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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be in tears at Protecting Our Children Tonight?

95 replies

Bingdweller · 06/02/2012 22:10

Just so heartbreaking. So many hopes, so many chances given and the mum just couldn't do it. The social worker (Annie) was amazing and just so devastated by the case. In tears as I write and will think of this and families like these for a long time to come. Am so grateful for my own stable upbringing, happy marriage and two beautiful DC.

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Catsdontcare · 06/02/2012 22:16

Sad all round for all involved. I'm glad she got an opportunity to try but I'm glad there were no second chances.

I feel so sad for the dad too. Such a damaged person who was once an abused and vulnerable child himself.

Dustinthewind · 06/02/2012 22:18

Be grateful for the social worker too, doing a job day in, day out that makes you cry just watching for a few minutes.

WorraLiberty · 06/02/2012 22:18

I can't watch these programmes because they depress the hell out of me and play on my mind.

Denj33 · 06/02/2012 22:19

I was devastated, the whole way through I was hoping so much it would work out but it was just to hard for them to stay away from each other. I felt so sad for the social worker who really wanted this to work out.

Original poster
Bingdweller · 06/02/2012 22:22

Social workers get such a bad press (and sometimes for good reason). You could tell that Annie was so dedicated and caring and genuinely had the interests of the Mum and baby at heart. I agree there could have been no second chance and it clearly affected her greatly. This programme really disturbed me although I knew what I was getting into after seeing last weeks!

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seoladair · 06/02/2012 22:24

I cried for Marva, and for the mum in last week's programme, Tiffany.
I couldn't help wondering whether Tiffany might have had more of a chance of keeping her children if Annie and her male colleague (didn't catch his name) had been working with her.

Birdsgottafly · 06/02/2012 22:25

Thought needs to be given to the foster carer, as well, who cried when she knew it wasn't going to work out.

If it wasn't for people willing and able to take in vulnerable women and their babies, they wouldn't stand a chance, at all.

Snowboarder · 06/02/2012 22:29

I found it heartbreaking too. Marva and her partner both seemed like they would have been nice people in another life. It was just so sad that their own upbringings and experiences had not left them equipped to look after a child. This kind of abuse is cyclical, and I am glad that the baby is being taken out of the cycle - hopefully he will be placed into a family who will love and cherish him. He so reminded me of my own son.

FreddieMercurysBolero · 06/02/2012 22:30

Yes, I can imagine the foster carer felt upset and blamed herself when Marva disappeared with her son. They bleeeped out the babies name this week too I noticed, which is good. Poor Séan, he had never got a chance in life it seemed. What a sad, destructive relationship he and Marva had. If there had been intervention in his life when he was a child, imagine the different outcome he would have had.

Snowboarder · 06/02/2012 22:30

I agree Birds , you could tell the foster carer was absolutely devastated. My heart went out to her almost most of all.

lisylisylou · 06/02/2012 22:31

I finished watching it with tears pouring down my face. I really feel heartbroken for everyone but I do think that the social services tried so hard and I think Annie was great and did the profession a huge amount of good. I just couldn't believe that Marva put the baby back in the basket at the end and I know she'll be gutted and going through hell. I hope she doesn't get pregnant again but unfortunately it seems to be a bit of a cycle. Don't really know what else to say - just feel gutted really for all of them!

trustissues75 · 06/02/2012 22:33

It was awful to watch. I really felt for everyone involved.

Sirzy · 06/02/2012 22:35

So many people put so much effort into trying to make it work such a shame it ended as it did

Original poster
Bingdweller · 06/02/2012 22:39

I must admit I was expecting the subtitles at the end to say that Marva was pregnant again.... It seems so inevitable given the hopelessness of their circumstances. Their baby was absolutely beautiful and the foster mum was clearly heartbroken too. So much support and yet a happy outcome was doomed from the start really as the parents were so codependent on each other.

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Catsdontcare · 06/02/2012 22:39

As awful as it sounds I'm glad it failed sooner rather than later with potentially more serious consequences.

IDoNotLIKEFun · 06/02/2012 22:43

Oh - I thought the second of the three-part series was going to have a positive outcome for the family. The clip shown last week seemed to suggest it. I wonder if all three programmes are going to focus on children who should be removed, and if so - why? Surely one of the remits of SS is to work with families and to fix things. I would like to see more of what they supposedly do in that respect.

LondonAnna35 · 06/02/2012 22:44

Such upsetting viewing - I was in tears at the end too. Annie is a credit to social workers.

somedayillbesaturdaynite · 06/02/2012 22:45

I managed to hold off the tears until the clip of next weeks episode. the baby featured is half-sister to my dc and have never seen her beautiful face until now. how on earth am i going to watch an hour of it? :(

Original poster
Bingdweller · 06/02/2012 22:49

Someday Sad How awful for you and your family. X

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ShineYourButtonsWithBrasso · 06/02/2012 22:49

I have now missed last weks and this week and would really like to watch them.

Does anyone know if they will be repeated?

Catsdontcare · 06/02/2012 22:50

Social workers can't "fix things" they can provide support and tbh what more support could Marva have had than living with a foster mum to enable get to keep her baby?

sheepgomeep · 06/02/2012 22:51

they are on iplayer shineyourbuttons

Kayano · 06/02/2012 22:54

You should be able to watch them on NBC I player I think?

They did give her another chance but she messed it up by taking the baby on a 14 hour bender and not feeding him. Glad that was her only chance tbh.

Annie was amazing Smile

Kayano · 06/02/2012 22:54

BBC*

runningwilde · 06/02/2012 22:55

Can you tell us more 'someday' about the half sister to your dc? Related through you or your OH? X