to show I am asexual by wearing a black ring?

[asiatic]

Lots of asexuals wear a black ring on their right middle finger. I'm thinking of getting one. What do you thinK? Have you ever seen anyone wearing one? How would you respond to a policeman, or bus driver or teacher advertising that they are asexual? I'm thinking it might be a helpful message to avoid misunderstandings, or is it something you don't really want to know about a stranger? Would it influence your perception of other aspects of them?

Look at the soaps, the red tops, the magazines, all full of who's doing who and how

REALLY bad example, some people (read many many many people) don't give a flying fuck about this shit either.

And it seems that a stuffed dog in the back window of a car or the dashboard means...

It brings the Churchill's ads to a whole new light.

:o

Sorry. :-)

But to the OP, I think the point is that such signs are just that signs. It doesn't make your preferences more real.
And they are not likely to mean much to people outside of the "group".

In any case, if you are asexual, doesn't it mean that you can form loving relationships but without sex?

" I don't think the sexual element, rope bondage, for example, is something we are expected to acknowledge"

It is if someone tells you about it! Which was what I was talking about.

"Look at the soaps, the red tops, the magazines, all full of who's doing who and how

REALLY bad example, some people (read many many many people) don't give a flying fuck about this shit either."

Seriosuly? The red tops are the best selling papers, the sleb and gossip mags sell in shedloads. Many people still keep their sexuality concealed for work (most obvious examples being film stars and politicians) and people are sacked for their sexual behaviour. Footballers and other wealthy people take out injunctions to stop others finding out about their sexual pecadillos because they will be printed and people will talk about it and read it.

I am finding the defence of the great british public very touching here but wildly misplaced.

All of the offices I have worked in have been awash with gossip, especially after the christmas parties.

I cannot believe that is unusual

The soaps are the progs most watched on telly aren't they?

I'm in one of those MN parallell universes again aren't I!

I imagine people who read red tops are the folk you see on Jeremy Kyle and therefore what they think doesn't count.

If somebody started telling me about rope bondage for no good reason, I might think they were being rude (depending on who it was and when it happened), and I might attempt to avoid getting into a conversation about it.

It is very different to avoiding conversation about somebody's partner, which would be rude. It is also very different to somebody talking about their interest in hill walking or Star Wars.

Maybe it's just me then

People are always telling me their personal stuff I have no idea why. One particularly memorable occasion when I was at my old proper job, giving a seminar to a bunch of people from other companies, one of the women started telling me across the buffet lunch table in front of everyone, about how she had been shagging one of her colleagues and her husband had left her over it. Very strange.

I was torn between trying to change the subject as I could see everyone earwigging, agog, and eating my lunch. It was a quandry as I was really hungry and they had the mini wrap things with prawns in.

It isn't just you. There is lots of gossip about sexual carrying on as well as romantic relationships.

I think if an actor was asexual, they would have to keep quiet about it, or risk not getting various jobs. It is assumed that youngish (under 50) people in relationships are having sex, and certainly frequent outrage on here if somebody says they are in a relationship and don't want sex. So there is privilege at work.

Of course that was an unrepresentative sample of the great british public. Most people wouldn't be even slightly interested in a woman they worked with suddenly launching into one, in a completely inappropriate situation, about how they were shagging someone else they worked with.

I don't know whether to or !

Not gossip, clothes. People tell me stuff about themselves. All the time. I could do without it TBH!

Well yes, there's both!

what does asexual mean ?

In this context, it means somebody who doesn't have any desire to have sexual activity with another person, but may or may not want to have romantic relationships.

It means you wear a black ring on your middle finger

I think if an actor was asexual, they would have to keep quiet about it, or risk not getting various jobs.

Yeah, much better if they have kids with their housekeepers, or are caught with a street performer doing oral sex on them, for example.

How about wearing a black ring on the wedding finger? I think that would be more likely to be noticed and remarked upon than if worn on the middle finger.

Then you would have an opportunity to explain why you wear a black ring.

I probably wouldn't notice. I'm not into jewellry and I never look at other people's hands to determine their marital status.
I can also think of few things that interest me less than what other people do with their genitals [assuming it's with consenting adults of course].

Thank you for all your responses, there are too many to reply to everything. Vicarinatutu, gamerwidow, sardinequeen,compochel, clothesofsand, and several others, your contributions have been very helpful.

To the poster who asked if this was a religeous decision ( sorry, I can't find your post to get your name now) No, it is a sexual orientation. As far as I know, I was born like this, I don't feel sexual desire. Thank you for taking an interest and asking . Another poster said it must be like if you are a straight woman, and never feel any attraction to another woman, except you feel like that to men too, yes, I think that sums it up, exactly, for me.

Yes, to the poster who asked, I can feel romantic attraction, however, I wouldn't bother to have even a romantic relationship, too time consuming, and I have very little motivation.

I think after reading all these responses, I have decided to buy my ring. I think it might be a good idea if only to increase awarness. I'm not young, but it would be nice to think I had contributed to greater understanding and acceptance for those asexuals who are young now, and in the future. It can feek very odd, if every book/film/song tells you you are the only one in the world. actually there are millions of us!

No, I haven't lost a huge number of tfriends through misunderstandings, but good friends are not something to lose easily. Also, the ring, and any conversations it triggers, may prevent the other , actually more common problem, married or single work colleagues ( male!) who think "I'm just making mysekf a cup of tea, would you like one" is some sort of secret flirt code. It would be nice just to be my normal friendly self, without worrying about being misread.

I like phantomPaynes idea of a black ring on the ring finger instead, that mightbe a tgood idea. I'll have to think about that.

Have you had your hormone level checked ?

Would be interesting to find out if you have normal hormone levels or not .

People with not the right levels tend to have no libido.

Or have you just not met anyone that sets you off iykwim ? .

Currently I'm about as Intrested in sex as I am in having conversations with trout....but that's because I'm knackered. Doesn't make Asexual.

Don't understand this tbh.

What's the difference to being cellibate ? .(spelling , sorry)

I need educated on this .

Not exactly sure what you mean by asexual, explain?

Oh I see. Yes I think its a good idea.

Droves, have you had your hormone levels checked?

What a rude question.