to find it extraordinary how many women shag multiple men within the space of a couple of weeks?

[AtYourCervix]

I've been dong some intensive reseacrh via Jeremy Kyle and find it amazing how many people shag different people one day to the next.

Is this normal behaviour?

I always assumed most people tend to only do one at a time, with at least a couple of weeks break in between and therefore know who would be the father of their progeny.

Am I hoplesly naiive and old fasioned?

i don't think it had. i think i was generally so riled by OBEM rational thought had deserted me.

When DNA testing came in and a crime was commited in a small town, it became apparent that at least 20% of the population couldn't have had the fathers that they thought, they have carried out research and think that figure is pretty standard, especiallly in ports.

We are all products of out families norms and values and our socialisation. There is no 'like that' or 'respectable', you are just following your own ethics, neither view is right or wrong, it is how it impacts on others that should count.

I don't watch channel 4, myself.

Well, contraceptives do fail sometimes. And it would be unfortunate if such a failure occurred during a Good Week of three or four different partners you had PIV with. Indeed, I remember a spell of Major Unease when my AF was a few days late after just such an entertaining week, particularly as the three blokes who might have been potential dads were, um, not all of the same ethnic origin, which rather ruled out tossing a coin and going 'It's You!' to one of them. Just in case it obviously wasn't.
(Luckily no PG had occurred).

I am more concerned about the fact that the JK people have no idea about or that sexual contact even leads to pregnancy!

I had an ex who was talking about his DC and said, "they weren't planned. We didn't plan them"

Did you have unprotected sex with their mother several times says I?

Oh yes of course. She "just fell"

I do urge you to watch that clip by the way. Basic genetic ignorance.

I think nowadays, when the technology is there, that all children should be positively DNA related to their fathers. To save lots of misery in years to come. I suspect this is an unpopular view though

Possibly unpopular, but I think it will become the norm. I would want proof +ve before the DS's coughed up any money if told they were fathers.

I read that about 10% of all kids are being brought up by men who think they are the fathers but are not....

We don't get Jeremy Kyle here in Australia but I just had a quick look at some Youtube clips. Where does he scrape these people up from and why does he put them on national television? Seriously why would anyone ever agree to go on the show? Please, please reassure me that this isn't the general culture in England .... that this is the worst of the worst.

Right, I don't look/sound in a million years like anyone off Jeremy Vile.

But I did sleep with 2 partners, 3 days apart the week I got pg with DC. One used a condom, one didn't. DC came out the spitting image of condom refuser (they looked v different). 'real' Dad never knew this but buggered off into the sunset anyway. I wish DC had been the other boy's, our lives would have been v different.

I definitely agree that children have the right to know their real paternity, but mostly for reasons of family health etc. I agree with Mary that blood connection in no way makes a real parent. To suggest it does is a massive disservice to all the people bringing up children not their own with great love.

I can't help feeling though that if men got pregnant we wouldn't even be having this discussion. For centuries our culture has not only considered it 'normal' but has also positively celebrated men having multiple partners and 'sowing their wild oats'.

Am I hoplesly naiive and old fasioned?

No just normal. The social dispproval of girls/women with multiple partners still abounds - you should hear the school corridor - full of "she's a slag/slut" so even children have moral boundaries and thing gratuitous shagging is very wrong.

As I'm at pains to tell them, don't judge, girls who put it about generally have awful home lives and equate sex to being loved and need that fleeting moment of what they prerceive to be affection and the best thing you can do is actually be that girls friend and instil some sense of self worth into her.

"condom refuser" if he can say no so can you.

If I became single, after 17 years of marriage, I would shag the entire male population - including Jeremy Vile. He's lush.

I just posted this on a thread about cbeebiies so whoops for that, but my headmistress said during the sex talk that a vagina should be like an exclusive nightclub, can't come in without a jacket.

Ha ha, I like that advice from a headmistress.

If I go out without dh I always think thank goodness I am married because the men I see out & about don't interest me at all.

I think I'd prefer to just let it close over and heal up.

Oh god I know, if we divorced of his forbid Dh died there is no way I would be interested in dating.

Uneducated slappers, male and female

Wow, I've read this whole thread, waiting for someone to say that sex is special and should be shared with someone we love and care about, someone we've got to know properly first. I'm not vaguely religious, but I've never had casual sex or a one night stand. I couldn't get naked with someone I barely know. I'd feel exposed (literally) and vulnerable. Not to mention the safety aspect. If any of my daughters were having sex for sport, I'd be gutted. Obviously I'm shockingly old fashioned, unless this is yet another one of those MN parallel universe discussions.

Sex is only special to some people. And those people are at liberty not to engage in it without trading it for commitment. However, having lots of casual sex for fun doesn't automatically make you wicked or damaged. Lottielou, remember that how your daughters choose to conduct their sex lives is up to them, not you.

Of course it's up to them. Doesn't mean I won't be upset if they treat sex casually.
I'll love and support them just the same. But I won't pretend I'm ok with it.

I couldn't have sex with someone I didn't emotionally trust - so that kind of precludes random encounters.

Lottie - I feel the same about my son.

A lot of it has to do with I hope I'm raising him to have a generally kind attitude to others and would want him to CARE about his sexual partners. Mutual respect, consideration, kindness towards the opposite sex etc are all in my mind as critical a part of sex ed as the mechanics of contraception.

One of my greatest hopes is that'll he be able to having a loving, stable family of his own someday - "putting it about" isn't compatible with that. The idea of grandkids out there unknown to me and possibly struggling in poverty, not knowing who their Dad is etc with their Mums doesn't appeal at all.

"You play, you pay". For some games the potential price is too high.

i have always only shagged one person at a time.. i don't know how anybody has the energy for anything more!
though it's not unknown for me to move between partners within a week so i could i suppose have had a 'unknown father' situation (except that i used contraception and MAP on the rare occassions condoms failed).