to show I am asexual by wearing a black ring?

[asiatic]

Lots of asexuals wear a black ring on their right middle finger. I'm thinking of getting one. What do you thinK? Have you ever seen anyone wearing one? How would you respond to a policeman, or bus driver or teacher advertising that they are asexual? I'm thinking it might be a helpful message to avoid misunderstandings, or is it something you don't really want to know about a stranger? Would it influence your perception of other aspects of them?

Wasn't ment to be a rude question ?

Libido is driven by hormones .
If libido isn't present in an adult , then it's possibly an indicator of hormons being at wrong levels.

Sometimes it's an indicator of something seriously wrong.

Especially in a young person.

There's nothing rude with reminding people to look after their health .

... And no I haven't had mine checked recently ...but as I'm not ttc , and am fairly sure I'm knackered because of all the children I have ...I don't actually need to at the minute.

If I have no libido for months , never mind years , then I would get checked .

droves some people just aren't interested in sex, and don't see it as a problem.
It's different to previously having a 'sex drive' or 'libido', then losing it and missing it.

I don't think it's a problem ...just think its a good idea to make sure there is not an underlying medical reason for it .

That's all .

But the OP has never said there is an issue with her libido. She hasn't said that she doesn't experience sexual arousal. She has said that she has no interest in having sex with other people. It is a sexual orientation; libido is a separate issue.

droves it wouldn't matter if there was an underlying medical reason, if the person is otherwise healthy and doesn't perceive it as a problem. Having sex isn't essential for good health.

TBH, regardless of sexual (or asexual) orientation, people who take the offer of a cup of tea as some sort of sexual invitation are just sad.
They will make the same assumption whether you are single, married or asexual.

In the same way that having a ring on the finger doesn't necessarily make a person in a couple more committed.

Personally, I'd never think of asking someone else about a black ring, because I am/was not aware it even had any meaning.
It's not particularly odd, because lots of people wear rings of many kinds. So, I don't think it will attract particular attention.

IMO, it's only really useful to signal your sexual orientation to other asexuals, letting them know that you are "safe" or similar.

Not what I mean at all .

No one ever has to have sex ever if they don't want to .

As for it being essential for good health , I know it's not , I never said it was .

Just that it's unusual , and people who have no intrest in sex at all usually have hormone levels that are off for some reason or other .

If the ops levels were checked and the were ok , then she would know that she was truly an asexual person .

I think I'm struggling to get my point across .

Clothes stand , the op has said she doesn't feel any sexual desire .

Sexual desire = libido

None , not a zip.

I find this very strange.

The possibility of not finding one person ( male or female) sexually attractive post puberty is very unusual.
People have the right to not act on attractions , I respect that ..but to simply have none ever ?

Which is why I said I needed educated on this.

I get the impression that you've been hurt by one or 2 misunderstandings. I think it's important to know that this isn't your fault. It is not normal to think someone fancies you if they offer a cup of tea. It is not balanced, or a sign of good friendship to avoid a friend on the basis that they might fancy you.

If you want to wear a ring, you go ahead, but you don't have to, and it's not likely to stop someone who has an odd outlook on their relationships from behaving badly towards you.

I'm openly bisexual (married now, but wasn't always). I have never lost a friend or had issues with co-workers thinking that I want to jump their bones, and the bisexual stereotype has the worst rep for being oversexed. If it did happen, I would think they had a bit of an ego problem.

I agree with what future said.

From the point of view from a person who has had sex , offering cups of tea is never an indicator of wanting to jump into bed.

It's just tea , and sometime you even get a

If it helps, I was married, and not for long, when a work colleague (and one that had a girlfriend, who was a friend, and knew perfectly well that I was married) made a pass at me. Not a misunderstanding either.
No encouragement at all from my part.

So, creeps are everywhere. Brrr.

If a single person who doesn't know you are asexual tries to get closer just deal with it as anyone else who isn't attracted to the other person.
Unless you write it on your forehead I don't think a ring will make any difference, really.

I don't understand your point, Droves.

You seem to be suggesting that people who have low hormone levels are not truly asexual. I don't see what difference the cause of their asexuality is. If they are happy being asexual, why do they need to have their hormones checked?

Because the cause of hormones being off can rarely be something very serious.

I don't think op has to justify her orientation to anyone btw...but just make sure very things the way it should be in her own body.

But unless the OP feels ill she doesn't need to go to the GP. Having a different outlook on life doesn't mean you need to be drugged or brainwashed into being 'normal' just to make the mundanes accept you.

Right I'm going to post things that can cause low level hormones

Genetic conditions mostly men affected by these .

Meningitis

Tb

Head injury

Childhood stroke

Scarcodiosis

Histisitosis x

Tumours in the pituitary gland.

Do you understand now Cos ?

Some of these things go undetected and the person doesn't feel I'll until too late .

It's not a different out look that's the problem ...as long as someone is a consenting adult they can do or not do whatever they choose to within the limits of the law , sexually or otherwise .IMO.

It's not about being drugged or brainwashed ,by mundanes .

It's about knowing how the human body works.

I'm trying to understand Droves. I've googled it and found that rarely a change in libido can be caused by a serious medical condition. I'm trying to find research showing that continuously not having a sexual desire for other people is rarely caused by a serious medical condition, but haven't found it so far.

I also think that if a person experiences sexual arousal, but that arousal does not translate into sexual desire for another person it is hard to see how that is hormonal. If an asexual person, for example, masturbates every day, it is hard to see how their lack of sexual desire for somebody else can be a hormone problem. It seems to me that all these things written about libido come from the false starting point that sexual arousal and sexual desire for other people are one and the same thing.

Tumours in the pituitary gland.

Yup.
My sister has those. She does not feel ill at all. They were discovered during a routine health check. Her metabolism was always high and she could eat like there was no tomorrow and never put on weight. Cravings for fish (iodine). Somehow it is all connected with the tumors. But she does not feel ill. She just thought she was lucky to not put on weight, and had a serious love for fish!

In answer only to the OP and not the 10 page I do not have time to read :

I'd just think you had a bad taste in rings - sorry. No other meaning would occur to me

Childhood strokes can cause scarring in pituitary gland , which could lead to low hormones ...which would mean no big hormone surge during puberty as expected ... The person would naturally have little or no sexual intrest ...but this could also mean they would be predisposed to have strokes in adulthood ...

The op has said they have no sexual desire ... Did not mention DIY sex .

I see you think sexual arousal and sexual desire as two different things . I tend to think you can't get one without the other .

Quintessentiallyhollow I'm so sorry about your sister .

I hope she recovers .

Thanks droves, it is kept in check, so she is fine. But the doctors are keeping a close eye on her.

- for you and your sister -

So basically you think that many asexual people are liars? You think that people who experience sexual arousal and want to masturbate but do not find other people sexually attractive or feel sexual desire for others are making it up?

Otherwise what do you mean when you say that there can't be sexual arousal without sexual desire?

I find it totally bizarre that you feel your drop in libido doesn't require medical attention but the consistent lack of libido of an asexual person does. How is the latter statistically more likely to be a medical problem than the former?