to feel irritated when women say they go back to work when their dc are little to set them good example

[boinging]

I keep hearing it on the news. Are people trying to imply i am a bad role model because i stay at home to look after my dc?

YANBU

Actually, I do think that my work sets me up as a good role model for all sorts of reasons.

But this doesn't mean that not doing what I do is a poor role model. Just a very different one.

I think that setting a good example to your DCs by going to work is ONE of the advantages of that situation, there are many more plus many disadvantages. The same is true of being a SAHM!

YABVU I began properly pursuing a career when I had a daughter because I wanted to show her me being independent and earning my own money and never being dependent on anyone else. I got myself a good education because I thought how can I tell her to get one when I haven't done it myself.

So yes I work to set a good example for my daughters and I really don't care if you feel unhappy about that.

I think working to set your kids (and possibly, particularly your daughters) a good example is as good a reason as any to work. In fact ANY reason is a good reason to work. It's a personal choice and nothing to do with anyone else. YABU (and a bit paranoid)

I work full time because I want to. It is a non issue, a no brainer. I never even considered not working, and I never even think about there being any other way of living.

Why make conflict where none exists? I don't care what other parents do, and I don't see anybody tutting at me as I get on the bus each day.

Yab a bit u.

Toughen up. Whatever we choose to do as mothers on this will be criticised/judged.

I think it is useful to hear if a woman is beating herself up about being a whom that it sets a good example. It's something positive to say.

I hate the supposition that dc will not know their mother I'd they work. No-one ever says it about dads that work.

I like Trills comment about Blur vs Oasis. Sums it up.

work is a good determinant of health (physical and social)
and yes working mum is great role model
being housewife isnt a role model,it is simply you don't work.so if you're touchy or envious that other women work,well that's your issue that you need to address

"and yes working mum is great role model
being housewife isnt a role model,it is simply you don't work."

I FEEL like I'm working.

Or is childcare only 'work' when we're paying someone else to do it?

Ditto caring for elderly relatives?

I think people who make personal and professional sacrifices to care for vulnerable relatives - at whatever age - are admirable, even if they are skint and dependent.

Ignoring the embittered schottishmummy (again) I haven't really met anyone IRL who I look up to or like who's responded to my choices negatively.

If I neither look up to them nor like them I can't really get offended these days.

I think the only time I even discuss the whole Blur v Oasis argument is on the internet or when pissed and to myself.

I have no desire to be a superhero to my children, as I'd fail and look stupid. I think carving your own life on your own terms, being true to yourself and being responsible and reckless in equal measure are 'role models' enough, whether you get paid or not.

To be honest boinging YABU, there's more serious things on the News to get irritated by... and next month it'll probably be some other kind of mother's turn to be demonised.

oh dearie me step away from the Frasier box set
if op feels undervalued she needs to do something fulfilling and worthwhile
emmm like work

I feel that by working, I am showing DD that it's worth while studying at school in order to get a job, so that she can support herself. I do think that is setting a good example.

yes, stick inat school,go uni, be solvent
not dependent upon another waged adult
have choices and a career
working mum is an empowering example to set our children

what about those of us with jobs, not careers??

I gave up work ages ago to look after my kids, now I work in a p/t boring job that fits around the school day

am I setting an example earning minimum wage, or is it only the high fliers setting the examples here?

and sm, you do talk shite sometimes

you work
you demonstrably exhibit that ethos
that's good role modeling
the job or salary doesn't matter, it's the process the demonstrable act of working and contributing

I don't think you have to be a high flier to set a good example. For me, it's more the principle of being able to support yourself financially that's important, not the amount of the salary

I grew up in scheme mum min wage job
it's not the salary or the job
it's the ethos and demonstrable act of working, it imbued a work hard ethos
I am grateful for my parents work and value work myself. I know the value and effort of work, not bothered by who earns what. it all folds same way after all

Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread.

But I think it is setting a fantastic example for kids when women do what is right for themselves and their families, without giving a toss what anyone else might think - whether that is SAH or WOH.

tosh.as adults we all don't float about suiting ourselves,and hey it's great for the kids

as adult parent you fulfill your commitments, act responsibly and dont necessarily do own sweet suit self thang

Was that aimed at me, scottishmummy? If so, perhaps you didn't read my post properly.

read it alright was woolly tosh

as was your answer, as I said nothing at all about people doing their own sweet suit self thing.

I talked about people doing what is right for themselves and their families, which includes fulfilling commitments and acting responsibly if you haven't noticed.

as you said you've not read thread
it shows