to be frustrated when parents on playdates do nothing but play with the DC?

[Susiewho]

Or should I say dominate and interrupt their play?

I have a couple of friends who do this and it's annoying. Our DCs (around three/four years old) get together at each others' houses to play, but the other mums are all "Ooo, what shall we find to play with next? Play doh? Shall we make a den?" etc. They immediately get right on the floor playing.

Yes, when it's just you and your DC, cool. BUT when they're there to play with each other, can't we just let them get on play? I've noticed that one little girl in particular clams up a mum's in charge of the playing.

Also, please have a conversation with me, not just a few words punctuated with "Ooo, shall we have a look at this book, dear DC" type phrases?

Clearly I'm too dull to bother with and the prospect of building a Lego car with a three year old is more entertaining than chatting to me. Probably.

Parents stay on "playdates" - I thought the idea was to drop-and-run for 2 hours P&Q.

"play date" do you mean have a friend over to play? Or do you mean gossipy coffee morning?

They're showing off.

I mean a couple of hours - DC play, parents have a brew and supervise. Not take over. Surely it's for the DC to have fun with friends?

That's why I thought, SuePurblybilt. It's not impressive. It just seems overbearing to me. My DC don't need an adult to choose a jigsaw for them, and they'd quite like to do it without an adult showing them all the corner pieces.

Yes, they're showing off. And yes, it's annoying.
If you want to play lego with your kid then that's great - but stay home and do it. No point going to someone's house to build a lego car.

They are just worried that their children are going to act like hooligans so they are getting involved with playing to head that possibility off at the pass. It's fair enough really. Better than having a load of screaming monsters smashing up your house and whacking your DC.

I generally only interupt if ww3 is about to start. The idea of having friends round is for them to learn to play together and share aswell as have a lovely time and a bit of a change.

Meanwhile, parents are slurping coffee and having a natter. I agree with Sue, it's all a bit "look at me, the perfect parent"

Each to his own I'd think. Personally I'd leave the children to get on with it, but if someone wants to be more "hands on", I don't see the problem. Shrugs......

YANBU - you're not dull, they are. Ask them to leave the DC alone to play. It may not have occurred to them.

My idea of having friends round is so that the children can bugger off and play by themselves while I have an adult conversation. It doesn't always work out that way but that is my aim.

YANBU OP

i guess the idea is to structure the play a little bit and to role model some behaviour. It's a bit odd to think that playing with a child or children is in some way showing off.

Or maybe the other parents just don't like the OP so would rather talk to the kids?

I have to get involved, or DS (23 MOS) just sits with his face burried in my lap crying. If I do join in, I can normally drink a cuppa and carry on a reasonable conversation. However, a lot of the Mums I know seem to agree with you, so we don't get invited on many playdates and I get lonely!

So YABU.

When we go to playdates, I'd love to be able to chat to the other mums while my DS plays. But he'll very rarely play by himself, so I end up spending most of the time playing with him. Perhaps some of OP's friends have similar children so feel they have to play with them??

I think they play better if they are left alone. I think at 23 months it is a bit different though, my girls would have clung to me at that age too but once they reached 3 they would happily play with a friend.

gosh, the word playdate really grates with me. surely it's just going round someone's house. popping over might be a more accurate description.

i sometimes play with mine and my mates kids when at their house or when they're at mine. often it's just to get them started, if they're feeling shy. do same at home. play for a few min then creep off. really get irritated by parents who just keep telling their kids to "go and play." a quick few min of helping get things going and they'll leave you to your brew and natter. lots of kids take time to warm up, especially if they are in new houses or with people they don't know.

schmee, are you saying that you have never seen this type of conspicuous parenting? Cos you're very lucky if so.

Why would they need to structure the play or model behaviour anyway? The OP isn't talking about intervening in arguments or helping out, she's talking about an adult directing the play completely.

I'd just invite the child - be a bit blunt 'Would x like to come and play? You could drop him off at x and pick him up at y'. If they aren't going to be good company, don't invite them :)

Playdates? WTF is this nonsense? What happened to 'having a friend round to play / for tea?

there is structured play and over interaction with children imo parents like this love to show how well they are interacting with their child , next time when they come over let the children play and move them into the kitchen and watch them twicth as the Littlies enjoy some free play the mums will be sweating by the time they go home ,

twitch* god sake typing

Yep, I'm not talking about helping out or sorting out any problems, I mean those parents who spend the whole time on the floor, directing the play and throwing the odd conversational bone to me.

I mean DC old enough to play alone and would love to have the opportunity to do so.

I'm not keen on "playdate" either, but it's quicker than typing "when your DC go to other peoples' houses to play, or they come to yours. With a parent."

Oh, by the way, the three DC of these two mums in particular are lovely and have no problems playing with their friends, especially in familiar, safe environments.