to really hate parents describing their kids as "very bright"

[lunaticow]

It really gets on my nerves. I mean, how bright is "very bright" is it in the top half of the class, or the top kid in the class? Just how many kids are so "very bright". My kids are clever enough but I'd never go around posting that they are "very bright".
These parents seem to think it is relevant to everything that their kids are "very bright"?
How smug. Stop boasting and shut up!

I think most kids I meet are very bright - in terms of being cheery, engaged, willing, enthusiastic, energertic, keen, eager to learn about the world, etc.

I worry when I meet flat and unenthusiastic children, it's like they have had their curiousity crushed.

Did you not read the bit I wrote immediately above the bit you chose to quote - the bit about only referring to them thus when it is relevant to a conversation on here?

Yes but but but... why at all, that's my question. Like why such polarities of description at all? Anyway it's obviously me that doesn't get it, not trying to pick holes in what you said.

Not referring to you at all when I say this but threads like this are usually just another opportunity for obvious and not so obvious stealth boasting....

Re my own kids, they can read, make their own breakfast and wipe their own arses so it's all good

This is very British, isn't it? How dare we chat about something positive. People are proud of their kids. It is a good thing.

I think 'bright' or 'very bright' is far less braggy than saying 'insanely clever' or 'gifted' and much more ambiguous too (everyone has a rather different opinion of what 'bright' actually means).

Isn't every kid who's lively and interested in the world bright? Aren't all kids like that in some shape or form?

Why? Because I have posted on threads about

Reading levels at age 5
Parenting issues
Special needs issue
There is no such thing as autism
My child is smart because he does homework
Should I teach my three year old to read
My child won't concentrate at school
I am so disappointed that my child is not academic like I was..

Etc etc.

My comments are usually in the context of parenting making little difference and being bright not necessarily making a child happier. I usually post that of all my children my average dd is the happiest.

I describe my children ON HERE to give my views context.

Londonmumsie has made the point I wanted to.

I didn't think bright was the same as 'intelligent' or 'clever'. I thought bright meant engaging and witty and, well you know all those other cool things about kids. I'd thought most people would think their DC was bright.

YANBU - people who use the word 'bright' are always snobs.

Somewhere a brilliant gorgeous couple are looking at their short arse dim kid wondering WTF happened

The milkman done it :o

Whatmeworry

don't laugh. Even Ds1 looks puzzled at times

I would much rather here about a child's characteristics with words other than those used to describe light. To describe a child as bright is rather boring and you may as well say nice

"people who use the word 'bright' are always snobs."

People who use the word 'always' are often

Touched a nerve there pushy dad?

Being bright doesn't always mean academically very able.
being bright may well be that they are alert, ready to learn, quick to pick up on things, but may not actually be at the top of a class.

IME most parents tend to describe their children as bright - but they are all not top of the class!

It's true though - based upon my anecdotal experience of family and aquaintances.

Justhehecate has it in one.

It's bloody annoying TBH but that's how it is on forums now. I can't celebrate my kids academic achievement because I'll just get shot down.

I do wonder that every 5yr old Mumsnet child is G+T though. It begs a longitudinal study and a revisit at 5yrly intervals don't you think? Early academic success, does it foretell later achievement or simply accelerated development because the child has supportive encouraging and academically able parents?

FWIW my July born eldest bobbed around the top of the class in a not too shiny way until secondary school when she took off academically. What I wanted to post today was that she's now (1st year uni) had her first "first" for an assessed essay- getting 85% (when 70%was the cut off for a "first"). I'm bustin' proud of her.

It is a tricky one. I use 'very bright' because I assume, evidently wrongly if this thread is anything to go by, that it is less boasty than being more precise. I also tend to only use it follwed by a big BUT... as in 'my son's teacher keeps telling me he is very bright, BUT the little sod got bored last week and decided to cut ruddy great holes in his best tee shirt.'

How else can you word it to not get anyone's back up? The only time I have quantified how gifted in a RL situation was in the interview for a private school... where playing it down would he counter productive.

I believe many mumsnetters do have gifted kids; intelligence is hereditary and presumeably those at the lower end of the scale have other interests other than debating social niceties and lamenting the state of today's schools/youth/government/economy.

There was a comedian who I read a quote from and will paraphrase as I am on my phone so can't source it...

"Imagine the average American, and then realise that 49% of the country are less intelligent than that."

It is scary. So if people below that threshold, say a 25th percentile person, wee to talk about a 52nd percentile friend, wouldn't they describe them as 'very bright'? It is all relative. My kids aren't geniuses or savants.

Apologies for all the autocorrect typos.

And Congrats Theas18 on that brilliant grade for daughter's paper. It is hard to get much above the 1st threshold at uni in the first year, so you are right to be busting proud :-)

Touched a nerve there pushy dad?

Not really. Its just I often come across 'knobs' who say stupid things that all Americans are xyz (ALL 300 million Americans share the same trait???) OR that ALL people who have personalised car number plates are abc.

My DC are lambent.

It was not literal (eye roll)

I am entitled to my opinion without abuse from you, thanks.

I have noticed that people who talk about anyone who's 'bright' tend to think that anyone who's 'not bright' (by their definition) is worth less.

"have noticed that people who talk about anyone who's 'bright' tend to think that anyone who's 'not bright' (by their definition) is worth less."

THAT, I think, is very true....

Oh so the population is 300 million americans..

A workman told me this week he hated americans - and I asked him,

what all 200 million of them? in a shocked voice looking agasht

he looked a bit sheepish and then shut up

Perhaps it was cos he knew I was a hundred million out

I don't see what the problem is , some kids are bright, some are not, most kids are good at something wether its maths, reading, art or jumping in muddy puddles.

I like to think my dd's are bright as they both have sn's but are both on the top table in their class but i don't need to go around telling everyone about but i can see why some people like to as they are proud of their children, i'm sure they don't mean to piss other parents off.