Violent little cow at school. How do I deal with this without making it worse for DS

[Annoyed79]

So this horrible little bitch (sorry, but yeah - she is) has been routinely hitting my son since he started secondary school. Not to mention continuously humiliating him, turning people against him, breaking his belongings etc. Yesterday an argument erupted at school which she took to facebook calling him a "dyspraxic riddled cunt", buck toothed bastard, ugly retard etc etc telling him he'll never have friends, never get a job, never get a girlfriend - the list went on. All this very public on his facebook wall. Along with this she issued a number of violent threats. Now - today she came up behind him and punched him hard in the head. I am absolutely fucking livid. What's worse is the school is shut, teacher training day tomorrow and then a weeks half term holiday.

I cannot just let this go. How do I deal with it without making it worse for DS? She has the majority of the school on her side and I know that if I get the police involved it will flare up for him even more.

What do I do??

My printer isn't working (typical!) I can show them on my laptop when they get here but that isn't going to be enough is it?

Can you photograph the screen or wouldn't that work?

You can take screen grabs of the relevant pages and email them to the relevant officers.

Please tell your son that people only do this type of thing and treat other people that way because they are very unhappy themselves.

It won't help him just now but it might when he thinks about it in the future.

Well, at least the police can verify that it's there. Try to get them to note down the worst bits.

And do your damnedest to get to a printer asap. Can a neighbour help? Can the police run out copies somehow? Really important.

Email! Of course.

God how awful for you and your DS. I'm no techno wizard, but is it possible to re-visit the pages through your computer's History? Would be such a shame if the little bitch other child didn't get everything she deserved. As it's such violent language the police may know how to find it off your computer anyway?

I wish I could be more help, and I hope your DS is able to get a fresh start. Poor little chap.

It is a shame you have lost some. Hope it can be retrieved.

Hope your poor son will be ok and the police get that evil child. Would you consider home education, even as a stop-gap? It would mean that you could pull him out of school immediately, even without another school to go to. There is a home ed forum on here if you want any advice.

Sounds ghastly. Your poor son. I would write to the school and send the letter by email and recorded post so they can't say it never arrived. I would set out exactly what has happened, how your son feels, how you feel, the fact you have reported it to the police. I would also make it crystal clear that your ds will not return until the school has provided you with an action plan in relation to the safety of your ds and make it very clear that you regard this is assault and if they do nothing about it and nothing to protect your son you will regard it as a failure to keep your son safe. I would also say that if they have not contacted you within five working days with an acceptable action plan that you will be escalating the matter to the chair of governors and the local authority. The first person to leave school should be the perpetrator of the violence - after that you should be able to make a rational decision about whether your son should stay or go.

In your printer options is there something like "Document writer" or "PDF"? If so, use this to get the file saved so you can print it off later, before she deletes anything else.

Printer options are under Print... then if you click on your normal printer name, you should get a drop-down list.

What a nasty little bitch. My heart is breaking for your poor DS. I have nothing else to add other than be strong and good luck.

Oh God, your poor poor DS. What a horrible time for him (and you). :(

I just wanted to say I really hope you find a good resolution to this and that your DS can be happy in a new school.

Best wishes. :)

Awful. I was bullied through school as well. It was hell. Glad the Police are taking it seriously and that he will change schools.

Annoyed if you give your DS PC/Laptop to the police they will be able to retrieve the deleted posts I'm sure. They have IT people who go through PCs for evidence.

I'm sure your DS would benefit in a complete change of school. How can the school guarentee his safety even if he is let out early. He'll still see her at school.

Can I also add- your DS is damned lucky to have a mum like you to fight his corner. I know he's going through Hell on Earth, but when it's sorted he'll know you were there every inch of the way.

Which is probably more than that girl would have.

I'm sure that the department for education policy is that the BULLY should be moved. I would start by insisting that this is what happens. She may well stop if she thinks it is her life that will get turned upside down. Make LOTS and lots of noise about this, it has to stop.

One of my family has been terribly bullied and it is heartbreaking.

Good luck (sad)

You CAN retrieve them - just contact FB and ask them to get the info for you or ask te police to contact FB for it (they may need it to be the police) as even if she has deleted some FB will be able to find it?

I hope she shits her pants - she sounds vile and needs to be taught by the police that her actions have consequences.

I agree that you should insist to the lea that they move him. I would also move for her expulsion (although not a move to your ds's new school!) so she has another lesson about how her actions have consequences. Does the school know? Why haven't they expelled her by now?!

Get FB to delete her account too. Another lesson for her.

Good luck op. nothing to add other than I hope she shits herself when the police show up. I cannot believe how vile she is. She has a long life ahead with a lot of karma heading her way.

Report it to Facebook as well now.

We are in a slightly different area in the UK but here after the Police have been called a schools liaison officer would deal with the school. The Police should be able to interview the girl more on a fishing trip to see if she'll admit anything, of course she could admit it but then say that she posted in reply to something your son had posted etc. The Police can apply for a TLU order (Telecommunications Liaison something) to have a record of all conversations but usually these can be very difficult to get granted.

Unfortunately with regard to the Facebook posts, if the girl claims that she didn't post on Facebook and her account has been hacked, it can be very hard to prove.

I am usually of the mindset that negotiation is the way forward, but she sounds a right piece of work. This is what I would do in your position.

1. Create a table in Word with three columns. Left column, date of incident. Middle column, description of incident. Right hand column, any action taken by your son, yourself, or school. Approximate dates will do if necessary, but you need to create some sort of chronology.

1. Make an appointment to see the head teacher immediately, holiday or no holiday, say your son has been assaulted, that you are pressing charges, and take the table with you. Give the head teacher a copy. Tell the head teacher you would like immediate action to ensure your son's safety and wellbeing on school premises, which would most likely be excluding the girl from school until it has all been investigated, with the possibility of permament exclusion later on depending on the outcome.

1. If the head teacher starts waffling on about getting the bully and your son in the same room to talk things over, cut him/her off and repeat that it is now a police matter, your son has been assaulted, and that your son's need for safety and wellbeing at school are more important than the feelings of the bully. Repeat until you get what you want.

1. Follow up with a record of the meeting in writing. Give the head teacher time to put things right, but if you aren't satisfied, contact the Director of Education at the Local Authority (if it's a maintained school) and send copies of all the paperwork. If it's an academy, contact the Chair of Governors or similar and similarly send the paperwork.

1. If your son needs to move schools, pick the best school in the area for your son and insist of being given a place immediately, or else threaten legal action.

Hope that helps.

IME police are a bit useless. The girl I am thinking of was really feral and so not at all influenced by police cautions. There is not much they can do beyond that due to her age I think.

I would move your son to another school

Do you think we could perhaps refrain from calling a thirteen year old girl names???????

She could get a criminal record, as malicious emails/texting is against the law.

Annoyed79 - to do a screen grab, or to take a copy of what you're seeing on the screen all you have to do is:

Get the screen up you want to take a copy of
Press shift and Print Sc (Print Screen button, usually up in the top right hand corner of the keyboard)
Then save the image somewhere, say, where you save your photos

Then you've captured it for ever and can print it out whenever. You can also back it up on a memory stick.

Hope this helps
Sorry to hear about what's been happening

(sorry if this appears twice, is doing a lot on flippin MN of late)