To find DPs behaviour last night really mean?!

[shouldIbecrossaboutthis]

Ok ladies, I am after a bit of perspective; I am a regular but have name changed in case I get a thrashing!

I am 10 weeks pregnant. Every evening I get really bad nausea, not actually sick, but feeling like I might be sick. The only thing that makes it go away is eating crappy food, but sometimes I feel so sick I can't stand to cook.

Last night was a bit like that. DP offered to go to the supermarket to get some super noodles [shame] but they really help with the sickness. He then cooked them for me, which I was very thankful for, said thanks etc. He also made his own dinner from leftovers. I cleaned everything up.

I then had a bath and went to bed @ 10pm. Fell asleep in bed with the light on waiting for DP to come up. He came up 10.30ish, woke me up, got into bed and then refused to turn of the bedroom light!

I also refused to turn it off as we have the rule the last one in turns it off. It's not like he even politely asked if I would turn it off. He just point blank refused to do it!

AIBU in thinking this was mean? The only thing I can think is he felt hard done by getting me some super noodles and cooking them. Should I be more understanding? Was I as bad as him by not turning it off?

cutegorilla I was wondering if he was pissed at fetching and making me dinner. and then having to do the light. That's why I posted this thread!

"BluddyMoFo* Haha sounds like it could be fun!

HappyMummyOfOne thanks, that's the kind of response I was after. I think you're right, I think he was cross that he had cooked and bought dinner. FWIW I don't "play the pregnancy card". I was quite happy to go to bed last night without eating because I felt so sick, but he insited that I eat. I did clean up from the cooking though.

quicklookbusy no he doesn't normaly behave like this. But we do have quite different approaches to things.

shewhowhines Yes it is tyhe principle! So glad you said that. Thanks.

Maybe he assumed that you wanted it left on because you'd gone to sleep with it on (wouldn't you turn out the light yourself before you went to bed - )? So he left it on when he went to bed as he thought that's what you wanted. And when you then said to him to get up and turn it off it felt like his thoughtfulness being thrown back in his face?

I am glad I am not married to any of you who thinks the Op should have switched it off herself/just get over it and is making a fuss about nothing. Obviously respect in marriage is a non issue for a lot of people.

redskyatnight I said to him "don't forget to turn off the light" as he passed the switch. I left the light on for him as he said he was coming right up.

ok so you are pregnant

and felt sick

he made you noodles

you went to bed early

he came in after you and wouldnt turn off the light ...

well in my opinion .... um, err ....um ..... whats the problem again?

invest in miners helmets.

and good luck with pregnancy and please god me all your worries be as trivial as this

You are both BU. You're making a song and dance about who turns off the light!

Our light switch is on the other side of the bedroom but I'd never think of creating a rule about who turns it off. Both myself and my DP generally find it easier to sleep with it off so its a non-issue.

Do you both lack common sense?

I don't think the OP means it's a strict rule as such but let's be honest, it's common sense for the last person coming into the room to go to bed to turn off the light, is it not? If he's irritated at having to buy and 'cook' a pack of noodles, then god help you when the baby comes and you ask him to change the it's nappy or something.

You need to discuss it with him to see if there's another issue involved or whether, as is my suspicion, he's just a dick.

I love the internet.

What flavour Supernoodles did you have?

It's just the idea that you even need a rule to cover this kind of thing that kind of blows my mind.

I mean, why? Why did you both feel an actual, spoken-out-loud, shook on, enforceable rules was needed? I truly don't get it.

It just is. You just do.

Nowt so queer as folk, I guess.

Defo leave the bastard but switch all the lights on as you leave

He should have turned it off but why did you lesve it on in the first place?

yanbu OP, that IS quite mean

why would you come up to bed, wake someone up, then deliberately refuse to turn the light off???
it's bloody weird

i would have been less than impressed if DP woke me up and then wanted me to turn off lights he'd left on.

makes perfect sense that the last one in turns the light off.

although i would atually have turned it off when i went to bed but that's neither here not there

I really like the bacon ones which is weird because I'm a vegetarian and I don't even eat bacon!!

What a faff.

Get some bedside lamps. They have the great advantage that one may switch the light on or off without getting out of bed! No one is obliged to use them for reading.

I sense that DH felt that not enough appreciation was shown earlier.

Am thinking about Tether's catapult option, is it to shoot light out or shoot DH? I only ask as the choice of ammunition differs :o

You both sound incredibly immature and stubborn. When you established he wasn't going to turn it off you both laid there with the light on until you fell asleep?
I bet there are deeper problems in your relationship than a light switch and some begrudged supernoodles.

Get some of those eye masks that block out the light (I have glow in the dark ones that scare the kids) and a 100w none energy saving lightbulb. Next time you go to bed after him, switch the light on, get in bed, wear your mask and go to bo-bo's. Make sure there is no light shade either. (For full benefit like)
When he switches it off, wait a minute, get up go for a wee, leave the light on and get back in bed. Eventually he'll get annoyed and decide to leave it on to spite you. You need to step it up a gear then. Lie there sighing and going "Ooh that bloody light!" get up, walk to the light switch with your finger out, when you get there turn around and face your dp. When he peeks at you (trust me he will) you'll be flipping him the middle finger.
This should be the moment when you wonder "How did we get here?" The feelings you have for your dp will shine through these trying moments. A heart as tender as yours needs to be treated with kid gloves. Reflect upon your life together, remember the misty haze of dreams through which you wandered during those first heady flushes of desire. Re-visit the love. Drink from each others soul. I think you'll find the following words a solid and fitting tribute.

Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly. ~Proverb

Or, poke out each other's eyes.

Hey presto! Problem solved.

Tee hee! This is excellent.

I agree that own brand noodles are nicer, though. The chicken ones. The others are too gloopy.

If noodles be the food of love, eat on. - Another proverb (slightly less well known)

Love is not consolation. It is light. ~Friedrich Nietzsche Apt.