To think that a SAHM of school age children has no reason not to...

[donteatyourteawithnoknickerson]

exercise if she wants to?

Background - I work full time, have two DDs (6 & 8), am studying for my Masters, do all my own cleaning, ironing, cooking etc (with DH obv) and still manage to go to gym 3 times a week. I am no skinny minny (size 16 - 18) so not a fitness freak.

A friend of DDs mum asked me tonight if I'd been to the gym when we were picking up from brownies. I said no, for a swim, and she asked me what i had done and I told her - 20 lengths.

To which she replied - oh you're so good, you're lucky to go to the gym. Previously she has said she wants to lose weight etc.

Now her DH earns waaaaayyy more than me and DH combined. So why doesn't she find the time when her DDs are at school to exercise if she wants? It's not a question of money....

I think she probably just can't be arsed to go.

Maybe he's a bastard and makes her spend all; day scrubbing the bog with a toothbrush?

Maybe she's just lazy?

Who nose?

what Dexter said.

"If she wants to"

Maybe she doesnt.

Perhaps her DH doesn't give her enough money for a gym membership; or maybe she actually can't be bothered and was just making conversation?

My children are at school and I have a part time school hours job. Sometimes I genuinely don't have time to exercise (I do voluntary stuff too) but mostly I just don't want to.

Your friend probably doesn't want to either. Just let her comments wash over you, it doesn't matter to you whether she does excerise or not. One of my closet friends is very overweight, and she says things like this too. I tend to just change the subject, because years of experience have taught me that talking about it will not change anything.

Perhaps she doesn't drive, can't get childcare in evenings, is a home worker in the day, looks after an elderly relative, is a bit shy, has a secret injury or private health problem etc.

In other words, her life is not your business and she sounds like she was being nice to you so YABU.

Well she obviously doesn't really want to go to the gym and is being nice to you. Not sure why you are bothered though. My friend goes to the gym regularly sometimes I think ooh that would be nice and then I remember I would rather stick pins in my eyes.

Why does it matter? Maybe she doesn't want to go swimming.

Is this a stealth post. I don't go the the gym either, I don't want to.

Sorry I meant a stealth boast.

YABU. What's it to you?
I work pt. I have a pre school and a primary child. I could excersise but I prefer at present to help at my dd school on my free morning or meet friends.

I'm not motivated and exercise bores me. Maybe yr friends the same.

She probably just doesn't want to.

I am a SAHM with a school age child and since he has been at school I have joined gyms, got enthusiastic, and then given up on numerous occasions. Now I have started at a new gym and am currently loving it but no doubt will give it up within the next few months .

Lots of people use all sorts of excuses rather than doing something 'worthwhile' - I have spent about three hours on MN tonight, but equally I would say I am 'too busy' to have read a book for my Book Club !

I kind of get where you are coming from. I think.

I don't go to the gym because the closest one is over 30 minutes walk away and I can't afford it anyway. So I do exercise DVDs at home and C25k. It is annoying when people whinge about what they can and can't do for some dubious reason. Like stuffing your face with a cream bun whilst lamenting the fact you can't lose weight. not me

Stealth post? I don't even know wtf that is.

I'm not "bothered", just got me wondering what I would do all day in her shoes - oh and she isn't any of those things, youoldslag, I know her quite well :)

maybe she doesnt want to go on her own maybe she is lazy or maybe its nothing to do with you how or if she excercises , not everybody wants to or can afford to go to the gym

Maybe her DH and herself can't justify a gym membership? Maybe she doesn't have set times when she can go so it would be wasted money?

My full time working friend goes to the gym at the same times every week, I can't. Its nothing to do with money.

Did you hang around to ask her why not? You may be surprised the answer isn't as clear cut as you think?

Yep, I'm a SAHM. One who sometime would like the routine a job brings, but you are right that there's other ways to exercise.

whackamole precisely - thankyou :)

am now going to eat some homemade ginger loaf - why on earth would I do a "stealth boast" to people I don't know?????

Maybe she thinks you're lucky because you are organised and can be bothered?

I envy together people!!

It's not the the Law that you have to go to the gym if you have time. I think she was just making small talk.

she probably files her nails does lunch with the girls and then picks her children up from school like most SAHMs

I fail to see why you are being so judgmental about this. But its double edged. She is damned for being "fat and lazy" and damned for being a sahm. How is it in any way your business.

Perhaps she lacks the confidence to go to a class or gym - we can't all be 'superwoman'

judgmental? - lol. Really? That post was judgmental????

YABU. Sounds like she was just making small talk and trying to compliment you.

If I didn't have to work I would virtually live in the gym. Just got back from a late class actually.

I love exercise though, didn't get the habit until I was in my early 20's though. Some people just don't enjoy it.

How do you know what they earn? Bully for you, aren't you just fab.