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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to object to the t-shirt worn by shop assistant today...

264 replies

margoandjerry · 25/02/2012 20:55

In the dry cleaners this morning. Perfectly pleasant young man serving - he was polite and everything. His t-shirt said "Doggy style. The bitches love me". Why is this ok? It isn't ok. I'm pissed off.

OP posts:
SardineQueen · 26/02/2012 15:09

Grin grumpytail sorry

Birdsgottafly · 26/02/2012 15:25

The problem is that discriminatory/derogatory language towards women is so ingrained in our society, most wouldn't react/object to it.

If it was a statement with a racist connotation there would be more YANBU replies.

I would like to say the same for disabilitist statements but that is still 60/40 (against hate speech).

The t shirt isn't acceptable for work.

seeker · 26/02/2012 15:30

Actually i'fe refined my t shirt to M.A.R.P.

Men are Rapists and Paedophiles.

That's OK, isn't it?

Pagwatch · 26/02/2012 15:34

If he was walking down the street I would regard it as an 'i am a massive twat' statement.
But in a shop he represents the company and he should be wearing appropriate clothing. I doubt that I would make a complaint but I might say 'you do know your t-shirt makes you look really thick don't you? Does that not worry you?' or I might not.

But the 'is that all you have to worry about' comments are pretty mindless really. It is a discussion board. Most threads are not about the situation in Syria or famine. It really really smacks of 'i have no valid point to make so I will just sneer in a slightly pointless way'.

seeker · 26/02/2012 15:43

The "haven't you got anything more important to worry about" and the "Well I think it's funny" comments are really code for "I'm such a fun person, don't worry, I'm not one of those awful feminists - now [insert male name of choice] tell me all about yourself. Your work sounds so interesting, I've always wanted to know what a systems analyst does"

bobbledunk · 26/02/2012 15:49

So having better things on the brain than other people's clothing is now anti feminism..Hmm..to hell with war, poverty, homelessness etc.. to suggest that these things are genuinely worthy of attention and those with nothing better to do with their lives should focus on them instead of the inane is obviously a ploy to get men to fancy usConfused..

seeker · 26/02/2012 15:54

Oh don't be silly. It is just puerile to say "Because you are concerned about this thing, you are saying that you aren't concerned about these other things"

Pagwatch · 26/02/2012 15:55

Bobbledunk.
I am assuming you are attempting to respond to seekers point.

Because my point is most things on mumsnet are less important than war poverty homelessness etc.
One could probably work your way through 95 % of threads on mumsnet and post 'is that all you have to worry about'
But we don't do we, because it is sneery and pointless.

Frankly if you are on mumsnet there is a pretty good chance that no, frankly you don't have much more than that to worry about at this precise moment.
Unless you are cruising aibu whilst simultaneously working out your cure for world poverty?

Pagwatch · 26/02/2012 15:55

I have so much time on my hands that I can post 'frankly' as often as I like.

seeker · 26/02/2012 15:55

Everyone still happy with my M.A.R.P. Shirt?

GothAnneGeddes · 26/02/2012 15:57

Bobbledunk - Do you really feel people's brains are incapable of holding more then one thought at a time?

Of course it is possible to care about a variety of issues.

Seeker I agree with everything you've said here.

seeker · 26/02/2012 16:05

Thank you GothAnne.

I think this is another journalist's "fishing trip" though- there's another thread on a similar theme with all the girlies proving what good senses of humour they have there too. Very depressing.

catgirl1976 · 26/02/2012 16:08

Seeker, beyond it being a "massive twat alert" and totally unsuitable for a work environment I don't think there is much else to say. Your MARP t-shirt is exactly the same. Are you looking for someone to give you a differnt reposnse?

seeker · 26/02/2012 16:10

I would put money on a different response if this thread had been initially about a MARP t shirt!

bobbledunk · 26/02/2012 16:10

It's a silly t shirt, people are suggesting she make a complaint over it and making it out to be a big deal by declaring it sexist.

It's not a big deal and if you are going to involve yourself in what strangers are wearing than you must be really lonely and desperate for something, anything to do. I was making helpful suggestions that don't involve trying to restrict other people's freedom and could possibly help the op and others like her to focus their obsession with controlling others into something useful where it could be a positive contribution.

bibbityisaporker · 26/02/2012 16:11

I love threads like this. Makes it so easy to update the Silly Billy? column on my spreadsheet.

seeker · 26/02/2012 16:12

Just to clarify- in your opinion it is OK to wear any slogan at all on a T shirt in public?

catgirl1976 · 26/02/2012 16:14

I'm pretty sure everyone would have said you were a massive twat, be Shock if you were wearing it at work. A few people would have said it gave them lolz, a few would really offended and a debate about freedom of speech would have started somewhere derailing the thread for a bit. Many posters would think others sad for caring.

Same as always on these threads

Or do you have such a low opinion of other women you think they stop thinking rationally if someone says something mean about men?

seeker · 26/02/2012 16:14

Oh, and bobbledunk, you forgot to suggest that anyone who objects to this sort of think must be really jealous because they don't have a sex life. You remembered lonely, but forgot the rest.

seeker · 26/02/2012 16:16

"Or do you have such a low opinion of other women you think they stop thinking rationally if someone says something mean about men?" Grin

I think I might plead the 5th on that one!

susiedaisy · 26/02/2012 16:18

Op I would find the tshirt inappropriate for a work environment especially if I had young kids with me so YANBU

AnnieLobeseder · 26/02/2012 16:23

*Whatmeworry Sun 26-Feb-12 10:10:51
I'm not sure an adolescent boy in a silly t-shirt could "put women in their place"

Agree.....too many people looking for things to Be Offended by.*

Sadly, Whatme and others who don't think this is important enough an issue to worry about, you don't have to look far in this society to find women being degraded and insulted by popular culture. And the tragedy is that it's so widespread and socially accepted that you can't see why this t-shirt is a problem.

Do you really think it's OK for children to see statements like this?

GothAnneGeddes · 26/02/2012 16:42

;)

ninjasquirrel · 26/02/2012 16:49

I still can't see a proper answer to this, which has been asked a few times, so:
All those who are responding "You're so uptight, haven't you got anything better to worry about" would you be equally accepting of the right to wear a t-shirt to work insulting another group of people, e.g. with a 'jokey' slogan suggesting Irish people are a bit thick? Yes or no?

cherrytopping · 26/02/2012 16:50

I think if you wore a MARP tshirt you were a twat. I would avoid having anything more than a polite conversation with you. As I would with the guy at the dry cleaners. But tell you not to wear it? Na. Your right to advert the fact you are a twat. Like I said before, its a welcome public service. And if you just used M.A.R.P. I wouldn't have a bloody clue what it meant anyway.

Meanwhile going back to my poor 'offended granny'. By this point, I'm sure she would be chatting up 'the nice young gentleman' completely oblivious to what his t-shirt meant... rolling eyes at my gran

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