to show I am asexual by wearing a black ring?

[asiatic]

Lots of asexuals wear a black ring on their right middle finger. I'm thinking of getting one. What do you thinK? Have you ever seen anyone wearing one? How would you respond to a policeman, or bus driver or teacher advertising that they are asexual? I'm thinking it might be a helpful message to avoid misunderstandings, or is it something you don't really want to know about a stranger? Would it influence your perception of other aspects of them?

2rebecca yes, yes it is

But my penchant for (hankerchief like) scarves may have been giving mixed signals

Hankerchief code???

As long as you aren't a gay man wearing them in the back pockets of your trousers in the 1980s you should be fine.

Left rear pocket = dominant
Right rear pocket = submissive

So if you wore a yellow hanky in your left rear pocket, it meant that you liked urinating on people for sexual gratification. In the right rear pocket, you liked being urinated on for sexual gratification.

Orange hanky indicates you want are offering 'anything, anywhere anytime'

Thing is, why would you be wearing it? Is it to repel unwanted advances? In which case, surely a 'no thanks' or a t shirt or badge would work better. Is it to flash an understanding at other asexuals? In which case, surely the Internet would be easier. Or is it to get people's attention, so you can explain the significance of the ring? In which case, why not just shoehorn the subject of asexuality into the conversation if it's so important to you tha people know about it. If wearing a statement badge or dragging the subject into conversation feel awkward, well then, what is the point of the ring?

Go for it if it makes you happy though. I don't think you'd be showing people you were asexual with the ring since 99.9 % of people would entirely miss the significance but if it feels good to you to have a little toward and visible sign of how you feel then enjoy choosing the ring. No different to a Caholic wearing a medal, IMO.

Outward, not toward. Tsk.

If you really want to repel people, eat raw garlic.

I don't want to repel people, I just want to enjoy platonic friendships with both sexes where nothing nonplatonic is expected of me or read into my actions

If you have friends who are putting you under pressure to engage in sexual behaviour even though you've told them you're asexual, they are not really friends and you have every right to tell them to Fuck Off.

Its not really that, Mooncup, I can always say no, and it is accepted. The probelm is reaqlly the other way arounf, when someone thinks I fancy THEM, and distance themselves from me. I wouldn't even say it happened that often, but I have lost some very good friends like that, not large numbers, but some that really mattered to me.

Wow, I have never heard of the black ring thing. I wear a haematite ring on my right middle finger most days - because I like it, it's the only finger it fits and it's smooth enough to fit under a glove in winter. Between that and my white gold wedding ring, I must be sending out some seriously mixed signals!

I might not notice a ring and if I did, I wouldn't have understood it anyway.

But if you want to wear one, and think it will help, wear one.

I have never heard such piffle as 'gay people wear silver rings' - where on earth does anyone get ideas like that?
A wedding ring surely denotes marital status not what you like, or don't like, to do in bed, up the side of the bike shed, in your car at Dogger's Delight or anywhere else for fuck's sake.

I would have no idea what it meant.

If you are at the point where you are going to lose close friends, why don't you just tell them in a way that they have a good chance of understanding?

pmsl

Asiatic If you have told these friends that you are asexual, a ring on your hand won't make any difference. You can't do more than tell them outright.

If you are having problems with friends thinking you fancy them then its more likely that something about your behaviour is the problem, and again, a ring won't fix that.

If it has happened with more than one friend maybe you should ask them to explain what you did that made them think you fancied them and then you could alter your behaviour. For example, you might cuddle them everytime you say goodbye, purely innocently, but they think its odd and not what their other friends do IYSWIM.

Hmm, well, in that case your best choice is probably to bang on tediously about how asexual you are and how you never fancy anyone. And make sure you're not physically affectionate with anyone who might get the wrong idea.

I used to identify as asexual before discovering good sex and am pretty sure I avoided this problem by emitting strong Don't Touch Me vibes (or possibly just by being physically hideous, who knows?).

Funny, funny thread.
That is all.

?

No-one knows what it means. If you are trying to repel people who are on this thread, consider it done, but no-one else knows what it is. Wolef fleece far more universal "don't hit on me" signal.

Take the veil?

Wear a Cliff T-Shirt with "Asexuals for Jesus Tour 2012" on the back?

Are you a "young person"? Because if you aren't I can guarantee that no-one will have the slightest idea what a black ring means. In fact I'm not convinced that any younger people will either but am not going to pretend I know for a fact and am down with the kids etc...

My suggestion. You say you have difficulties esp with women with making friends as when you get to know them they start to wonder why you don't fancy any men and wonder if you fancy them. Well, a. they must be a bit odd if they are put off being friends with you by assuming you are gay and therefore must obviously fancy them and b. why not just say when they are saying ooh he's hot - oh I don't fancy him or her and I'm asexual and answer any questions job done

OneLastSoul the up yours middle finger could be mistaken for a sexual gesture, bad idea

Again, though , asiatic , if it's a statement of identity for you then go for it but just don't expect it to mean anything to anyone else. I didn't ahave an official engagement ring but chose to wear a ring on that finger for a short while when I was just engaged as I liked the way it reminded me of being engaged! I also had no wedding ring for ages and would wear a random ring on that finger sometimes 'cos I liked it, and it was a symbol of my marriage to me even if it didn't look weddingy to anyone else

Why do you behave in such a way that people keep misunderstanding your intentions? Rather than buying any ring, maybe you should work a little on your body language and your communication skills?

You know, Nobody cares whether somebody is asexual, non-sexual, bisexual, heterosexual, quattro-sexual, micro-sexual, petro-sexual or even mono-sexual.

Even bringing it up as a reason WHY you dont fancy somebody just seems weird, and frankly sound like you are trying to cover up that in fact you are trying to pull, or fancy somebody. It is like Harry Potter trying to wear an invisibility cloak, only, that it is nothing like that at all. It is just weird and seems rather silly.