To just want to give parenting the fuck up sometimes?

[PamPerdbrat]

Weekend from HELL. I cannot wait for nursery drop off tomorrow. DS is 16mo and will not stop whinging, fighting sleep, crying, moaning. DH and I are completely on our own and I have fucking had it today.

No temp, not ill.., just grumpy as fuck.

AAAARGH! What made me stupid enough to become a parent, and arrogant enough to think I could do it?!

Pam bad days come to us all. Don't blame you at all for looking forward to tomorrow. One day at a time. Be nice to yourselves tonight. It's not you, it's just one of those things.

We all feel like that sometimes. It's hard on your own with no support network.

He's BELLOWING in his cot. We are both exhausted, seething. If I go up there I'll just cry. We can't seem to do anything right for him today!

THis too will pass. Honestly it will. DS is probably afflicted by teeth or a minor virus, both of which will depart. Small children are both adorable and utterly hell.

Would it help you to know mine are 11 and eight and have just (with some help from their father) cooked supper? I know that seems about seventy years away to you at the moment but really, just hang on in there.

of course, but maybe later! Also, it'll be better tomorrow, (and much better in 5 years!), I promise. I'm sure you're a great parent.

It almost makes me scream when people ask me when I'm going to have another one. Are they fucking joking?!

The best thing to do if you are stressed is step away from hm for a bit. Yes he will cry but you may well snap. Some time out won't kill either of you.

I know EXACTLY how you feel. Everyone does. Just yesterday mid teething crying fit I remembered a holiday DH and I had in Malaysia, the teo of us, cocktails, sunsets, private dinners, and felt like I might die inside when I realised what life was in that precise moment in comparison! Yet today dd has babbled and chased the cats and gobbled a plateful of pasta with gusto which has made my heart surge in a way it never knew before. Stick with it, you'll come through the other sided singing.

And there is always wine...

Oh yes if parenting was a job I'd have handed in my notice long ago : o. Creep in to his room tonight when he's sleeping and wake him up with a klaxon gaze at has sweet little sleeping face. This is a fail safe for refilling the vats of endless patience, kindness and love required to be a mother.

We're taking it in turns going up every 10 minutes, shushing etc.

It's the best we can do right now.

Don't have another if you don't want. They're not compulsory, darling. And seriously, I think everyone has phases they find incredibly difficult. The good thing is you won't be looking back to this as a golden time when confronted with mouthy 11 year olds (I can't speak for teenagers!). My two are so much nicer now.

Honestly, if it was acceptable i would totally just give up right now. Sometimes when it's like this, the only thing stopping me from giving him to SS or something is social responsibility.

Sadly - children dont come with a manual, nor a remote control. sigh

How's DP coping? Could you go out for a walk and leave him to it?

truth I think we're both a bit fucked tbh. Once every few months, we reach this point where it's just shit for a few days.

Sorry, that suggests you're not coping. You clearly are. You've just had a bad day/week/month. I just meant that a walk may help you relax. You're really not alone. I don't know any parents who don't feel that way from time to time.

When my two were slightly bigger I posted on MN asking if anyone else felt as if they were swimming uphill through custard. I used to look at newly pregnant colleagues and just about repress the urge to point out they had ruined their lives.

The thing is, you are actually doing really, really well in the circumstances. You are getting through, and he will eventually drop off, and tomorrow nursery can take from you that crushing weight of responsibility, and you can focus on something else, and time will - really it will -pass.

Any friends who could sit with him for a bit while you both go get some fresh air? I know it's hard to ask for help in RL, but I find that when you actually say 'i'm struggling, help' then friends are quick to offer

DH's turn. He's going to back it up with some calpol just in case.

mother that's exactly how it feels. All in all; I am enjoying this stage more than I have any other so far. Its just when it starts fucking up; it feels like we're back to the beginning again.

truth I think we're both a bit fucked tbh. Once every few months, we reach this point where it's just shit for a few days.

I remember that - we had 3 under 5, both worked full time, parents dead, siblings abroad - it was bloody hard going. Thats why we've always been precious about "me" time - I send him off playing golf, I go to my mates for ht w/end.

You do need that time away from kids.

Can I also suggest a dose of calpol - it might be something is bothering him that he can't tell you about - ie molars coming, the early symptoms of a cold. A one off dose of paracetamol won't hurt him and may help him drop off.

It is hard. It is particularly hard if - like many of us - you have no backup, no family around (I don't get on madly well with my family but ykiwm) and no babysitting infrastructure. Which also improves as they get bigger, for all sorts of reasons.

Do ask friends. Friends are nice.

Does it help to know we're all assuring you that we've felt like that?