to think that motorbike racer who died racing was unfair on his DCs?

[TheEpilator]

Watched a film with DH the other night about the Isle of Man TT motorbike race and couldn't believe the ludicrous risks the racers took to partake in this event, during which it seems several people die each year.

Some of them (including one of the racers who died) had young DCs and I said that their fun shouldn't be at the expense of their families' happiness.

DH thinks I am unreasonable and used the old line "he could get hit by a bus tomorrow, at least he died doing what he loved". I think the guy who died (and anyone taking part in such dangerous pursuits for fun) was being quite selfish to deprive his DCs of their dad just so that he could have the thrill of the race. DH asked me to canvas your opinions.

Whose side are you on - mine or his?!...

Upahill - my view on it is when you're single with no children it's fine to take risks if that's what you want to do. It's a bit shit for your family and friends who love you and don't want you to die but it's your life, so go for it. But if you choose to have children, you have a duty towards them that goes far beyond your duty to other people. You have decided to bring them into the world and so you are duty-bound, I think, to keep yourself safe as much as possible so that you are around for them for as long as possible. Yes, life is risky, but knowingly putting yourself in danger is massively selfish, IMO.

About 22 / 23 I guess.
I remember reading something in Trail or Summit magazine.

So Cailin what do you do for excitment?

TE, that's right, that's how it works...but I have felt the same thing when playing the violin and that becomes part of you too. That's not a dangerous sport afaik but it depends what floats your boat...I guess we can all find pleasure in other things if we can't do the dodgy ones.

rather be on the bike though right now. It's just a different energy.

YANBU at all and don't get me started on Alison Hargreaves. I lost my mother when I was small through no fault of her own and the idea of choosing to do anything with a high probability of death and risking putting my DSs in that situation is something I can't comprehend and think is incredibly selfish.

I realise many will disagree with me.

To add, in terms of risk I would say if risk is part of a necessary job, such as a firefighter, police officer, etc then it is acceptable - you are doing that job for the benefit of your family and others. But if the risk is something you take on for fun then I think it's not acceptable.

Oh dear. I really don't know the answer to this or perhaps I do and just don't want to admit it.

Life would be weird if I didn't ride. It's like I'd feel I was disappearing. Maybe that is my duty though.

That sounds a bit like a pick up line upahill

Eh, excitement, eh hmmmm. I read books, and I write books and I play volleyball. Not hugely thrilling

Flowery, I'm sorry about your Mum

But Cailin going back to me and my bike.
Should I not ride that because of the high risk. After all I got knocked off in 1996 when I was riding along a road and a car pulled out of a junction and I got knocked down in March 2011 when I was stopped at a junction.

The bikes give me a lot of pleasure, carry risks, Heck even my mountain bike has landed me in casualty in at three parts of the country over the years!!

But I have children. So am I being selfish? and If so perhaps the govermnent should be told because they are doing all they can to promote cycling (well sort of all they can when the mood takes them)

Should I not take my kids skiing because of the risks.

Should I not go caving anymore?

God I'm going to be bored

so it does!!!!

I can just imagine that said in a creepy Alan Partridge voice now!!!!!

His

Equally Rhino their children were something they chose to have, and have no choice about whether their parent races. They did not choose a danger loving parent.

It's not about the wives/girlfriends imo unless there are children involved

having kids when you know you love something dangerous is a conscious choice normally and one you should bear responsibility for. To An Extent.

I think I'm a bit overly risk-averse upahill, so I'm probably not the best person to ask. I don't like cycling, at all, and find cycling on roads very scary. I don't think you should stop doing it if you find it pleasurable and the risk is one you're willing to take.

I agree with your DH

To follow your argument, once you have children, you lose the right to do something you enjoy and that gives you great pleasure in the name of protecting the children from you dying?

It doesn't work like that. I have a friend who rode bikes all his days. And drove exceedingly fast cars. Very fast. And he's dying from cancer.

I also have been friends with bikers who died and they wouldn't have been the men they were if they hadn't been bikers. And hadn't been "allowed" to do the thing they loved to do due to having kids.

And people die every day in lots of ways - you simply cannot wrap yourself in cotton wool because you have children.

FWIW I think it's totally unfair for someone to expect their partner to give up a dangerous sport if they have no children. If you get together with someone who participates in a dangerous sport then I think you have to accept that that's part of who they are. If you're deciding to have children then I think it's fair enough to ask a partner if they will quit a dangerous sport.

Another biker here, with your DH as well I'm afraid. Yes it's dangerous but so are many other things in life. I ride daily, my DH rides daily and so does DS1. DS2 rides pillion. My DH started road racing after we were wed, luckily on reasonably safe club circuits, I wouldn't of been happy with him racing the TT but would of supported him. DH and DS1 went a couple of years ago and I wouldn't go with them, I know what I'm like and the red mist would of been before my eyes and there are too many walls alongside the road [scared]. More spectators die than racers as they get to ride the circuit too, no speed limits outside of towns and even with it being one way lots of riders ride outside of their capabilities. I've managed 20 odd years without any accidents, touch wood, do not hang around speed freak and wear minimal safety gear, you're more aware of other traffic, road conditions, danger, the adrenalin is exilerating and get to work quicker than car drivers. You cannot live your life in a bubble just because you have children, how incredibly boring for them and you if you did.

Cailin, I agree about the thread title - maybe I should repost without the word motorbike and see what all the non-petrolheads think! OTOH, its interesting to hear so many who are pro-dangerous sports. Makes me realise that sometimes DH may have a point (whispers very quietly so he doesn't hear me!)

Hallo fivegomad, come and talk to me on my Dorset thread in Travel/UK.

Vasilisa, I agree. The WAGs aren't my concern as they love their DH despite/because of what he loves. Its the DCs who didn't choose a danger-loving parent that I feel sorry for.

What about a situation where the DC's follow the parent into the sport TheEpilator?