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AIBU?

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Original poster

to show I am asexual by wearing a black ring?

475 replies

asiatic · 16/02/2012 19:03

Lots of asexuals wear a black ring on their right middle finger. I'm thinking of getting one. What do you thinK? Have you ever seen anyone wearing one? How would you respond to a policeman, or bus driver or teacher advertising that they are asexual? I'm thinking it might be a helpful message to avoid misunderstandings, or is it something you don't really want to know about a stranger? Would it influence your perception of other aspects of them?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 16/02/2012 19:30

Would you not think that preserving a little mystery about yourself can go a long way?

What are you doing that results in men and women alike hitting on you or running away from you?

catgirl1976 · 16/02/2012 19:31

Mind you.....I have a new baby so there has been no sexy time for ages :(

Do I get a ring? I ought to get something

torchpaper · 16/02/2012 19:31

Why do people need to "announce" their sexuality whatever it may be? odd

ComposHat · 16/02/2012 19:35

Why do people need to "announce" their sexuality whatever it may be? odd

Do you consider wearing a wedding ring odd? Isn't that also a way of displaying one's sexual orientation and sexual status?

I don't have an issue with people using rings to display their sexual status, but don't think that the black ring is an effective way of doing it.

roundtable · 16/02/2012 19:37

Sue, you always crack me up! Grin

This is very bizarre.

I like purple a lot, if I decided to wear a purple nipple ring and flash it about, do you think people would know my favourite flavoured crisps are salt and vinegar?

catgirl1976 · 16/02/2012 19:37

aromantic crispy duck

mmmmmmmmmmmmm

torchpaper · 16/02/2012 19:37

composhat Dont gay people wear wedding rings then?

Feminine · 16/02/2012 19:37

OP I am straight and been married a loooog time, so might be out of touch.

But, when I didn't fancy someone , I just let them know. I didn't spend much time warding off advances either.

Would that still work these days?

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/02/2012 19:44

House had an asexual couple on it. Well, they were until Dr House sorted it and they got to the rumpy pumpy.

I find a "no thanks, I don't fancy you" works wonders with men, women and accompanied with a rolled up newspaper dogs.

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2012 19:46

Do you consider wearing a wedding ring odd? Isn't that also a way of displaying one's sexual orientation and sexual status?

No, my gay cousin wears a wedding ring and so does his Husband.

ComposHat · 16/02/2012 19:47

composhat Dont gay people wear wedding rings then?

Don't they tend to be silver?

Napdamnyou · 16/02/2012 19:47

Surely a black T shirt with 'I am asexual' would be easier.
And you could put 'so jog on' on the back.

Or make up some little button badges, or carry a bag with it written on. Just so everyone is clear.

I used to do something like this when I was fifteen and it was important to me that everyone knew that I liked The Cult, hated Thatcher and wanted to ban the bomb.

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2012 19:49

I've never heard of gay people wearing silver wedding rings in particular

Anyway, how would you tell them apart from white gold, which a lot of hetrosexual couples wear?

2rebecca · 16/02/2012 19:53

Have never heard of the black ring thing, sounds bonkers, just say no if you're lucky enough to be that irresistable. Alternatively wear a wedding ring, that's stopped anyone chatting me up, although being in my 40s helps as well.

PuraVida · 16/02/2012 19:53
misslinnet · 16/02/2012 19:53

I've never heard of this black ring thing.

If I see people wearing any ring that's not a wedding / engagement ring, I've always assumed they're just wearing it because they thnk it looks nice.

Rings (or other jewellery) advertising anything other than "I am married" would go right over my head.

The suggestion from Napdamnyou about a T-shirt or badge would be far more effective in helping you avoid misunderstandings.

ComposHat · 16/02/2012 19:56

I've never heard of gay people wearing silver wedding rings in particular

It may be a pre-civil partnership era thing. But a couple of gay couples I knew wore silver rings as signs of commitment.

torchpaper · 16/02/2012 19:56

People I know have gold, silver or whatever wedding rings whether gay or straight.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/02/2012 19:56

I have a platinum ring from Tiffany, stealth boast and I didn't think it was a particularly common 'gay' ring. Possibly more gay people are fancy and awesome like me wearing silver rings because they got married more recently and it is a current trend.

PuraVida · 16/02/2012 19:57

Hankerchief code???
Jesus!

torchpaper · 16/02/2012 19:58

I have friends who wear platimum rings (hetero)

Firawla · 16/02/2012 19:58

I never heard of this ring so would not have known what it meant if I saw someone with it but I don't see why everyone finds the idea so ridiculous it sounds quite logical to me so if you want to wear it then why not?

torchpaper · 16/02/2012 19:59

lol @platimum

SantieMaggie · 16/02/2012 20:00

I have no idea about signals like that so i probably give out signals all over the place!

2rebecca · 16/02/2012 20:04

My ring is platinum, not sure how a stranger would know it wasn't white gold, silver or stainless steel though. The women haven't been chatting me up either. I never look at people's hands, except blokes when I was single but as about 50% of blokes don't wear a wedding ring the abscence of a ring means nothing. If a bloke wore a black ring I'd think it was a style thing, and suspect for most people with black rings it is. Is the world full of people wearing black rings wondering why no-one ever chats them up?