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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

We are being watched !!

419 replies

domesticgodessintraining · 04/02/2012 18:19

A friend just called from the Middle East to say that the bored desperate housewives of Dubai are slagging us off ........

www.expatwoman.com/forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=171798

OP posts:
MitchieInge · 05/02/2012 14:01

how can they though? with sexual apartheid, I don't get it

don't understand why we trade with such people at all, how is their treatment of women any better than the bad old days of s Africa?

fluffybob · 05/02/2012 14:06

Sexual apartheid... wtf? This isn't Saudi Arabia you know...

(Love being able to swear on this forum... and write sexual!)

MitchieInge · 05/02/2012 14:09

well obviously compared to their neighbours

DesertOasis · 05/02/2012 14:09

Yep. We are. Wonder why?

AmberLeaf · 05/02/2012 14:57

If you live there and dont have your own slave maid not so bad, but seriously slavery was abolished a long time ago. how can anyone justify having a maid just because its the norm over there? does the heat render your arms useless?

Paying some poor sri lankan 20p an hr [if shes lucky] to clean up after you and look after your children is just yuk

After reading about Dubai I couldnt go there even for a holiday, how do you know about all of that and still feel ok about living in such a place?

Read this wondering how much to pay the slave and whether she should have a day off.

UGLY

LunaLunatic · 05/02/2012 15:03

Can you stop with the "all" this "all" that - not ALL of us here are braindead, botoxed, maid-wielding morons. Some of us are decent people just trying to get by. Why would you generalise like that? I don't generalise about, say, women from Wales (like moi) so why should you do so about those in Dubai based on some nonsense trolling thread?

Honestly read that site with a pinch of salt, there are some truly bored housewives who like to post inflammatory rubbish to get everyone else het up.

Quite annoyed by this thread really; I mean, a lot of what you're saying is totally correct (won't go into what as those of us posting from here are also watched!), but some of these comments are just rude.

I have my non-botoxed brow firmly raised at some of you right now :)

norriscoleforpm · 05/02/2012 15:10

That thread is awful amber - surely it can't be serious

Garliccheesechips · 05/02/2012 15:14

The maids thread is truly horrifying. I know it's very mean but I hope their husbands are screwing everything that moves and eventually leave them for a 20 year old PA.

LunaLunatic · 05/02/2012 15:14

Sadly it probably is serious. But again, that's a tiny portion of the people living here!

I do wonder how some expats will cope when they have to move home. Can just imagine the reaction to some of them if they behaved the same way at home as they do here.

But, once again, small portion, not all!

AmberLeaf · 05/02/2012 15:18

Luna thats why I asked the question of how can you know and feel ok living somewhere like that?

Im sure you are not all like those women on the thread I linked to above.

Quite annoyed by this thread really; I mean, a lot of what you're saying is totally correct (won't go into what as those of us posting from here are also watched!), but some of these comments are just rude

If you are not like that, then you shouldnt be offended!

AmberLeaf · 05/02/2012 15:19

X posted.

LunaLunatic · 05/02/2012 15:31

Who said I feel ok? I know a lot of people who don't but are stuck here! I moved out here for family reasons not on some gold digging mission, and I can't leave for reasons I won't go into on AIBU.

I do feel offended, because so many people seem to think it's ok to assume that if you live here you're worthy of abuse. It's complete nonsense but there are always a few nasty people who give everyone else a bad name.

As I said, a lot of those threads should be taken with a pinch of salt. It's troll heaven and not representative of the majority over here, though there certainly is a minority who behave like that unfortunately.

woollyideas · 05/02/2012 15:37

"Wow what a bunch of foul mouthed haters there on Mumsnet. You think they would be teaching this to their kids as well? And obviously have no clue about Dubai.. Too much FoxNews I guess lol "

Narrow minded? Much?

Garliccheesechips · 05/02/2012 15:44

To that, Woolly, I say 'fuck off you leather faced old cunts"

:o

DesertOasis · 05/02/2012 15:47

Live in Dubai. Love Dubai. Can't stand the UK and the nasty small minds making massive judgements.
Jealousy methinks.

norriscoleforpm · 05/02/2012 15:50

lots of jobs there...

AmberLeaf · 05/02/2012 15:55

Nasty small minds? wow. if you're not a slave owner then im not judging you, nothing nasty about 'judging' someone who has a slave.

and the language is dreadful! Mums who can't keep it clean! Wonder how they speak in front of the darling offspring

I speak perfectly in front of my offspring-I look after them myself too, what does you slave say in her own language to you and your children?

fluffybob · 05/02/2012 15:56

Just trying to put into words how I feel living 'somewhere like that'...

Well, for a start, everywhere has its problems. I used to live in a country where a disaffected youth set fire to buildings and went on a looting rampage. I used to live in a country that is up to its ears in debt and where the banking industry had to be bailed out by taxpayers. I used to live in a country where the national footballers cheat on their wives, kids and each other and the team captain is up on racism charges.

In terms of the problems here. I don't like the treatment of overseas workers, I don't like the way some people treat their maids. I do think of how I contribute to society here and I'm fairly certain my family is not doing anything to directly contribute to these problems. I do not own property and have no money invested in building projects. I go out of my way to recycle, I treat everyone with respect and I don't waste water, petrol or electricity and I don't visit dolphinariums. Any money we do make here will be saved and brought back to the UK with us and presumably be spent on university tuition fees.

I think it's a misnomer about the treatment of women. Arab women are treated, and act, like princesses on the whole. There is a high proportion of women in the workforce and far less discrimination against mothers than in the UK. I agree that some maids are badly treated but please stop comparing it to slavery - slavery was horrific, slaves had no rights, no days off, no flight home, no wages at all and could be bought and sold. If you want a better comparison look no further than au pairs. What do you want to call them - they are more than cleaners - they also shop, cook and care for children - domestic engineering technicians BSc (Hons)? I think it's a cultural thing and most westerners I know don't have a maid and those that do are working, maybe a cleaner for a few hours once a week. The threads you are looking at a more likely to be from women from other countries where domestic help is the norm.

I don't think for a minute that Dubai is paradise - far from it - but like all things in life, there is more to it than meets the eye and I am happy to raise my children here.

AmberLeaf · 05/02/2012 15:58

Your slave.

woollyideas · 05/02/2012 15:59

But Garlic... they are probably too fucking lazy to fuck off themselves. Why do it yourself when you can exploit pay someone else to do it for you? Grin

SaraBellumHertz · 05/02/2012 16:15

Loads of posters on MN post on expatwomen, hell half of them have had the same posting names on both sites at one time or another.

Many many of the expats I know are appalled by issues surrounding employment rights and indeed work actively to promote rights and ensure better treatment for all. There are so many inaccuracies in the Johann Hari article that I don't know where to start but one of the things that really sticks in my throat about the guardian article is the suggestion that transport for the labour force was changed because expats complained the "cattle trucks were unsightly".

In fact a largely expat charity campaigned at great length for better safety and conditions for workers which included the provision of better transportation.

valar there is no indigenous work force. The locals here are on average worth several million $ each and many have no need for work unless they choose it.

TubbyDuffs · 05/02/2012 16:18

Well put fluffybob.

An awful lot of sweeping generalisations being thrown about on here about Dubai and us expats who live here.

I have 3 kids, no maid, a mortgage in the UK on a house with family living in it rent-free (whilst we work and pay a bloody big rent out here). There are women over here that turn into "Jumeirah Janes" when they suddenly have some cash, and I have seen women trailing a maid around the supermarket pointing out what they want in their baskets, and it is sickening, but please don't tar us all with the same brush.

SaraBellumHertz · 05/02/2012 16:22

I have a maid, who is paid well, treated well and is quite happy with her life in the UAE. The same can be said of all my western expat friends.

CardyMow · 05/02/2012 16:30

But is she paid well to local standards, or are you paying her the equivalent of british NMW of £6.08/hr? Because IMO, if you are still paying her less than you would have to pay an equivalent worker here, you are exploiting her. Paying her two peanuts instead of one doesn't mean that it's not exploitation...

Bear in mind your family income. Then bear in mind HER family's income. That is all.

domesticgodessintraining · 05/02/2012 16:36

If £150 per month for a 12 hour day is not slave labour I don?t know what is.

OP posts: