to really hate parents describing their kids as "very bright"

[lunaticow]

It really gets on my nerves. I mean, how bright is "very bright" is it in the top half of the class, or the top kid in the class? Just how many kids are so "very bright". My kids are clever enough but I'd never go around posting that they are "very bright".
These parents seem to think it is relevant to everything that their kids are "very bright"?
How smug. Stop boasting and shut up!

We knew DS was top - when he went into reception he was reading and just sort of picked it up on his own. No one was every nasty about it - until we moved to the independent sector at 8 and then there were a few snide comments but they were more about the fact that we had the means to transfer and bitter little politically motivated comments. We moved because that was what he needed and it was totally the right thing to do.

At the indy of course reports contained, exam %age, and median for set and year, place in class, grade and effort grade. Totally factual and objective information.

THanks Married, it was a genuine question! I don't think it's particularly odd to want to know.
Sparkling, I don't even know what high school is , except in America - here we have primary (infants/juniors) and secondary.

It is called 'Town we live in' High School and is a Secondary school Grey. Here we have First School, Middle School and High School.

Someone yesterday asked me if DD was bright, I misunderstood & said yes without meaning to :(.

@Grey:
I knew in reception that DS2 was in the top ability groups because I kept fretting at the staff that his speech problem would affect his academics & the staff were at pains to tell me not to worry.
Now he's y3 & I really don't know where he ranks, though I'm 100% sure he's not bottom ability group but I don't think he's top ability groups, either. I try to quiz him but fail to make sense of what he says. It's not like they stay in the same groups forever, anyway.

I feel rancor at the "bright" word: "Gifted" doesn't bother me at all because the schools dish that label out, anyway (for better or worse). We're forced to grasp it. But bright is just... ugh. Meaningless.

I have said that DC were "high ability" at X or Y.

Thanks sparkling.
I am being a cretin because I actually went to a (Town) High School myself, but called it secondary/senior. Ignore me!

Oh that's okay Grey. I thought we lived in a weird place for a minute.

Ragged, sorry to hear that. It's a fairly innocuous word for me but I take your point.

I hadn't realised DD's reading wasn't average til I started volunteering at school . Most of the others were finding level 4 challenging DD had gone off the scale (24 plus). Would never say this in real life though she just loves reading. Can't run for toffee though.

There are a lot of exceptionally bright children here who are top of the class. I'm simply fascinated that so many people seem to know where their children are ranked, particularly young children. I see how they rank older children (according to exam results) but how do you know your 6 yr old is really top of the class?

< cynical >

People are far too caught up in academic achievement and it gets far more airtimes than it merits imo. If I child is born with brains, it's not such a reach to assume that child will perform well in a classroom setting and imo, is really not something that should be boasted about or that people should be smug about... it's the same as someone being born beautiful - they had nothing to do with being born that way so it's shouldn't be so much of a validation point.

This thread is just being used for people to say 'well my dd was super intelligent blah blah... and now she's professor of yada yada at the college of pooforbrains' etc. It's boring, ya know?

As long as my kids don't seem to be struggling, I'm not that bothered and have no idea where they are in their classes. I just want them to have happy memories of their childhood.

Is being quick to read a measure of brightness?

I'm wondering, as both my boys have found it easy from 3/4.

I had always heard that reading has nothing to do with how well they can/will do it in the future? :)

I taught them before school, this hindered them though as now they find it difficult to learn (when they don't get something first time) its like they have no idea how to learn.

That was why I decided not to teach DD, and leave it to the school.

I quite like it when the competetive mums boast about their dc's and how bright they are and how much better they are than everyone else as they are unaware my dd is on the 99.9th percentile for IQ and a member of mensa >> evil laugh

I do sometimes wonder though WHY we want our children to be bright. It may give them more opportunities but it doesn't necessarily bring happiness. And sometimes it turns out that some exceptionally bright children can have unhappy lives. Being at the bottom isn't good either but maybe we should aspire for our children to be average!

DS3 is on the G&T register at school for maths and science. He was in the top 5% in the UK when his SAT results in Y6 were analysed.

DS2 (when he was at school) was on the G&T register for maths and history. He did an 'A' level 2 years early (got a B), then did a further 4 'A' levels, and passed them all with a B. He was due to go to University, but he decided that he didn't want to pursue that. We supported his (well thought out) decision and he is now very happy as an apprentice butcher, also learning Accountancy and planning to eventually open his own business.

DS1 (when he was at school) got a scholarship and bursary to a specialist sports college as he was G&T in sport (all sport but specialising in one sport) and was later placed on the National Sports Development programme due to his talent for sport. He is now at Uni and intends to be an officer in the Army when he finishes. He is already guaranteed a place at Sandhurst.

All my DS's have worked very, very hard to get to where they are now.

That is not smug or boasting, that is fact. Why should I be made to feel ashamed at the hard work and achievements of any of my DS's?

I can honestly say i would rather my dd wasnt as 'bright' as she is,it really is full of difficulties and a real nightmare alot of the time tbh.

I know that DS2 is in the top 2 for maths in his class as they take the top 2 from each class out for extended maths. Other than that, I know he's in the top group but have no idea, nor do I care, where he ranks. The same for DS1.

In behaviour and maturity he is in the bottom group though :o

And DS1 is clearly in the bottom group for common sense.

ModreB Why did you feel the need to tell us all though? Why could you not say 'my three have done really well'?

I think 'bright' is an easy, catch-all phrase that different people use with different meanings.
For me most lively, interested, happy children come across as 'bright' - as in 'bright eyed and bushy-tailed' IYKWIM.

It is much harder to find a word for somebody, child or adult, who is more than averagely ?able ?gifted ?intelligent(urgh, now there's a word I find very difficult to define) ?clever.
DS1 who has been ahead of himself all his life has just 'officially' been found to be in the 0.3% of the country for mathematical ability - so what does make him? I am really not sure and tbh I am still working on fully understanding what this might mean for him, and for us trying to support him.
He is in P4, but working at P7 levels in all subjects - might Mensa be interested in him ??
A nice worry to have, I know, but still...

sparkling

crashdoll, same as leq here. they get moved up a class or two for some subjects. it's a compromise as socially they need to be with their peers, but every child needs appropriate differentiation to meet their individual potential.

i am frankly pig sick of british people's attitudes to bright kids, tbh. and really detest the way that they automatically then look to the parent as a braggart. i was at work one day (used to be a teller in a bank) and three parents had come from the school where they had attended the spelling bee to inform me that one of my dc's had won it. (yes i knew it was on, no i didn't go. she'd won it the year before, blah.) they then spent twenty minutes in the bank being really uppity. and yes, i did that deplorable 'oh, goodness, did she? well, i don't know how, she never even bothers to learn her spellings' bollocks that is culturally dictated. you know what? she's pretty bright. so are the other two. (actually, they are brighter. theoretically. if you believe what the ep says and standardised testing.)

honestly? grow up.

i don't care what level your kids are. why do you care so much (and why does it irritate you so much) how mine are doing?

they are bright. one of them also drools and walks like a drunk. and another has adhd and asd type traits, and anxieties which lead him to soiling and wetting in public and a phobia about toileting. the other one is no genius but she works hard enough to be one of two children selected for the regional mentorship programme.

some kids are bright. it doesn't come up out of context (that would piss me off) but what on earth is the problem with stating a fact where it is relevant?

Its all about context innit?

Its lovely to hear parents praising their children. Round here its a bit of a taboo. I think its a working class, dont get abover yourself thing. People love their kids but they would never boast about how clever they are.

Its sad.

My kids are all brilliant. DD was utterly perfect in every way. DS1 is clever and charming but slapdash. Luckily he also well jammy. DS2 has LDs etc but is the MOST talented lego builder ever. DS3 wants to be a paediatric oncologist when he grows up and we have just spent 10 minutes discussing the function of the liver (he is 4). DS4 can do puzzles and make excellent tardis noises.

See - all bloody marvels!

But if someone is going on about their DCs being 'terribly bright' and holding forth for bloody hours just because they want to boast - well thats just boring.

unless its me