Violent little cow at school. How do I deal with this without making it worse for DS

[Annoyed79]

So this horrible little bitch (sorry, but yeah - she is) has been routinely hitting my son since he started secondary school. Not to mention continuously humiliating him, turning people against him, breaking his belongings etc. Yesterday an argument erupted at school which she took to facebook calling him a "dyspraxic riddled cunt", buck toothed bastard, ugly retard etc etc telling him he'll never have friends, never get a job, never get a girlfriend - the list went on. All this very public on his facebook wall. Along with this she issued a number of violent threats. Now - today she came up behind him and punched him hard in the head. I am absolutely fucking livid. What's worse is the school is shut, teacher training day tomorrow and then a weeks half term holiday.

I cannot just let this go. How do I deal with it without making it worse for DS? She has the majority of the school on her side and I know that if I get the police involved it will flare up for him even more.

What do I do??

Inform the police AND move schools.

rhondajean - seriously??

Glad to hear the Police are involved I hope they help. And that he's moving schools. Poor lad

Not at aged 13 I don't think mrsdv

It's the Malicious Communications Act 1988 iirc that those Facebook posts are in breach of.

I echo what Boffinmum said. She posts sound advice.

As an aside do you and your ds know about CEOP (Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre)? ceop.police.uk/

This is the 11-16 year old section of their site. They have lots of advice about online bullying www.thinkuknow.co.uk/11_16/

hth

don't need to press shift and print screen - just print screen and paste it into word/paint etc

Bejeezus, are you sure? I thought it did involve getting a criminal record at age 13, but I may be wrong.

Yes seriously.

I agree the actions she has carried out are awful and op has a right to say what she feels as its her son and she's emotionally involved but the rest of us as a group of adults surely have no need to talk like that about a thirteen year old child.

Thanks Cricket - you've brought me up to the 21st century!
(am old)

Seriously Annoyed - try this, it'll keep your eveidence

You can also paste a screen print into an email, email it to yourself then you have proof of date and time you accessed it.

isnt it a bloody joke though that the poor victim is the one made to move schools and leave early and do all the moving and the bloody bully gets away with it all

it makes me so mad, a good hiding would do this madam the world of good imo!

Poor boy, good advice on thread, nothing to add except I hope he can be happier now.

I know I am not going to be popular, but....

First of all, collect all the evidence you can & block her. I really don't know why you haven't done this so far. You have been instrumental in your son's bullying by keeping her on his friends list, I am sorry if that is harsh, but you have. You have left him, as a victim, at the mercy of a bully,

Sod all this "keeping an eye on what she says [on her wall]" (you can do that in other ways) get her off his list. This is 101 of facebook & am shocked that it hasn't been done yet!

IKWYM feedme but in this case it would be better to get her DS out of the school if this girl has alot of influence on the other pupils.

He can have a fresh start away from all these pupils.

Though unfortunately, she'll get herself a new 'target' (unless the police /school rollicking does the job) or she'll get sent to another school to start again.And if a schoolchild is expelled, how much information does the new school get, or is allowed to let the other pupils/parents know.
She might be better staying put and keeping an eye on. Restrict all her school privilidges.

If it was my DS, I'd want him out of there.

No, I'm not sure at all

I say it based on my friends daughters experience. She was subject to threats of violence against her family and home. She did infact break three Windows of the house and assaulted her mum. I don't think she wad ever even prosecuted for that! She eventually went to juvenille detention for stabbing someone!

But, it is only 1 case

I think OPs dc needs a clean break. This will take ages to process and turn around-clecting evidence and wot not. And even if the girl is expelled, it will leave aegacy for the boy I think.

I WOULD go to the police, but I wouldn't wait for them or the school to make this ok

Do you know where she lives? I would go and see her parents also

I wouldn't recommend going to see her parents yourself. As the police are now involved this could complicate matters enormously, especially if things descend into a slanging match or even assault (after all, her behaviour has to originate somewhere).

Did the police come out tonight?

No, really, you never want to have anything to do with the parents of a bully.

They are not going to admit fault. Perish the thought.

coraltoes (and others) I have very little sympathy if any for bullies but this girl is a CHILD. She is a kid who has definitely lost her way and done some terrible things but still just a child so I don't think its appropriate for a forum of adults to be so abusive about her online - after all isn't that just what she has been doing on Facebook??

I'm not that knowledgable about IT but, when we do PSHE sessions and stuff about cyber bullying and other internet safety stuff at school wel always stress that delete does not mean delete where the internet is concerned and that comments remain saved somewhere and can be found by schools and police if necessary. I don't know whether that is just a scare tactic or if it's true but it might be worth a try. The more evidence that you can collect the better.

I agree with rhondajean that it's pretty distasteful to call a 13 year old girl names (apart from the OP, where it is totally understandable!). She's just a child and prbably a very mixed up one. I dealt with an awful case of cyber bullying from a popular girl to a sensitive little boy last year. She sent him video footage of her pretending to beat him up and stating that she would be waiting for him at school. Awful awful behaviour and she fully deserved and needed her suspension and police warning. But she was an insecure and often very nice little girl whose mother was dead and lived in a large and chaotic blended family.

When a girl this young is that mean there is very likely to be something behind the behaviour. It doesn't excuse it but it explains it. No child is evil.

I agree that approaching the parents would be unhelpful but I wouldn't be so certain that they won't care. The parents of the girl in my example were horrified and mortified. The girl lost all her access to phones and computers for a year!

Not worth the risk, IMO, however, wrt the parents.

I can't add anything else sorry, but i am so angry on you and your poor DS's behalf. I really hope your DS can get into a much better school and will be happier. Good luck.