To think that a SAHM of school age children has no reason not to...

[donteatyourteawithnoknickerson]

exercise if she wants to?

Background - I work full time, have two DDs (6 & 8), am studying for my Masters, do all my own cleaning, ironing, cooking etc (with DH obv) and still manage to go to gym 3 times a week. I am no skinny minny (size 16 - 18) so not a fitness freak.

A friend of DDs mum asked me tonight if I'd been to the gym when we were picking up from brownies. I said no, for a swim, and she asked me what i had done and I told her - 20 lengths.

To which she replied - oh you're so good, you're lucky to go to the gym. Previously she has said she wants to lose weight etc.

Now her DH earns waaaaayyy more than me and DH combined. So why doesn't she find the time when her DDs are at school to exercise if she wants? It's not a question of money....

p.s. I prefer classes to the gym which I find quite boring

I was a SAHM for all of last term. I didn't go to the gym because I felt guilty doing stuff that was just for me.

I'd love Kim & Aggie to swab over the gym equipment and take samples from the showers, pool and shreks hottub Jacuzzi.

Perhaps her dh does earn a lot in your opinion but perhaps they also have massive outgoings that are none of your business either and she just can't afford a gym membership .

Or perhaps she's got better things to do with her life.

I couldn't justify gym membership, local gym is £100 a month. So I would say someone is lucky to go to a gym. But I exercise plenty, DVDs, going for a run, etc.

Sometimes people just make pleasant conversation. She probably didn't realise her throwaway statement/possible attempt at a compliment was going to be dissected across 3+ pages on an internet forum.

'Because she can't be arsed' is the reason.

It's not a great reason admittedly, but it'll have to do.

VivaLeBeaver, I wouldnt pay that much!! I pay £34 a month at the council run gym

So is she being lazy or are you being judgemental then?

Thing is, people will always find something wrong in your choice, whatever it is.

I only work 2.5 days a week so I count myself as a SAHM. Most of my kids are at school but I have a 2 year old. My choice is that I need to go to the gym and/or go for a run 6 days a week. That involves using the gym creche for my 2 year old.

In my opinion, being fit is essential and the gym creche is fine. I 'judge' healthy people who choose not to exercise. But other people will 'judge' me for putting my 2 year old into a creche so I can indulge my own hobbies.

Who's to say who's right!

Perhaps she has health problems. I have hypermobility and keep injuring myself when I've been to the gym in the past. You can't tell if some people actually have problems unless they tell you.

I want to lose weight, and I want to want to go the the gym, but I just don't!

op, she says it because she's a lazy fat get who can't be bothered going to the gym but would rather moan about how she can't find the time

a lot like me, actually

She was just making polite conversation. There'll probably be a message soon about some smug bint whow works out three times a week and is still a size 16 about wouldn't it be better if she read a book or did something more cerebral to occupy her mind instead of obsessing about how other SAHMs spend their time.

Maybe she pisses herself when exercising. That's not something I would want common knowledge no matter how well I knew someone.

And if you are a close friend then maybe you shouldn't be so judgey.

Good lord, you are exactly the type of mum I avoid at the school gate.

I think she was just making polite conversation

I am always curious about people's lives/choices too, so i don't think it is a weird thing to post!

She probably means she wishes she had your motivation! It sounds like she has the opportunity (although we can't know for sure), so maybe just never gets round to it and thinks you're very productive. Maybe she wanted to compliment you but it came across as defensive as she realised she didn;t have an excuse for not exercising.

Don't know and don't care why she doesn't go to the gym.

It is none of my business

Neither is it any of yours.

What do toy want, a medal for undertaking a leisure activity?

here's a badge for you donteat.

lets give the Op a medal for being a super mum and wife!

Arise donteatyourteawithnoknickerson, mumsnet martyr 1st class

She was humouring you, probably feigning the same interest she does every time you mention the gym. Polite passing if the time, chewing the fat, small talk. We all do it, we all talk shite.

When I was a SAHM I recall having buggerall time for myself. Fortunately I was (and am) a bony size 8 so managed to avoid some judgemental baggage jumping to conclusions about my slothfulness.

Who cares why she doesn't go.

Lots of people hate gyms, I know I do.

I'm sure she was just making conversation. Just so I know, what exactly is the correct response to someone saying they are going to the gym?

On the odd occasion I mention I have been running people's eyes glaze over. Who can blame them, there is few things more boring as a topic of conversation than other people's exercise habits.....unless they are a fellow runner and then we cn bore each other for England