To be upset with dd1 teacher.

[lisad123]

I know this is likely to kick off because it's about religion, but hopefully it won't.

We a family we don't celebrate Xmas or birthdays ect. Both dds have been brought up this way and it's never been an issue to anyone (beside PIL but that's another thread)!

Dd1 is 9 and at Xmas her teacher kept making comments about Xmas being the most wonderful time ever, if you don't celebrate your missing out on something special and wonderful and no child should miss xmas. I let it wash as we were taking girls away over Xmas so dd1 wasn't fussed.

Yesterday, someone in her class was giving out birthday sweets. Dd1 refused as she knows we don't join in celebrating bdays. It's never been an issue, we have plently of sweets. Her teacher made a comment and told her it was ok, she should have one and I would never know! dd1 still refused and told me what teacher had said.
When she came out today she told me her teacher had put sweets in her tray, and told her they weren't bday sweets so she could eat them.
Now Friday is the only day we have sweets because she is a sugar addict and gets ratty and obsessive if we allow too many sweets.

So I spoke to the teacher and he said he felt sorry for her and didn't think it was fair. I explained that I understand that but this is our choice and he told me in future he would try not to say anything but he did feel sorry for her
She wants for nothing and I'm very proud of her for standing up so well to her beliefs.

I'm wondering if she was a religion that didn't eat meat if he would have such a problem.

So am I unreasonable to be upset with him?

Oh tink I had forgotten about that....

Bad enough that they are not given space to form their own beliefs and develop as individuals but that they may also die just for being unlucky enough to have born in a JW family is just unbearable.

I'm trying to keep this non emotive, because I think it's useful for people to understand more about the beliefs and the way it works.

You should also know they are at the cutting edge of non blood treatments a dn value human life above everything except the few issues where there is conflict with their faith, eg JWs would be expected not to drink to excess, not to be involved in violence, not even to speed.

I am going to leave this thread now, as what started as a thread about sweets and teacher telling my dd to lie to me, and ended up being a Jw bashing thread.

I understand I asked on AIBU, and thank you for all your answers.

Oh and not to smoke.

I am going to leave this thread now, as what started as a thread about sweets and teacher telling my dd to lie to me, and ended up being a Jw bashing thread

And I think you knew very well it would be too.

All you had to say was "The teacher told my child to lie to me about accepting sweets I don't allow her to have"

You were the one who brought religious intolerance into it.

op well I think everyone agreed with you that the teacher was in the wrong, so I guess that's it.

good grief! JW is only 130 years old! WTAF? I assumed it was ancient.

Also the wikipedia article doesnt say why JW refuse some treatments and not others.

IS anyone willing to explain?

Op I am sorry if you thought I was bashing your religion in anyway. I just object to being dragged out a warm bath because someone wants to give me something I don't want. I respect JWs beliefs, and their right to practice those beliefs. But not when that involves telling me MY beliefs are wrong.

And did I mention making me get out of a warm bath?!

Entro the only treatments they refuse are those involving substantial element of another persons blood being used. It's related to a verse in the new testament which I cannot remember off the top of my head though at one point I knew this like the back of my hand. It's also mentioned in the old testament but other commandments from their are regarded as out dated to the new testament .

Scientology for example refuses all medical treatment. JWs are actively encouraged to seek medical help as they believe in the sanctity of life and it's only on this one matter which they believe is decreed by god that they would refuse treatment.

Issues such as organ transplants are now regarded as a personal decision.

I realise that there are blood recycling techniques which have been brought about by JW, and I think this could be a useful way for surgery to advance techniques where not so many blood transfusions are needed.

I think an adult JW totally has the right to refuse any treatment, as has any adult with the ability to consent. But I feel for the children who are not old enough to make that decision for themselves. Thankfully the law make the decision about the child's treatment.

Question for Rhondajean is it true that for JW women have to obey men and girls have to obey boys? I was told that once, but not sure if that applies to all JW.

Indeeda, we were always told to avoid things like dragging people out of baths if we possibly could, purely because as with you it puts people's backs up and they won't listen next time.

Ooh what a furore!!

This is from Wikipedia...............

Ancient Rome

The Romans enthusiastically celebrated birthdays with hedonistic parties and generous presents. In revulsion, the early Christians rejected the practice as inherently pagan.

there are many reasons why JW's do not celebrate pagan celebrations and as someone earlier said, they do get short shrift on here.

I once heard a JW child say, 'I do not celebrate birthdays but I do eat cake!' which was very amusing when he was offered a piece of birthday cake.

Leave the OP alone. She is raising her children in the way she knows to be the best way.

The belief is the man is head of the household so for example women cannot be elders or preach at church. In my opinion, this is open to abuse but the flip side is tht men are told to love and cherish their wives and the bible does speak of women running their own businesses etc.

I will admit to having a major issue with this one.

rhonda - sorry, didn't explain that very well. I mean that I met his eyes and he couldn't meet mine. I suspect because my shock at seeing him (he just disappeared one day) was written all over my face. inannn - I have googled him, yes, but I've never found him. He has a fairly common name and neither of us were living in the UK at the time (although both British) so it makes it a lot harder.

I hope you're happy wherever you are, PS.

Lisa - I'm sorry this thread has upset you but I think it was pretty much a car-crash in the making. It's very difficult for anyone who hasn't been raised JW to understand it or have any tolerance. It just seems an utterly miserable way to raise children to me.

What are you on about Rhonda?

Dragging people out of baths?????????????????

That was to dikkert btw. Men are expected to treat all women with respect. This is based on Adam being created before eve, and the old testament view of women.

I have always felt if I had been a boy there may have been a different view about my ongoing education tbh but that's a personal feeling.

Rhondajean Thanks, so it is not true that girls have to obey boys then. It is just a head of the household issue. Also, does it mean JW never divorce?

Someone earlier got roused out of a lovely bath by a jw at the door a tale of - I was apologising to her!

rhonda I am glad to hear that JWs are normally told not to do this! Just a shame this man missed that memo!

BTW thanks for your posts, I find them fascinating! I find all religions/beliefs fascinating and love reading peoples experiences of them :)

JW's do divorce but only on the grounds of adultery.

They could divorce for Unreasonable behaviour but if they want to remarry it has to be because of adultery.

Divorce is only allowed for infidelity.

There are grounds for separation, I think this includes domestic violence and some other things, but that would not allow for a divorce, or if there was a divorce, the person would not be allowed to remarry.

If the couple sleep together again after innocent party is aware of the infidelity, this is counted as forgiveness and there is no longer grounds for divorce on the basis of that incident.

Understanding how complicated people are, I find that a bit difficult.

Is this helping people understand more? I feel I've thread hijacked sorry.