In thinking about sending DD abroad for a longish holiday?

[nobodyspecial]

She is 4 years old. Dsis has just asked me to send her over to dubai for a month or two in March so she can spend some time with her cousins and have a nice long holiday/have fun before she starts school in Sept and becomes confined to school holiday visits.

I've just had a baby in January and this seems like such a brilliant offer, but am scared DD may feel pushed out. We just asked her if she'd like to go and she seems really eager as she had a brill time when we went there last year.

Would you send your 4 year old abroad for that long a time?

Oh wow no way. Not for so long, not so far from home, not when a new baby has arrived. Way to make her feel like she isn't part of the new setup! If it was a week a bit later in the year so she has ascertained her place in the new family structure then fine but two months so soon?! Seems unreasonable to me! Sorry.

No
Longest I'd send her for is a week

Wouldn't you miss her terribly!!

No way. A week yes. 2 at a push. But a month or 2 when you've jut had a baby. Not a chance

Absolutely not - too far, too long.

A month or two?? Ye gods no. I wouldnt. I couldn't.

How does DD feel about it? If she is prepared to go, why not?

No way not with a new baby on the scene, not even for a week actually! Whole different ball game if there wasn't a new baby.

I figure if she's having fun there, then she won't miss me...ofcourse I would miss her but she's been basically couped up in the house with me since the baby has come (bad labour/stitches/infections) and I feel guilty about it. I haven't made a decision yet, but maybe I'll send her for 2 weeks instead of the months

No, I wouldn't.

She absolutely adores my sister and her children and really wants to go. This is why I am not worried about her missing me, because I know my sister will take good care of her like a second mother. When we went last time, DH and I left her with Dsis for 4 days whilst we had a mini break away by ourselves, and she didn't miss us at all. She is a very strong minded little girl and very resiliant. It takes alot to upset her.

Sorry, not me.
I'd consider it if she was 10 or something like that.

4yo dnephew manages up to a week with us, a 2 hour car journey away. I think a month would be too long. And would you be happy with her on a plane on her own??

I think I might for a couple of weeks - life when mum has just had a new baby is pretty boring.

she wants to go, you are sure she'll have fun and will be taken care of. Why not?

Sorry, I wouldn't. Far too long. Also, I think it is be normal for a child of that age to miss their mum. Would be more worried if she didn't.

Definitely not. I think that there is a big chance that she will feel pushed away - having to make space for the new baby. Not a great start and potentially causing resentment.

For a month or two? Good god no. A week or two maybe, but only if she really wants to go. And what exactly do you mean by "send her"? Would she be on the plane unaccompanied all that way?

She wouldn't go on the plane journey alone - she'd go with my Dad.

A week or two yes, but two months that a would be ridiculous and not on at all, you don't have kids to farm them out for months at a time.

Not two months, god no!!!! Two weeks max.

I am a little puzzled by someone being so nonchalant about sending such a young child away for 2 months. Isn't also important to allow DD to bond with the new baby too?

Also, I wouldn't read too much into her saying she's keen to go. She's not old enough to know how long a month or two really is and I doubt she's grasped that she'll be away from her mum for a long time.

Yes giserablemitt....It's very puzzling isn't it? Do you think that means I don't like my DD? .......

At that age, I don't think she has any concept of how long that is.

I wouldn't consider it, I would miss her too much.