to think it is unacceptable to leave a 12 year old and 9 year old home alone with a 12 month old baby

[PinkElephant73]

It is half term this week and someone I know went out during the day, leaving their 2 older children age 9 and 12 alone with their 12 month old baby sibling who was asleep having a nap while the parent was out. The parent was out on 2 separate occasions for a period of about 30 minutes, but says they were no more than 10 minutes from home either time and the older children could have contacted them on their mobile phone if there was a problem. They do not seem to think there is anything to worry about with the above scenario.

Is it just me or is this totally irresponsible? what would you do if this was your friend?

But a nannie or family member has to be over 16, no?

Ok, simply put, older siblings have alwayd looked after younger ones. No doubt they always will. If you don't like that, don't do it. Now, what else is there to say, really?

Well, i would like to understand why people think it is ok to have an under 16yr old to look after children under the name of 'babysitting', but if you were to pay someone to look after your child, or use a regular family member/nannie, they have to be over 16 years old?

Why is that ok?
Surely if you have to use an adult to look after your children the rest of the time, then why not all of the time?

Why not all the time? Well that's exploitation, illegal in terms of hours children can work, and might be a bit inconveneint school-wise

But in terms of ability, actually I think a lot of 12 and 13 year olds with baby sillings are more than capable of looking after a baby for a day.

OTTMummA - looking after a baby for 30 minutes is pretty easy (especially if they are asleep). Looking after a baby for 10 hours is rather more difficult, boring and stressful. Just like, you might ask a child to wash your car - but you wouldn't send them to work full time at a car wash.

comparing minding a baby to washing a car?

complusory education - such an inconvenience.

But people use babysitters under 16yrs old at night time, from say 6-7pm, to midnight etc, that isn't uncommon, is it? i did it a lot.
I am aware of child labour laws, but why is it ok to use a child to babysit overnight?
Young children wake up, things still can and do go wrong at night.

Because thats called real life, OTTMummA? Things are different depending on context. Its like saying, well if its ok to let your kids have chocolate sometimes, why can't they have it for breakfast lunch and dinner.

If you want a baby minded full time, you get an adult minder, possibly qualified, possibly registered. If you want to pop out for a bit, you don't need to interview and hire a nanny, you can let a sibling do it.

You can't possibly really be struggling to understand that, surely?

I think it's absolutely acceptable for short periods of time. I think op should leave the family to decide what's best for them.

I'm confused - when did we start discussing a 12 yo looking after a baby overnight?

we didn't.

same, we didn't.

Oh good - just OTTMummA then!

It's all "ok"ish unless an accident did happen in which case the parent in charge would possibly be in trouble. So if all is well then no harm done but something I would avoid in future and it certainly wouldn't be a regular thing....

Ok, lets get pedantic then, people use under 16yr olds to babysit during the day times aswell, during school holidays etc, but my own personal experience was baysitting overnight, which is longer stretches than 30 mins, to me its the same thing, the situation is the same, a child looking after another child.

I genuinely do not understand why it is reasonable to let a child look after a child alone, especially when it can be easily prevented, for any length of time.

Because we as parents have decided its ok. Why is that not enough for you?

Oh, fo fuck's sake! If you've brought up a 12 year old who isn't capable of looking after a 12 month old awake never mind asleep then you've got bigger problems than your dh leaving them alone while he went for a run!

LOL seeker. Tell us what you think, why don't you!

Well, honestly!!!!!

At some point, you got to let kids have some responsibility. A 12 yr-old looking after a nine and sleeping 1 year-old for 30 minutes is doable.

And seeker has a very good point.

I agree. I am in the "it's fine" camp. Haven't done it for more than a 5 min trip to the shop yet (I have a 12 and 2 year old), but I will.

I agree with seeker [and lots of other posters]. When I was growing up this sort of thing was perfectly normal behaviour and no one even commented on it. Looking after younger siblings was expected from older children [especially girls] and often for a lot longer than 30 minutes.

If you think its unacceptable, don't do it. But what other people do really is their business.