to really hate parents describing their kids as "very bright"

[lunaticow]

It really gets on my nerves. I mean, how bright is "very bright" is it in the top half of the class, or the top kid in the class? Just how many kids are so "very bright". My kids are clever enough but I'd never go around posting that they are "very bright".
These parents seem to think it is relevant to everything that their kids are "very bright"?
How smug. Stop boasting and shut up!

No child is dim, southeasastra, they are simply differently bright.

I hadn't posted too soon, it was just previewing: luckily I can remember the entire thread.

BramshottThu 09-Feb-12 15:40:22

What I was talking about (and what I think the OP was talking about) was the way that almost everyone in one group of friends said before the DCs started school "of course he/she is very bright so I hope the school will challenge her / pick up on that / stimulate him enough".

When in actual fact I think all of them (including my DD, who I certainly wouldn't describe as "very bright") are just bog-standard 4 year olds, and starting off your child's school career convinced that they are something special, the like of which the school will not have seen before, is setting everyone up for years of heartache.

I think there is a case for arguing that the school system does not in fact pick up on or challenge the majority of children intellectually. For example, how many children can not count reliably to 10 when they started school?

Yet it is considered a great success if they all leave reception able to do so.

I don't tell people about the achievements of my children unless I am asked. I do however make it abundantly clear to them that I am immensely proud of them. They won't accuse me of being a smug, boastful git.

Worriedsilly.......... does it help, your DC playing violin as you poo? Wonderful mental image!

yellowraincoatThu 09-Feb-12 16:25:47
I think the British just aren't very good at being direct. You know and I know that when I say "oh God, I'm SO dim" I don't actually think I'm dim. Or when someone says "oh my child has two left feet" they aren't actually worried about the child's dexterity. But in Germany, people don't really SAY stuff like that. If I said my child was a bit lazy, they'd probably suggest a tutor and take it quite seriously, as opposed to take it in the light-hearted way it was intended.

Tee hee, reminds me of the time I said "cold enough for you?" to a German colleague, and he treated it like a real question, "Vell actually, I think the Veather is rather TOO cold for me"

My son just came home and said

'Good news, 6b in Geography (y7 for all those who compulsively compare grades )

'bad news, got thumped by xxx for getting 6b...'

So it's not just the parents who are getting cross about 'bright' children.

yellowraincoat - spot on

I'm a bit like PeaceLoveAndCandy, love all to do with Britain, the difference being that self-deprecation and such things amuse me no end.

And sometimes I do what your italian student did on purpose just to enjoy the embarrasment caused

The OP has a point though. I bet that 50 years ago there wasn't this massive thing we've today about pretending the average has gone up, or praising every child for being special in their intelligence (when we all know that overpraising kids means it's going down). Very harmful for children esp. genuinely bright ones.

"No child is dim, southeasastra, they are simply differently bright."

Sorry, I think that's absolute tosh. Of course some children are slow. What's the point of messing around with definitions of the word "bright"- we all know it means clever, clever in enough to channel a thirst for learning into something worthwhile. Few children are very slow/dim, most adapt to how they're treated and at the top they don't adapt or blend in so easily.

My children are not very bright, they are Extremely bright. I look down on those with mere Very children.

quirrelquarrel, I wasn't serious!! Good lord!

:o
Oh dear!

Loving the sneaky stealth boasting going on!

Didn't we have this exact same thread a few weeks ago?
Anyway, DD is bright, She's 5 and she's bright - in a sparky, curious and engaged kind of way. Her teacher told me so too. So what? I'm quite clever. Shoot me!
I agree with London mumsie - it's quite sad when you meet children without a spark at all.
Ditto what Hecate said.

Oh, I'm not sure if she's 'very' bright so I'm probably ok. I tell her she's dim though, just to redress the balance .

What I find very odd is when parents seem to boast that their DC is bright but lazy. As if that's okay then. They'll do fuck all with what's upstairs but they need you to know there is somehting upstairs.

DS2 is bright but lazy. And believe me, that is no boast. I have to keep prodding him with a sharp stick and it is incredibly frustrating.

I think that, often, the only person who sees it as boasting is the person complaining about the boasting.

I love the Italian student example. My father used to have the opposite problem with Japanese colleagues - he concluded:

Maybe = absolutely no way on earth
Yeeeeess = almost definitely no
Yes = maybe
Yes, yes, definitely, absolutely, Squigglesan = yes

I actually thought that 'bright' was a nicer and more socially acceptable than saying clever/gifted/exceptionally able

Good post Hecate.

Leave out the random 'a' in the above post. :)

IMO it is bad manners to brag.Whether that be bragging about yourself your talents, your posessions or your children. I never say anything bad about mine to other parents , but neither do I boast.Parents of children who are y significantly more talented in any area usually play it dow.It's the ones who are only slightly better than most that brag IME

It's one of those irregular verbs isn't it?

My child is very bright
Your child is feisty isn't he?
Her child is a pain-in-the-arse-know-it-all

LeQueen I think you meant DDs' rather than DD's