next person who calls me 'too posh to push' in the face

176 replies

beckyboow88 · 27/02/2012 16:43

Both my DCs were born my sections, first emergency, second elective. I've gone through all sorts of emotions about them from feeling that I'm not a real woman to where I am now that is actually quite happy my bits are intact still. But if one more person tells me I'm too posh to push I may just hurt them. AIBU?

OP posts:

Annakin31 · 27/02/2012 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crystalglasses · 27/02/2012 21:26

Annakin31- Words fail me. Your whole post is exactly the sort of patronising twaddle that women who have had an emcs have to put up with.

scottishmummy · 27/02/2012 21:29

no an akin birth isn't hardest thing a body will do
generally speaking we are designed for it
that smacks bit of wooman is goddess birth is magical dance of lochia and light

lockets · 27/02/2012 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 27/02/2012 21:34

Giving birth either way is the easy bit. The next 21 years are the real hard bit. Only they don't tell you that.....

gonerogue · 27/02/2012 21:35

I have just had DC2 last week - he was an EMCS following a VBAC attempt. For DD I had to have an EMCS as she had meconium when they broke my waters at 3 cm. I haven't been accused of being tptp exactly, but was asked by a friend why I couldn't have just "squeezed them out" as neither DD nor DS were very big. I was quite taken aback by that and couldnt' think of a rsponse as I was standing there mouth agape at someone having said something so insensitive.

mickeyjohn · 27/02/2012 21:36

i had 2 electives due to giant fibroid (13 cm diameter!) which totally blocks off my cervix - if i tried to give birth vaginally, both me and my DD1 would both be dead. Simple! so I tell people that if anyone ever says anything (and they do!! Still!! Does me head in too so YANBU op!) and it shuts them up!!

Annakin31 · 27/02/2012 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DreamingOfPeace · 27/02/2012 21:41

What was wrong with annakin's post?! She just said either way is hard, don't boast about your fanjo, do your pelvic floor exercises... Where's the judgement in that?! I would agree and say that for me giving birth is the hardest thing I've ever done. Many midwives have said it's amazing how different women are- that some seem to labour well and birth their babies without massive issues, whereas others just can't and don't. Thank goodness for modern medicine and choices. It saves lives.

CeliaDeBohun · 27/02/2012 21:49

She was actually sent home because she 'wasn't in labour' (in the middle of the night) came back in the next day, her not-labour dragged on all day until she basically went ballistic and asked for the C-section it was in her notes she should be having all along....

Oh my god, that is horrifying I'm surprised they weren't worried that something might go wrong and your friend would end up sueing the hospital if she ended up in full labour, since she was meant to be having a section for medical reasons. When it happened to me, the doctors insisted on getting DS out asap. As I said, I was barely in labour but they were very concerned about not letting it progress further naturally.

I hope your friend made a complaint, it sounds like the midwives who assessed her were incompetent and possibly ignorant of hospital policy regarding elective c-section patients who go into labour naturally

Annakin31 · 27/02/2012 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marriedinwhite · 27/02/2012 21:50

I am far far too posh to push and would have been delighted if I had needed a cs - even elected for one at one stage and the baby changed position. The only bit of making babies I was any good at was pushing them out. In fact I was so bad at keeping them in and breast feeding my MIL came out with the all time classic "such a shame you can't perform". SIL who fed twins until they were two is such a good mother her eldest has been excluded from school twice for being an undisciplined brat without boundaries headstrong and individual

OP - giving birth is a teeny, tiny part of motherhood and not a part that our children remember. They remember the hugs and cuddles and favourite dinners and special holiday and mums who love them to bits. Sod the rest of them!

Chynah · 27/02/2012 21:53

I think you stop telling people HOW your child was born at some point (hopefully before they leave home!)and so wont have to put up with comments forever - and that goes for both CS & VB.

Mine were both ELCS by choice and I couldn't care less if people made comments although no one ever has (to my face anyway :) )

kickingking · 27/02/2012 22:02

I'm too posh to push as well, apparently.

Was given the choice between a heavily managed induction with a big baby or an elcs first time around (baby needed to be out at 38 weeks because I am diabetic) and I chose elcs. This pregnancy, I have no choice - diabetes plus previous section makes me an unsuitable candidate for vbac. Not that I care.

But other people do - 'don't you want to do it properly this time?'

FFS why do people care what I do or don't use my vagina for? What has it got to do with them? And of course, they are assuming I have/had completely free choice about how I give/gave birth - I don't. My options have always been limited and judgemental, presumptous comments are uncalled for.

scottishmummy · 27/02/2012 22:16

yes annakin,generally speaking we are designed to reproduce
like most other animals,in fact
it's not a value comment
it's statement of fact,and humans have been doing it for along time.and unless the stork brought me i do believe it's what my dear ma did too

Annakin31 · 27/02/2012 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sandthefloor · 27/02/2012 22:33

I always say I was too posh to push before anyone else says or thinks it. Both my DS were nearly 10lbs and seemed to get stuck. I am glad that I had two CS as I would not have wanted to push them out! My body is wrecked from carrying such big babies anyway so no room for smugness from me.

scottishmummy · 27/02/2012 22:34

no not really, most births are live
humans and babies are v robust
pretty fantastic in fact

DoNotDisturb · 27/02/2012 22:49

Is it just me who's frantically doing pelvic floor exercises whilst reading this thread??

Original poster

beckyboow88 · 27/02/2012 22:51

Nope me too!!

OP posts:

DoNotDisturb · 27/02/2012 22:53

cherrytopping · 27/02/2012 22:57

Not being funny, but

a) can we all stop bitching at each other. This thread is good but the fanny bits is really not helping either side. Nor is the 'justifiably proud' comment cos well - it applies to VBs and CS equally and it shouldn't be a competition.

b) can even the 'too posh to push' amongst you drop the phrase as it just keeps it going. We'd all be better off if it ceased to exist.

Women have ELCS for physical or mental health reasons. That where it starts and ends. Its not a lifestyle choice as even the most 'posh' and with money make that decision with medical advice and have to weigh up associated risks. Its a bit lot patronising to suggest differently. The sooner people wake up to this reality the better off everyone will be. The sooner the phrase is challenged to be inaccurate and ELCS for birth trauma recorded as 'mental health' rather than 'maternal request' the better. It will show up crap care and funding in maternity for vbs as well as recognising reasons behind requests for ELCS and stop utterly disgusting policies of individual hospitals who are denying women who really need an ELCS from having one. And thats better for everyone.

drywhiteplease · 27/02/2012 22:59

I had two sections and chose not to breast feed to boot.

I tell people I am far to posh to push,had my bikini waxed and nails done before births and asked if while they were down there would it be poss to get a quick tummy tuck (no)

Anyone rude enough to comment on my feeding choices would be told my breasts were only for pleasure!

Try to chill out....I know it isn't easy and I used to get cross.people are very rude about what are very personal subjects, (and will continue to give you their opinions about your child rearing/schooling choices/too early ear piercing/excessive ipod use etc etc) but don't let it get to you.

UserNameNotAvailable · 27/02/2012 22:59

Yanbu, I've had 3 sections (1 em, 2 elc) and never had anyone say anything like that to me (not to my face anyway) I don't feel like less of a woman for not having a vaginal birth either.

scottishmummy · 27/02/2012 23:00

cs
formula feeding
bet not cloth bummed or a baby wearer you bad bad mutha

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8