to object to the t-shirt worn by shop assistant today...

[margoandjerry]

In the dry cleaners this morning. Perfectly pleasant young man serving - he was polite and everything. His t-shirt said "Doggy style. The bitches love me". Why is this ok? It isn't ok. I'm pissed off.

not suitable work clothing at all.

I did wear a communist t-shirt (the whole soviet thing and bought in moscow) at work when we were having a tory mp come around the work place (and this was back in the mid 1980s). They covered me up with a piece of cardboard as not to offend but of course this mp asked me what was behind the aforementioned carboard as it's also not a normal thing to wear to work.

He saw it and laughed.
But this is an aside as I wasn't being hateful to anyone.

I used to own and wear one <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&sa=X&biw=1272&bih=883&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=0icqhGiUl0YGcM:&imgrefurl=www.itsonlyrocknrolllondon.co.uk/store/product.php%3Fproductid%3D1772%26cat%3D0%26page%3D137&docid=u_zKmE_WVKFrEM&imgurl=www.itsonlyrocknrolllondon.co.uk/store/images/P/1999.273a.jpg&w=247&h=350&ei=nZVLT46SJ9CEhQeI96ykDg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=619&vpy=270&dur=11767&hovh=267&hovw=189&tx=89&ty=101&sig=116751701729335884667&page=4&tbnh=155&tbnw=123&start=79&ndsp=27&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:79" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">like this. If I still had it I'd think twice about wearing it, then I'd wear it.

It's not ok. It's code for "I hate women".

This normalisation of the debasement and objectification of women is deeply depressing.

malinois find the oscars thread and what women look like on the red carpet.

Is that code for hating women too? because there are some pretty judgemental comments about how women look in that.

You made me chuckle with the "code" comment though.

The funny thing you could take two approached to this

you could a)
Go in complaining and saying "that t-shirt is offensive and derogatory to women" and demand to the management that they clean up their act.

or b)
Go in, and be really nice and polite and say "You're a really nice lad. I'm really surprised as you've given me really good service. When I saw your t-shirt I thought you'd be awful as it gave me completely the wrong opinion of you. Its a shame as I bet it really puts off girls".

Or words to that effect.

Which approach is going to get the lad thinking and questioning his choice of t-shirt and what message he's projecting...

"Go in, and be really nice and polite and say "You're a really nice lad. I'm really surprised as you've given me really good service. When I saw your t-shirt I thought you'd be awful as it gave me completely the wrong opinion of you. Its a shame as I bet it really puts off girls".

Or words to that effect.

Which approach is going to get the lad thinking and questioning his choice of t-shirt and what message he's projecting..."

Yeah. Because it's obviously a woman's job to take responsibility for educating men. They can't actually think things out for themselves, poor dears, it's up to women to socialise and civilise them. And to do it in an oblique, flattering way, because their little egos are so fragile- women are so clever at subtly guiding them using their feminine wiles......

Blah.

Yawn.

You just don't get the point that confrontation breeds confrontation.

Whatever.

And you don't get the point that appeasment implies consent almost as much as silence does.

Have you read A Handmaid's Tale?

I agree with Cherrytopping- if he doesn't understand that the Tshirt is offensive, he's hardly going to have a Damescene revelation and work it out for himself without someone pointing it out. His male colleagues haven't poointed out it makes him look like a twat, why shouldn't a woman?

But has he been down a well for the last 18 years? Are you seriously suggesting that there is an adult human being capable of holding done a job who does not know, at the very least, that "bitch" is a word he wouldn't want his mate calling his girlfriend?

No, but he might well have friends and a Dad who thinks it's ok to wear it... I'm confused seeker, are you saying that you wouldn't say anything

Ridicule is the best antidote to this sexist tripe, surely?

A crack team of middle aged women wearing too much makeup and too little clothing should lean meaningfully over the counter and growl seductively at him.

He'd soon be running for the hills.

I don't believe confrontation has to breed confrontation.

You can be open and honest and explain what you find objectionable when confronting someone without being hostile/aggressive. I certainly consider what people are saying far more if they confront me without either appeasement, anger, name calling or disrespectful jibes added in.