Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just want to give parenting the fuck up sometimes?

150 replies

PamPerdbrat · 12/02/2012 18:21

Weekend from HELL. I cannot wait for nursery drop off tomorrow. DS is 16mo and will not stop whinging, fighting sleep, crying, moaning. DH and I are completely on our own and I have fucking had it today.

No temp, not ill.., just grumpy as fuck.

AAAARGH! What made me stupid enough to become a parent, and arrogant enough to think I could do it?!

OP posts:
fullofregrets · 12/02/2012 19:25

Yes, I sympathise. Im never having another one. Not sure where this 'it is the best job in the world' comes from, it's horrific! When anyone tells me they're pregnant I'm never sure whether to say congratulations or never mind.

Just remember this too shall pass. It is the only thing that keeps me going somedays. And as they get older they do improve, first year of DS's life was hands down the most miserable I've ever been, made worse by everyone expecting me to be thrilled. Now he is just over two and a half and loads more fun and just more enjoyable.

Original poster
PamPerdbrat · 12/02/2012 19:26

gaviscon laughing at why iPods were invented Grin

OP posts:
GavisconJunkie · 12/02/2012 19:27

See now, mine wouldn't go loud enough!

Original poster
PamPerdbrat · 12/02/2012 19:27

full oh yes; it's better all the time. Honestly, I enjoy him at this stage now more than at any given point during the first 10 months or so! So I know time makes it easier, it's just hard to remember that.

OP posts:
StetsonsAreCool · 12/02/2012 19:30

Oh god, I know exactly how you feel. You sound like me before Christmas. I honestly thought I had late-onset PND at one point, I just couldn't imagine how anything was going to get better or easier.

Between 15 and 19 months I felt on the edge of despair every day.

I've noticed in the last few days that it has been easier for a few weeks. She 20mo now, and easier to understand and less prone to tantrums as a result.

You'll get there. Just keep doing what you're doing. Take it in turns. One hour at a time if it helps you get through it.

motherinferior · 12/02/2012 19:36

Also, I am now playing REALLY LOUD country music Grin in pure revenge for all those years...cos after all he's just a may-ann...

Original poster
PamPerdbrat · 12/02/2012 19:46

He's up again Hmm teeth then maybe? I don't bloody know.

OP posts:
Kveta · 12/02/2012 19:53

has he had calpol? you can also give nurofen for kids with calpol, which tends to knock any pain on the head.

worth getting the millpond teach your child to sleep book too, it's great. helped us a lot.

MissMarjoribanks · 12/02/2012 19:53

I could have written your post Pam, apart from my DS is 2.2. DH went out at 2.30 and won't be back till 10 and DS and I both ended up crying on the floor in the living room. He then refused to eat his tea and tantrumed himself almost to the point of being sick when we did bath and bedtime. Thankfully he knackered himself and went off to sleep quickly.

He's an absolute delight for his father, of course, which makes me feel all the more shit about it.

It's still easier, most of the time, than the first year. He was lovely between 18 and 20 months, then it went back down hill again.

My DH wants another one and I really don't. I wish someone would tell him they're not compulsory. It's just another reason I feel I'm letting everyone down.

issimma · 12/02/2012 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fullofregrets · 12/02/2012 20:14

I actually think it is fairly common to feel like 'what the hell happened to my life? Is this it?!' But it is still taboo to admit it irl. Instead we have to say how wonderful it all is. Everyone kept telling me to make the most of the early days as they are so precious and go so quickly. I thought ' they can't go quickly enough!'

It is so much better when they can tell you what is wrong and you don't have to guess. I definitely wasnt keen on the new baby or small toddler stage.

HappySeven · 12/02/2012 20:14

I really feel for anyone finding it tough with a toddler. I loved my DS but I really didn't enjoy our time together and only had another (4 year gap) because I didn't want him to be on his own and so he could share the decision of which old people's home to put me in Smile.

It's been REALLY different this time. Now I know why people had another baby! She's still tough and as we hit the terrible twos I'm finding it hard some days but he's very funny and great company and between the two of them they keep me smiling (most days!)

Pam, it could be he's teething - molars aren't funny when they come through - so I'd go for the Nurofen if he hasn't had it already. And an extra glass of wine for yourself.

Please be kind to yourself, MissMarjori. I reckon you're a lot better at this parenting malarkey than you give yourself credit for.

cocoachannel · 12/02/2012 20:16

Pam I too am looking forward to nursery drop off tomorrow. DD has whined all day, refused any food (she's 11mths), spat out finger food, stood clinging to me to be picked up, then whined to go down again and generally been a PITA.

She's asleep now, but I dare say she'll be up hungry just as DH and I crawl into bed.

OAM2009 · 12/02/2012 20:23

Even worse than no manual or remote control, there's no bloody mute button and the buggers are always on full volume! Wink

We've been there too and it's always worse in the evenings when you've already done the day shift and don't need it to turn into 24-hour parenting! Feel a bit late to the party here and haven't got much more to add than what's already been said but everyone has bad days like this and it will get better Smile

Good luck and enjoy the break tomorrow!

WMDinthekitchen · 12/02/2012 20:26

DD 17 has at times driven me to distraction but, having heard me talk a lot about pandas, she took me to see the two in the zoo for my Christmas present. Don't like zoos but it was magic. She used to throw the most dreadful tantrums, even at the age of 9 but now restricts herself to the occasional hair tossing. She will leave home in September and it will be strange to be without her. When she was three she kicked a hole in a kitchen cupboard door in sheer temper! The exhaustion passes and there will be fun times, honestly!

Maryz · 12/02/2012 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrinityRhino · 12/02/2012 20:38

I have felt like you have posted

many time
dh died and my 3 girls were constant, 2, 4 and 9

it was horrendous, there was definitely times that the one thing stopping me from walking away was because they could come to harm

hope you're coming through it, breathe and change the routine maybe

sometimes just doing something random can break the AAARRRGGGGHHH

my epiphany and first time I did this was telling them we were going to be peppa pig (we had HUGE potholes all up our lane and it had been raining loads)

we got dressed up warmly, put on wellies and spent ten mintues getting UTTERLY FUCKING soaking wet and muddy all the way up to our faces, jumping like buggery in muddy puddles and laughing and laughing

stripped them off at the back door, chucked it all in the wash, ran a bath....moood different

I know with your 16 month its far harder and I cant think of something that is similar but Smile

Original poster
PamPerdbrat · 12/02/2012 20:42

MaryZ yep! That's the point isn't it!

He's up moaning again... Given some nurofen this time and he allowed DH to put teething gel right at the back of his mouth... So I'm actually starting to wonder if it's teeth now?

He's normally a 14 hours + a night boy, with a long midday nap. He looked exhausted when we went up Sad

He is normally patient and lovely; times like this therefore seem so much worse because he is so brilliant.

OP posts:
motherinferior · 12/02/2012 20:43

O my loves: grit your teeth. This too will pass.

Original poster
PamPerdbrat · 12/02/2012 20:43

Oh Trinity. I am suitably ashamed for moaning now Sad

OP posts:
TrinityRhino · 12/02/2012 20:46

oh shit, I'm sorry

I so did not mean to make you feel bad

I just meant I really do know how you feel, I've felt like it

Its fucking hideous to feel like that

I'm sorry I was trying to be supportive and it didn't work

erm, it sounds like teeth to me, very hard teething is

makes them a complete different person and its tortuous

Smile
Original poster
PamPerdbrat · 12/02/2012 20:47

He is more patient than me most days. My joy, he is. He's going to be a better person than I am, I know it. And I'm glad of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
PamPerdbrat · 12/02/2012 20:48

No trinity in a nice way. Fuck, at least I've got my DH!

OP posts:
HappySeven · 12/02/2012 20:48

I'm loving the potholes idea!

On a tough summer's day with my then 3 year old I bought two water pistols and we went to the park and chased each other shooting. I was a better shot than him, he had a great time and we both felt better afterwards. Smile

LiegeAndLief · 12/02/2012 20:58

Listen to and know that you are not alone. I showed it to a friend the other day - she looked horrified and I was a bit worried she would think I was an awful mother for empathising, but then she admitted she was horrified because it was so true and she had felt exactly the same.

Seriously though, does sound like teeth or sickening for something. I really hope the Calpol works and you get a bit of a break this evening.