to be fuming at my DSis and her sodding wedding?

[MsIngaFewmarbles]

DSis has been looking at venues for her wedding for next year, asking advice and generally being very excited about it all, revving my 3 DDs into an orgy of excitement over being bridesmaids. Fine, no problem, I'm thrilled that she has found the right person and love a nice wedding.

She TEXT me tonight telling me that they have now decided (and have booked) a wedding abroad instead. She'd love us to come. I called her back and calmly asked for details etc, and it turns out we would also be caring for my DN (4) whilst they have a 'honeymoon'.

I am fuming.

1. She TEXT me this information? WTF????
2. Why the hell did she tell my DDs that they would be her BMs if it wasn't all definite?
3. If we did manage to spend our entire holiday budget (and then some), we would be spending our time looking after DN

Oh God- even worse now the bride is trying to get you to share with people to make it affordable? Yuk.

It would still be a no from me.

Stick to your guns. It's still a lot of money and trouble and will leave you unable to go on a holiday that will actually suit you all.

By insisting she is being tacky. Get married abroad but don't insist people attend.

I'm all for supporting family members, and for compromising where possible, but your DSis is BU and a brat. Just tell her that you'd love to have been able to join her for her special day but can't afford such an expensive trip.

She wants you to spend your holiday sharing with ppl you don't even like? Brilliant. The fact she is even texting this suggests she is a bit aware at how much she is asking of you in terms of money......glued to this thread for an update....

Blimey! Just seen this - have you phoned her yet? You can always use the ear infection as an excuse for not being able to hear her if she starts to create down the phone

your DH is fab but she needs to understand that the decision is really a family one (i.e. the both of you) because you can't actually afford to take all of you over to Cyprus to save her a few quid. I'm a bit staggered that she ever thought that was an OK option, actually.

Sad for your DDs though - but again that's her fault for promising them something then snatching it out of reach, how mean!

have you phone yet ?
do you need some hugs ?xxx

I think that she has made her choice and has to accept that getting married abroad means that a lot of people that would have been delighted to go to her wedding will now not be able to. If you can't afford it, don't do it. She is the one being unreasonable if she can't accept that. Will check back for update after you've spoken to her. Hope she won't turn into a nightmare over it.

Don't go. Cyprus really isn't all that as it is let alone spending that much to go there to a wedding you feel obligated to go to whilst providing free childcare and the potential to share a villa with some delightful individuals.

I don't see the draw of the place personally it's horrible! Give it 20 years when they've finished all the building work but when we went it was just a hot, dusty building site. Not worth the best part of £4k no matter what the reason for going!

yy update please, OP! Have you phoned yet? Go on, the sooner it's done, the better!

i prob wouldn't go either. too much with all the dc's and i do think some small consideration for everyone else would have been good.

i really don't get overseas weddings unless the bride and groom are happy that no-one attends!

You lot are awful :)

We are having a quiet family day today as DD1&2 are off to their Dads for a couple of days tonight and DSD is doing the same with her Mum. DH and I were talking about not telling her for now, maybe wait until she nags asks us again.

Why couldn't she pick a nice Greek Island, they are beautiful. Cyprus has never been on my list of places I want to visit.

Ah no, you should tell her now. Just in case she has an attack of conscience and decides to hold it in the UK after all. I mean, she probably won't but do let her have the chance (or has she already booked and paid for everything in Cyprus?)
G'wan, bite the bullet, get it over with now.

ohhhhh no fair

have a lovely half term

Yes you should tell her now before she books anything.....

I think she's already booked and paid a deposit yesterday.

MsInga, without wanting to panic you I think you need to to speak to your sister and make your position clear before she starts booking hotel rooms for you that suit her child care requirements on your behalf.

No, do tell her before she books somewhere for you!

No frills flights would be around £125 each and s/c apartment for 6 from about £200 - so could be done for more like £1k than £4k if necessary.

Agree that you should not feel pressurised to go unless you want to though.

Do it now as-I-am-going-out-and-want-to-know-what-happens so she doesnt book rooms and flights!

Time to speak to her then.

Tell her today, get it over and done with otherwise she will go ballastic that you didn't tell her sooner.

We'll even hold your hand whilst you do it.

Definitely time to call her - paying a deposit for someone else is just stupid.

Oh yes, you need to tell her asap if the plans have been firmed up.