To be pretty upset that ds1 has been assessed as overweight and not to find any of the 'Top Tips' relevant to us?

[lecce]

Ds1 (4.10) was weighed and measured at school and we received a letter today telling us he is on the 91st BMI centile and therefore is just into the overweight category.

Of course I am upset. I had no idea there was a problem. I suppose he does look a little more 'solid' than some children, indeed some children I see do look particularly tiny. Ds has no rolls of fat, no double chin and his tummy still sticks out a bit (only noticeable when naked) and you can see and feel his ribs.

The last time he was weighed and measured (about 2 years ago) he was on the 75th centile for height and the 50+ for weight - so longer than wide. However, now these seem to have swapped over and he isn't so tall but appears to be chunkier.

I have always considered his diet to be good. The booklet the NHS have sent is full of tips about cutting down on biscuits, crisps etc but we very rarely have these. We don't keep biscuits in the house, or crisps. He loves all fruit and mostly snacks on that or oat cakes but he doesn't snack a huge amount at all. We may put peanut butter on the oatcake, but spread it thinly. Puddings are fruit, alone or with Greek yoghurt. About once every six weeks or so we bake flapjacks or fruit muffins. We visit MacD's once every six weeks or so. Dh cooks all our meals from scratch - pasta sauces etc. I noticed today he'd put a little butter on the potatoes and carrots - should we not be doing that at all?

Among my friends, I am considered on the strict side regarding food but, in fact, nothing is off limits but it is limited, iyswim. His diet has a few 'naughty' things in it but is basically pretty good and very low on processed food. He only drinks water with the occassional glass of milk or carton drink when we are out - a couple of times a month.

He walks to school, goes to the playground for 30-40mins every day, has swimming lessons once a week, dance lesson once a week and uses his scooter, balance bike or legs both days of the weekend pretty much without fail. He is not a total whirlwind, like some boys his age, but that is just his nature and he's certainly no couch potato either.

I just feel so down about this - like we have let him down. The letter is saying about how he is likely to suffer from health problems and be overweight as an adult and I could just cry. Yet looking through the tips, we already do pretty much everything they suggest. I really didn't think young children were supposed to follow a 'low-fat' diet, I though it was about balance but we've obviously got it wrong .

Would love some suggestions from anyone about what we could do about this.

Btw, I am not overweight (slightly under) and dh is a little but he is ridiculously tall so hides it well! We all eat the same food, pretty much, though not the same portion sizes, obviously.

I understand we are all different. It must be really hard to be overweight through out childhood and then adulthood.

My concerns are the other way round with my child being too slim

I thought skimmed milk was fine for a 5 year old - but could be wrong. Best to google

I'm dreading the letter for my reception aged child. She IS overweight and I know it. :( We have a healthy diet, she loves her fruit and veg and she's active but she's a foody, food is really important to her and she's the child who'll be still sitting and eating at a party when all the other kids have got up to play.

I'm trying my best with her but recognise that this is something she's going to struggle with all her life - all I can do is give her a taste for healthy food and to be as active as possible. I'd hate for food to become an issue for her and I'd rather she be overweight and happy than thin with an eating disorder because we obsessed about her weight.

But for your case, statistics are just that, statistics. There's often a lot of variation because you're taking about a sample so your ds could easily, just by random variation, have fallen a bit below the 90th percentile. If I were you, I'd just note for future reference, keep it in mind but carry on doing what you are already. Sounds like your DS has a fantastic diet at home but could he have access to junk at school? Just wondering because that's a point of contention for us as DD gets less healthy food at school.

As I said on another post about this subject this week, I'm sure I'll get one of these about my daughter. She is perfectly slim. She has shoulder blades that stick out like razors and her knees are the widest parts of her legs. But she is probably the height and weight your son is (she's a bit older at 5.3). Our diet is similar to yours. We never have juice at home. Sweetie day is once a week and then she'll get a lollipop. Portions are child-sized. Everything home cooked from scratch and it's all healthy (pasta with veg sauce, veg curry, chicken with rice & veg) She stops eating when she's full. But I'm fully expecting one of those letters with irritating tips aimed at stupid people who fill their kids full of junk food.

For those of us who are not stupid and don't fill our kids full of junk food there aren't many options. Our diet could not be much healthier and my daughter does some sort of exercise club three days a week along with other activities. I think my option will be brazen it out. Some people are just bigger than others and the one thing I won't do is turn food into a problem for my children.

BTW, I also posted on the other thread that I think Brad Pitt qualifies as obese according to the BMI charts. Sometimes you just have to ignore.

my dd also got the letter... about three years ago.

i ws totally humiliated. they ask you to complete the form if you have any worries, and i wrote that i was worried that she wasnt eating enough of anything to sustain her. shes a VVV fussy eater and wont eat stuff that touches! stew is her idea of a nightmare.

anyway they weighed and measured and pronounced her obsese. she's smaller than all her friends, she's dainty, not a scrap on her and they said that if i wasnt careful she'd end up like me ( short and fat)

so from that day on i stopped worrying. i added multivitamins to her diet and she's fine.

skybluepearl I don't know re: skimmed milk/whole milk... my children were both dairy allergic for their first two years so had soya or breast, ate little meat and were completely healthy and utterly thrived. The introduction of dairy and meat with my eldest was where he started gaining weight, though it didn't affect my son. Likewise, I'm not good if I eat a lot of dairy or grain, I gain weight rapidlly (as much a 3lb per weeki if I add cereal to breakfast and have a sandwich at lunch).

Everyone IS different, I completely agree. I think I give whole milk because the rest of our diet is very low in fat (and its nicer) and that's only to drink.. they have skimmed on cereal.

I do think its extremely complex to find a person's right balance, and get red mist with anyone who says 'eat less do more', its not that simple, even if it is at face value.

I watched a programme about this a while ago , the BMI of various athletes were taken and were all deemed to be grossly overweight .

I have always refused mine to be included in the school health programme for this reason , its intrusive , worrying , and often incorrect . If your son is fat you will know it , it is hardly likeley that ALL the childrens clothing manufacturers have got it terribly wrong . So if he wears normal size clothes he is obviosly normal for his age .

I once did my ds bmi , which suggested he was very overweight . I assure you he wasnt , pants often had to be taken in , and there wasnt a scrap of fat on him . He was however very athletic and was engaged in various sports regularly.

The guidlines on milk should be on the milk cartons themselves, and it's up to two years old for whole milk, over 2 for semi skimmed milk and over 5 for skimmed milk :)

Are people really this obsessed with eating habits? It is a borderline disorder imo.

Just eat a varied diet and get out and about a bit. You don't have to obsess about every little thing.

My DS is 9 (almost 10). He has always been above the top percentile for his height, and 91-98 for his weight over the years.

I was once told he was borderline overweight by a ridiculous HV. I pointed out that if he was so overweight, why was he wearing the appropriate aged jeans, with the adjustable waist pulled to its tightest, and there was still loads of room.

She didn't know what to say to me after that. I never bothered with the HV following.

He is actually very slim. She clearly didn't look at him, and just looked at the numbers. The poor boy has to wear skinny jeans because regular jeans look stupid on him as he is so slim! He's got a figure to be quite jealous of in fact!

Another - ignore the twats :D

There was a bit of an issue at DC's school about these letters a while ago. A mum was told her DD was overweight when she was only a pound over the weight limit. Her DD is one of the skinniest but tallest girls for her age I've seen.. The mum was so upset she went to the local papers about it!
Apparently the letters are sent out automatically, it doesn't excuse the upset they cause at all though.
I would ignore it and withdraw your consent for anymore checks - and tell the school exactly why.

Unless he's got obvious signs of being overweight (visible fat etc) I really wouldn't worry, some kids are just more muscular than others which raises thier BMI. I thought dd1 would come back as overweight as she is massive for her age and very solidly built but she came back just within the normal range, if she wasn't quite as tall as she is it would have been different (She's 7 in a few days and in age 10 clothes which she needs for her height, shoulder width and torso length)

He's eating a good diet and getting exercise, I bet in another few months when he's added another cm or two his BMI would be normal.

I think its useful for the government to have a rough idea of the health of the future generation so they can allocate resources appropriately.

OP, you have had a heads up, he is just in the overweight category. In all likelihood your ds's height will catch up with his weight but as the nation gets fatter it becomes more and more difficult to determine what is a healthy weight just by looking and parents are notoriously bad at this. BMI is a reasonable indicator of obesity in the vast majority of cases.

OP, children grow and change, I wouldn't worry. They're all different, that's the beauty of them! If you are confident his portion sizes and the type of food he is eating is appropriate and he is getting plenty of exercise then I wouldn't worry too much.

My DD(5.6) has shot up since September and she's now pretty much bang on the 2nd centile (103cm) for height. She's still under the 0.4th centile for weight at 29lb (2 st 1lb).

She's like a strip of wind. She eats like a horse but she never stands still.

She has a bowl of porridge, piece of wholemeal toast and an apple for breakfast.

Toast at school snack time.

Something like sandwiches, homemade cake/flapjack, cherry tomatoes and fruit juice for lunch.

Piece of fruit for afternoon break.

Crackers and a piece of cheese for post school snack.

Homemade vegetable curry, rice and naan or similar for evening meal followed by homemade desert or some chocolate.

It feels like she doesn't stop eating!

My daughter is no more 'failing to thrive' than a child who eats/exercises well but is on 91st centile is obese. These are just numbers on a chart that may point to something.

BMI is not designed for children so schools and councils should nto be relying on this it is irresponsible and lazy on their part, plus it takes into account the person's weight not fat content, so if someone looked at the height and weight of an athlete they would say they were obese as muscle is heavier than fat.
If your child is eating a healthy diet of normal portions, and doing regular exercise I really would not worry, especially if he does not look to be carrying extra fat.

my ds (5.3years) has come up as obese when weighed and measured at school yesterday but he isnt fat. He is tall (96th percentile) and heavy (99th percentile) so is actually in proportion. He does swimming, football and gymnastics and stops eating when he is full rather then when the plate is empty

"BMI is not designed for children"

There is a special BMI chart designed for children.

OP - don't worry, you're doing everything right.

BMI for children only provides a snapshot though as they are still growing and developing - I have been playing about with the nhs bmi calculator and if ds stayed at the same weight but grew 11cm then he would be in the healthy weight category!

BMI is not perfect but it is broadly accurate for most people. Its not reasonable to extrapolate the fact that it isn't particularly accurate for athletes into saying it is inaccurate across the board. The average reception age child who measures overweight or obese will be a bit fatter than is ideal because they are eating too much and moving too little rather than they have a weightlifters muscle mass.

If he used to be tall and thinner, then he may well be about to go into a growth spurt and shoot up.

I wouldn't worry if the difference is between 96thpercentile for length and 99th percentiel for weight, as another poster has said.

But if the difference is 25th percentile for height, 91st percentile for weight, then this could be considered overweight, and needs to be kept an eye on. As I said it could be that he is gearing up for a growth spurt.

I'm not sure exactly what visible fat is, as another poster has suggested? We all have a proportion of fat on our bodies, exactly when does that turn into visible fat? It is all very subjective.

Ha
I've just put DS's numbers in and it says he is obese.
He's not. He is heavy, but there is no fat on him. I was actually starting to think he was getting a bit skinny!
He eats healthy, has lots of exercise, never actually stops.

I opted all my children out as I disagree with it in principal. They are all healthy weights and quite slim and eat well. Lots of people opt out, several in my child's class did. As soon as my DD got the letter about being weighed she was anxious about her weight and hopped straight on the scales at home. The whole class also were comparing their weights afterwards and a friend said her boy was teased as he was heavier than the rest. It's not a good idea and very nanny state.

belgo I think the old Special K "if you can pinch more than an inch" might be it!

I think once you've got a roll, or can grab a handful you've got some visible fat!!

Aren't the letters private? I wouldn't want my DD to know anything about it. If it's possible she would know I will opt out.