to think that motorbike racer who died racing was unfair on his DCs?

[TheEpilator]

Watched a film with DH the other night about the Isle of Man TT motorbike race and couldn't believe the ludicrous risks the racers took to partake in this event, during which it seems several people die each year.

Some of them (including one of the racers who died) had young DCs and I said that their fun shouldn't be at the expense of their families' happiness.

DH thinks I am unreasonable and used the old line "he could get hit by a bus tomorrow, at least he died doing what he loved". I think the guy who died (and anyone taking part in such dangerous pursuits for fun) was being quite selfish to deprive his DCs of their dad just so that he could have the thrill of the race. DH asked me to canvas your opinions.

Whose side are you on - mine or his?!...

Over the years we have been to a few bikers funerals

Sure there is a huge difference between motor bikes and mountain and road bikes.
The point was all of them bikes give a great deal of pleasure but equally carry risks especially of death.

So the augument is still the same - once you have kids do you give up a risky sport (diving, motorbiking,paragliding, what ever)

Should Natasha Richardson not have gone skiing, was that worse, I mean she was with her kids.

What about Kirsty McColl should she not have gone diving, she was doing a risky sport and she was with her children.

No I really believe when your card is up you will be given a shout no matter what you are doing.

yanbu I hate motorbikes, I have an irrational fear of them. DH knows he is heading for divorce if he gets a bike (yet another temption along with living alone,child free days and the potential for a better sex life ho hum)

sorry I mean since it was all about the bikes and how fast they would go...Dougie whasit in 55 with the Guzzi V8 in that huge fairing. Those days.

Now we know the bikes can go at 200mph and it's plainly stupid with corners like there are,

I like old iron though so don't ask me

Cogito, to me doing the TT is reckless in itself.

There are probably plenty of people who don't wear a helmet and still manage not to die (maybe it even makes them more careful!). Doesn't make it a good idea.

NR should have gone to hospital to be checked out and may have survived.

I don't ride without a helmet any more those were the days

well maybe once in a while round the block on a test

Agree with your DH. Sorry.

Wow, we're both surprised how many agree with DH [him feeling very smug emoticon]

As long as he doesn't get any ideas about doing it himself !

Agree with you DH too..

NR should have gone to hospital to be checked out and may have survived.

Very true. Very sad.

I get the thing that she may have been thinking though y'know the 'I'm Ok, just a bump, nothign to worry about.

That gives me the shudders because a few years ago I got hit by an idiot who let go of his tow in the Cairngorms way too soon and I was struggling to get away from the top. Long story short, it knocked me to the point of seeing stars and when I rang DH later that night for the evening chat he said ;Are you pissed?

Never occured to me to get it checked out.

Anyway that's me off on a tangent

YABU. I am with your DH on this. This is all down to how each of us perceives risk, what one person deems an acceptable risk will be unacceptable to others. Riding the TT may be a fairly high risk activity but how does it compare with servicemen in Afghanistan? Or standard daily life for unfortunate families living in war torn countries? Some may not have a choice, but the level of acceptable risk will be completely different in those situations. You cannot impose your sliding scale on someone else.

My MIL hates the fact that DH races motorbikes and is constantly on at me to "stop him doing it."

Part of me would love him to stop but most of me knows that it would make him terribly unhappy and come between us. And if he were the sort not to go racing in the first place, he would be someone else, not the man I love.

I think that sums it up RVF.

The soldier thing though is a different cause; I think it pertinent to keep that in mind. They're not doing it for fun.

That crossover from fun to a deep love for something and thence to a very, very important vocational situation is huge

There are far more fatalities on the roads every day of the week, so unless you never leave your house, you are taking a risk. YABU and your husband is not.

Even staying in your house carries a risk

An acquantance of ours fell down the stairs and died banging her head (True about 8 years ago)

Being in the army or being a war correspondent etc carries risks, but to me doing something dangerous which is 'heroic' or necessary is different from doing something dangerous for fun. While I agree that there is a bigger risk of servicemen in Afghanistan dying, their children really can believe that their mum/dad is a hero.

To me, the DCs of the racer will be told that their dad was a great racer and to be proud of him for following his passion, but will they really grow up feeling that they don't mind him not being part of their life because he wanted to ride round a corner really fast? (I know I don't 'get' what biking is about by the way!)

Erm that is pretty much what it's about

I appreciate my analogies weren't quite in the same vein as the TT, which is for "fun", but it was just to illustrate how different people chose to (or have to) accept different levels of risk.

Very true...

and most sports/pastimes are dangerous if the correct safety precautions are not taken.. even fishing carries a certain amount of risk.

OP, would you stop your kids from horse riding if they wanted to do it? Or roller skating? Fatal accidents can occur at low speeds as well as high speed.

Thanks Vasilisa, I thought I was missing something but apparently not!

I don't really like going fast on the road which I guess is the appeal of the road race or track race

other cars/people makes it inappropriate on the road tho plenty of folk do it anyway,

I just like hte sound of the engine and the feeling you're one with the machine. and the posing.

I´m with you OP.

I suppose I see it as unnecessary/avoidable risk taking.

I wouldn't stop them horse racing, but I wouldn't want them doing the Grand National!

I let them play out, walk to school alone, ride bikes/skateboards/scooters (with helmets!) and once they're older I'll accept that they will probably all want motorbikes too. I'm not the type to wrap anyone in cotton wool, I just feel that some risks are worth taking and some aren't.

To me once you have DCs the type of risks you take should be considered, with their welfare as part of that decision. Even Dh admits that the way he rides now is different as he has more 'self-preservation' due to having a family and having survived this long without killing himself!

I'm with you OP. My DP has put some of his more dangerous climbing routes on hold until DS has flown the nest. He still goes climbing but not on routes he would have done if he had no responsibilities.
I think the arguments along the lines of...well, it's riskier to cross the road are a bit silly tbh. Crossing the road or riding in a car is a risk necessary to lead a functional life. The TT race is not.