to show I am asexual by wearing a black ring?

[asiatic]

Lots of asexuals wear a black ring on their right middle finger. I'm thinking of getting one. What do you thinK? Have you ever seen anyone wearing one? How would you respond to a policeman, or bus driver or teacher advertising that they are asexual? I'm thinking it might be a helpful message to avoid misunderstandings, or is it something you don't really want to know about a stranger? Would it influence your perception of other aspects of them?

Ah, now I see Bogey. That would explain the odd looks I've been getting in the playground, then.

I'm changing my nickname to Heteronormative Mundane Buckethead

Couldn't the OP just wear a T shirt stating "I don't fancy you"?

Is this ring black middle finger ring just for asexual folk? Are you not remotely interested in sex? In which case it might be an idea just to vocalise your disinterest in sexual relationships rather than showing it by signs

Some people might be asexual but not understand outward signs of this IYSWIM

I have gay and lesbian friends who are non scene and would be oblivious to outward signs of their sexuality because they are so quiet about it - ie they dont need to shout it from the rooftops

I wouldn't need to shout 'HEY!!! Everybody I'm Hetro' and wear badges of shagging hetro couples or brooches with big cocks and fanjos all over it

I just don't understand why there is a need to display your sexuality - maybe I'm just old :(

Not arguing, either or both! Thing is, Bogeyface, I'm having to be ruthlessly selective or I'm going to run out of fingers ( needs to get out more emoticon ) ...

cutt Shit! You beat me to it! ( Wails ... )

Why such nastiness and narrow-mindedness to the op?

I think the general consensus on here proves the confusion and negative responses they are facing when the subject of their sexual orientation is brought up.

asiatic I know someone who defines herself as asexual and I have never heard of the black ring, although I have heard of a lot of the other alternate lifestyle symbols. I honestly don't think a ring will help people understand what it symbolises to you but why the hell not if you want to do it, go ahead.

I have nothing else to add to this thread apart from to say the nickname PatFenis has made my DH laugh so much he's choking on his own snot!

I don't know whether to follow that statement up with a or a

You could still have the Mundane bit Feckless

I am really impressed at the Op's ability to reproduce asexually and don't know why you lot think she should keep her light under a bucket bushel.

Personally I would sell myself to the zoo if I could do it, never mind tactful jewellery.

patfenis - Although to be fair most people will assume you are heterosexual. Generally unless you declare otherwise, that is most people's default assumption. I know I am gay but don't look it. People virtually always assume I am heterosexual.

I apologise profusely and knocks the snot out of worra's DH's throat - unsexually of course! - Big smack on the back that'll make his bits rattle for weeks sort of slap

Not being nasty ... OP's life, her choice ... Just not sure a black ring is the best way to clear up confusion given that not many people who aren't Asexual themselves seem to know what it means.

That said, if asiatic wants to wear one, why the hell not indeed?

lesley33 that is exactly what I was asking the question for. Is the OP wanting to be known outwardly by wearing the piece of jewellery as an asexual - because lets face it, I could wear a ring on my middle finger and nobody would think anything about it - if I were wanting to flaunt my asexuality i wouldn't flaunt it , i would be not wanting sex with folk so I would be not wearing something that labels me

I think all the people saying that there's no need to advertise their sexuality have never put themselves in the shoes of someone non-heteroconformative.
Personally, I'm pansexual (and I can't wait to hear all the great comments I'm going to get about that) and I've found that life is much easier if I'm wearing a symbol of that. People see it, and realize I'm queer without us having to discuss it. The alternatives are either blurting it out the first time I meet someone, in which case I get accused of 'shouting it from the rooftops' or I leave it and try and wait until a suitable conversation I can drop it into. Sometimes there conversations don't happen for a while, at which point people accuse me of hiding it and making it a much bigger deal and I 'should have just told them'.
So I think it's a great idea to get a ring op, many people may not know what it means now, but maybe one day they will if a lot of people wear them.

And to everyone else laughing at the Ops orientation, I bet loads of you would be first in line to claim open-mindedness and defending against homophobia, so why does this not extend to a sexuality?

That made so much more sense when I typed it - apologies if I offended x

When did the op say she could 'reproduce asexually'?? Lack of sexual desire does not equal unable to reproduce for a start.

Gribbet Yes I know what pansexual is and you'll hear no bad comments from me. What is the symbol if you don't mind me asking?

I'm bisexual and I don't shout it from the rooftops, don't attend clubs and only a few very close friends and my fiance know. That is what suits me. On the other hand I have friends in the LGB community who attend clubs, have the symbols on their facebook, attend marches and raise money for Pride every year. That suits them.

Personally I've found a lot of the comments here quite puerile and showing pure ignorance regarding people's sexuality.

Gribbet, as a person who has no objection to anyone of any sexual persuasion , I actually think that Pansexual is a better description of bi sexuality.
But there is still no need to to describe yourself by your personality by sexuality

You are your own person

Oh, I didn't mean a particular pansexual symbol, more a general queer / rainbow-y one :)

I totally agree that my sexuality does not define me. In my mind it's a very small part of who I am, however it always seems to be a very big part of how other people see me.

He's gone to bed muttering how PatFenis and HughJanus would make a lovely couple of any sexuality

And there was me thinking I was to be educated some more Gribbet :)

People tend to latch onto the thing about you they find most distinctive, Gribbet, if they don't know any other pansexuals then that's going to be what defines you in their eyes, I'm afraid ... Of course if they do then it'll be your fantastic cooking or your skill at chainsaw juggling or whatever!

Oh worra we should finish off with with a Chuck Fickens....and no mistake

Sadly my cooking leaves a lot to be desired, but I'll definitely look into the chainsaw juggling...

As with so many things it's remembering to grab the right end that counts!

Wear your black ring. When/if people ask you about it, explain. That way more people will come to understand what it means and with a bit of luck they might tell their friends in a "bet you didn't know this" type of way, rather than some of the fatuous comments on here.

People mostly understand the Claddagh ring and I bet they didn't before it was explained - so help with getting the tradition and meaning better understood. :)

I wouldn't know what it was, or what it signified.

I have no idea what a Claddagh ring is either.

Google for Claddagh ring!

asiatic , so there have been childish and mocking comments here and flippant ones but the people who are taking you seriously seem to have reached a consensus which is this:

1. Wear the ring if you like, if it will make you feel good etc.
2. It's very unlikely to actually communicate to people that you are asexual and thus stop you having to tell people about your asexuality as it's not a common enough symbol
3. It might be a way of raising it more easily
4. It does seem a bit unusual to have so many people thinking you fancy them and then being alienated for whatever reason and not believing that you don't when you try to explain so maybe you are sending out some wrong signals unintentionally - might be worth considering
5. It might be a way of meeting more asexual people which could be a positive thing for you