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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pretty upset that ds1 has been assessed as overweight and not to find any of the 'Top Tips' relevant to us?

371 replies

lecce · 31/01/2012 20:19

Ds1 (4.10) was weighed and measured at school and we received a letter today telling us he is on the 91st BMI centile and therefore is just into the overweight category.

Of course I am upset. I had no idea there was a problem. I suppose he does look a little more 'solid' than some children, indeed some children I see do look particularly tiny. Ds has no rolls of fat, no double chin and his tummy still sticks out a bit (only noticeable when naked) and you can see and feel his ribs.

The last time he was weighed and measured (about 2 years ago) he was on the 75th centile for height and the 50+ for weight - so longer than wide. However, now these seem to have swapped over and he isn't so tall but appears to be chunkier.

I have always considered his diet to be good. The booklet the NHS have sent is full of tips about cutting down on biscuits, crisps etc but we very rarely have these. We don't keep biscuits in the house, or crisps. He loves all fruit and mostly snacks on that or oat cakes but he doesn't snack a huge amount at all. We may put peanut butter on the oatcake, but spread it thinly. Puddings are fruit, alone or with Greek yoghurt. About once every six weeks or so we bake flapjacks or fruit muffins. We visit MacD's once every six weeks or so. Dh cooks all our meals from scratch - pasta sauces etc. I noticed today he'd put a little butter on the potatoes and carrots - should we not be doing that at all?

Among my friends, I am considered on the strict side regarding food but, in fact, nothing is off limits but it is limited, iyswim. His diet has a few 'naughty' things in it but is basically pretty good and very low on processed food. He only drinks water with the occassional glass of milk or carton drink when we are out - a couple of times a month.

He walks to school, goes to the playground for 30-40mins every day, has swimming lessons once a week, dance lesson once a week and uses his scooter, balance bike or legs Grin both days of the weekend pretty much without fail. He is not a total whirlwind, like some boys his age, but that is just his nature and he's certainly no couch potato either.

I just feel so down about this - like we have let him down. The letter is saying about how he is likely to suffer from health problems and be overweight as an adult and I could just cry. Yet looking through the tips, we already do pretty much everything they suggest. I really didn't think young children were supposed to follow a 'low-fat' diet, I though it was about balance but we've obviously got it wrong Sad.

Would love some suggestions from anyone about what we could do about this.

Btw, I am not overweight (slightly under) and dh is a little but he is ridiculously tall so hides it well! We all eat the same food, pretty much, though not the same portion sizes, obviously.

OP posts:
mojitomania · 01/02/2012 13:49

Unless he really is rather overweight take no notice of the "weight police"

I know loads of kids that are bit on the chubby side, then before you know it they're grown!

LineRunner · 01/02/2012 13:51

Yes, A Knight's Tale.

catgirl1976 · 01/02/2012 13:51

That was it :) thanks Ephiny

LineRunner · 01/02/2012 13:53

(I had to google it.)

drivinmecrazy · 01/02/2012 13:57

I must confess, haven't read whole thread but DD1 is yr6 and had a letter home few weeks ago saying they would be weighed and height collected, it wasn't a consent form but was an opt out, so I definitely opted out. Both DDs were weighed in reception/yr1, both were deemed to be underweight so had the dreaded phone call, what did they eat, were they otherwise healthy, did we want to book an appointment to discuss and would we agree to them being weighed in 6 months. I said no. Both have always been on the lower centiles, I am (or was) very slightly built as were all my side of the family.
There was no way I was going to let my 11yo be weighed. Am horrified that she says many of her friends talk about how much they weigh and compare.
My child is not a statistic and unless it is in her own interests really don't want her measured or weighed by any one. (she was the only one not weighed yesterday so was a bit miffed but got over it)

Sidge · 01/02/2012 13:57

Schools don't weigh and measure children, School Health teams do.

BMI for children is interpreted differently than BMI for adults; the results are given as a percentile rather than as a number.

BMI is a tool, a starting point; it shouldn't be used in isolation but can be a guide for further assessment or intervention.

The euphemisms used for children's weight can be unhelpful - obesity is a serious problem in the UK and impacting massively on health resources.

differentnametoposthere · 01/02/2012 13:58

Belgo that's true, I just can't really see a letter in a schoolbag making a difference if a parent is feeding their child a diet of crisps and nuggets and the child is overweight as a result.

It's just a pen pushing bureaucratic exercise as far as I'm concerned.

Population height and weight generally fits a normal distribution curve. Some people are at the top, some at the bottom, most are in the middle.

DS is heavy for his height, DD is small and light - opposite ends of the curve. So what? They eat the same types of food, were brought up in the same house, genetically they are just predisposed to be different.

As I said, unless he looks like a weeble and you're feeding him shite every day, the best place for the letter is in the bin.

catgirl1976 · 01/02/2012 13:59

I really should have googled it but the thread just reminded me that I always say it to him. I didn't realise he would be weighed and measured all his life!

I know childhood obesity is a problem and significantly on the increase but I am not sure this is the best way to tackle it.

LineRunner · 01/02/2012 14:01

belgo I see where you are coming from but this programme is a very expensive and clumsy way of giving a load of kids a complex about a non-existent weight 'problem'.

Even the 'normal range' kids' parent get sent the booklet on food and diet, btw.

And it is still a fecking disgrace in this country that the most calorifically-stuffed rubbish foods are the cheapest for poor families to buy and cook. Edwina Currie promised to look into this when she was a government minister back in the 1990s. And I know that some healthy food are inexpensive but try baking a lentil lasagne when you've only got a pound left on the electricity key meter. Suddenly the SmartPrice pot noodle seems like a decent option.

ProgressivePatriot · 01/02/2012 14:07

I think the BMI has been proved to be a pretty blunt instrument.

Muscle is heavier than fat, so if you happen to have a particularly muscular 4 yr old (as I did) he/she will probably appear as being overweight unnecessarily.

I look at dd1 and she's simply not fat. I trust my own judgement about that, just as I would trust myself to judge whether or not it was raining!

catgirl1976 · 01/02/2012 14:08

Agree the cost of healthy food vs junk is a big factor in the problem

The Iceland as on recently showed a "double pepperoni pizza" which was really cheap (a couple of pounds) and IIRC contained 1,800 calories! I think that is about twice a childs intake. God knows how much salt it had in it, but given it was two quid and took ten mins in the oven you can easily see a busy and or skint mum dishing one up for dinner. Plus then possibly thinking they "only" had a pizza so the diet "isn't that bad"

catgirl1976 · 01/02/2012 14:08

Alos BMI totally ignores waist measurements which are a good indicator of being over weight

Ephiny · 01/02/2012 14:14

I'm not convinced about the cheap 'calorific' foods argument. The logical thing would be to buy the cheap foods but just eat them in smaller portions. Then no one gets fat, and you save even more money by not having to buy so much (which you could spend maybe on some fruit/veg!).

Who on earth would give a whole large pizza to a child anyway? If they'd had a moderate-sized slice wtih some veg, that would have probably been fine.

differentnametoposthere · 01/02/2012 14:14

For a very very short time (like maybe half an hour) there's a pic of DS age 16 on my profile.

I cropped it off a pic off the internet because I'm not on my own PC but you can all have a good laugh at what the government nanny state called clinically obese.

gourd · 01/02/2012 14:15

Almost certainly utter rot! I was told I was "Overweight" having been weighed at school (but not measured in any way) aged 12. I look at photos of myself at that age now and see a tall and lanky, skinny even, boyish-girl with no shape and definitely no boobs at all, but fairly large and well defined (for a 12 year old) upper body, shoulder and leg muscles (I did a lot of exercise including swimming 5 times a week, ballet, tap, gymnastics and judo). My nose looked huge actually, as my face was so thin. How on earth I was classed as overweight I'll never know, but I ended up with an eating disorder in my late teens and early twenties, so I cant help being a little worried whenever I hear anything like this. BMI isn't a good indicator. A measure of body fat % is much, much more reliable, but you need to have a calliper test - those body fat scales are usually also pretty inaccurate.

LineRunner · 01/02/2012 14:20

Ooh don't get me going on waist measurements. The nurse at my health centre seems to think that my waist is about centimetre up from my hips, just because that's where my jeans 'waistband' is. She's got me down as a imminent heart attack case.

My waist is actually within normal limits.

catgirl1976 · 01/02/2012 14:21

Ephiny - I wouldn't give a whole pizza to a child, but given the rise in obesity is is possible / likely that some parents do. Plus a lot of cheap junk food isnt that filling despite being high in fat / calories.

catgirl1976 · 01/02/2012 14:22

She would struggle to measure a lot of the teenage boys I see LineRunner

Given where their jeans waistbands are she would be up on molestation charges :)

LineRunner · 01/02/2012 14:23

Bloody hell, different. That's slim, fit boy you have there.

belgo · 01/02/2012 14:23

I think the significance of a waist measurement is the hip/waist ratio, but this is different for adults then it is for children as children?s waists aren't so well defined.

puzzletree · 01/02/2012 14:24

My son's reception class have just been measured by the visiting school nurse as well as have a sight check. I happened to be in class when it was being done, they were just taken out in small groups without any fuss, and parents were given a sealed envelope with the info at the end of the day. The children would have no idea of their measurements and certainly no 'label' unless their parent made an issue of it.

What you do with the information as a parent is up to you of course, and you have the right to withdraw children from the programme. I'm not even sure of the value of the 'slightly' overweight or underweight categories. But I do think the general screening is important to pick up children who might be very underweight, overweight, tall or short due to treatable medical or social problems. Much better to pick them up at this age than leave it and hope their parents a) notice and b) act on it.

LineRunner · 01/02/2012 14:24

I think the nurse is punishing me for having low-slung trousers at my age. Grin

Loie159 · 01/02/2012 14:24

Op - In am a bit late to this thread so I am sure it has all been said before. Please dont worry. You sound vary cautious and caring and what you end up like, as an adult, can be based on attitude to food. You are showing your DS to eat healthily and take lots of exercise which is crucial.

I notice that particularly with DD that she goes through periods of looking chubby and then she grows and her tummy goes away and her face slims right down.

Pls dont listen to BMI being an actual indicator of health. it can be helpful, but my sister is super super fit. She weights about 10.5 stone but is a size 8. she runs 10 miles a week and goes to the gym 5 days a week and is super rigid about what she eats...(which Im not advocating Im just saying that she is extra vigialnt about health and exercise) However according to BMI she is over weight but this is beacause she is so fit she has tons of muscle which makes her heavy. She is so tiny in real life so no way is she overweight but according to the chart, she is!

I think its wildly unhelpful to single children out in this manner, when there are no real concerns for their long term health. Throw it away and dont worry.

differentnametoposthere · 01/02/2012 14:25

Line - that is exactly my point. He's older now, and has bulked up even more but honest to goodness, we got a letter when he was in his GCSE year and looked like that (he's just under 6ft tall) to say he was clinically obese according to the daft charts they used.

puzzletree · 01/02/2012 14:25

And yes, BMI is a pretty poor indicator of 'fatness' but it is also easy to measure and non-invasive.

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