To be pretty upset that ds1 has been assessed as overweight and not to find any of the 'Top Tips' relevant to us?

[lecce]

Ds1 (4.10) was weighed and measured at school and we received a letter today telling us he is on the 91st BMI centile and therefore is just into the overweight category.

Of course I am upset. I had no idea there was a problem. I suppose he does look a little more 'solid' than some children, indeed some children I see do look particularly tiny. Ds has no rolls of fat, no double chin and his tummy still sticks out a bit (only noticeable when naked) and you can see and feel his ribs.

The last time he was weighed and measured (about 2 years ago) he was on the 75th centile for height and the 50+ for weight - so longer than wide. However, now these seem to have swapped over and he isn't so tall but appears to be chunkier.

I have always considered his diet to be good. The booklet the NHS have sent is full of tips about cutting down on biscuits, crisps etc but we very rarely have these. We don't keep biscuits in the house, or crisps. He loves all fruit and mostly snacks on that or oat cakes but he doesn't snack a huge amount at all. We may put peanut butter on the oatcake, but spread it thinly. Puddings are fruit, alone or with Greek yoghurt. About once every six weeks or so we bake flapjacks or fruit muffins. We visit MacD's once every six weeks or so. Dh cooks all our meals from scratch - pasta sauces etc. I noticed today he'd put a little butter on the potatoes and carrots - should we not be doing that at all?

Among my friends, I am considered on the strict side regarding food but, in fact, nothing is off limits but it is limited, iyswim. His diet has a few 'naughty' things in it but is basically pretty good and very low on processed food. He only drinks water with the occassional glass of milk or carton drink when we are out - a couple of times a month.

He walks to school, goes to the playground for 30-40mins every day, has swimming lessons once a week, dance lesson once a week and uses his scooter, balance bike or legs both days of the weekend pretty much without fail. He is not a total whirlwind, like some boys his age, but that is just his nature and he's certainly no couch potato either.

I just feel so down about this - like we have let him down. The letter is saying about how he is likely to suffer from health problems and be overweight as an adult and I could just cry. Yet looking through the tips, we already do pretty much everything they suggest. I really didn't think young children were supposed to follow a 'low-fat' diet, I though it was about balance but we've obviously got it wrong .

Would love some suggestions from anyone about what we could do about this.

Btw, I am not overweight (slightly under) and dh is a little but he is ridiculously tall so hides it well! We all eat the same food, pretty much, though not the same portion sizes, obviously.

Bigmouth - I do get what you're saying, but I find it so hard when he gets upset. He's 8 but we've just bought him new ski trousers and they're age 13. It's like this with all his clothes - every pair of trousers I have to take up by 6 inches before he can wear them, and he knows this and is bothered by it. The ski trousers I know will get him down because I can't take them up (inners and outers both have zips for the boots) so he'll look like a little michelin man. GP reckons he may have hormonal issue going on but reckons we should watch and wait a bit more...

Saying that, he was always a bloody solid baby/toddler so I shouldn't be surprised...

I'm in the heading for a growthspurt camp. So long as his portions are sensible, his diet sounds good and a couple of spoonfuls of yoghurt on some fruit certainly isn't overdoing it - he needs the calcium and the fat in his diet.

I would ignore it.

I think he is due a growth spurt and it will all even out again. When my DSes were younger they put a bit of weight on, then grew, then put a bit of weight on etc. Now they are 15 & 17 and are very tall and very slim. The other thing is, I found, is they do put a little bit of weight on over the Winter because they can't get out sude as much or for as long as in the Spring/Summer.

Try not to worry about it, you sound like you know what you are doing.

Aargh, these reception year weigh-in things annoy me; DS starting school next year and has always been on high end of curves so will no doubt be same next year when he has his check, despite eating healthy food, much more than 5 a day, and getting at least an hour of bike riding daily (plus skating, swimming, gymnastics...) I'm a GP and I'm sceptical about the charts that are being used, not to mention the overly simplistic and patronising 'tips' they give people. Frankly, if you're feeding kids chocolate bars and crisps and brown food every day then you do certainly need some nutritional help but for the majority of kids I think it is just a matter of different rates of development.
I say smile, nod, and opt out of future weigh-ins as long as you know your child is healthy. I plan to opt out if I can!

Lecce I totally agree with you, but I think I had two points in mind.

One being that its the stealth calories that you don't think about, coupled with the occasional treats that pile on the lbs.

The second being that I saw a miserable child who was beginning to be aware of being big and I could see it too.

I totally agree with others that you shouldn't be taking notice of 'advice' if you honestly do not see a problem.

It also doesn't take into account the consertina affect of a child's growth. My eldest always got chunky just before he shot up two inches in height! Then looked 'normal' again. In my case it got out of hand and we've found a solution that really doesn't feel like restriction (follow it myself and lost two stone, my friend is bang on her ideal weight and still follows the SW plan because it stops her tendancy to overeat) so in that way, its not a 'diet' but a real brass tacs awareness of healthy eating that goes beyond 'five a day'.

I probably wasn't clear, I do tend to meander to points the long way round. x

You can't put a 4yo on a SW diet!

My dd is 5 still and she wears age 9 dresses because others are too short for her - I would love her to wear trousers and skirts more but her build (looong body) mean that trousers simply do not fit at the crutch (low on the bottom) and skirts are too short and tops too short - I always had to wear older age group clothes as a child due to long body and womanly hips. I was never overweight though just big boned and muscly footballers legs

Our DC were the same as yours but fortunately they missed being weighed and measured in reception. It is a disgraceful system that does not take into account the differences of individual children.

Our DS would have been much the same as your OP and probably was about the 91st centile until he was about 14 and had his massive growth spurt. He is now 6'1" and weighs about 12stone 7lb. He is broad, he is well built, as a child his shoes were H fittings - he never had an ounce of fat on him and doesn't now. He plays prop and actually at the moment is a bit lanky for it.

DD was possibly slightly podgier and in Y6 was about 5'1" and well over 8 stone. She also started her periods at ten and a half. She was weighed and told she was overweight. There was no adjustment for her early menarch. At 12 we realised she had dropped to 6stone 13 (she was also unhappy at her new school and isn't very confident) and we were extremely lucky to have caught her developing anorexia very early. Like her brother she is sturdily built and never destined to be a skinny minny. She was 8 stone at the weekend and is now 5'3ish - probably her full height. She is now 13.5 and this could have ended very differently.

This system was not the only cause of the developing anorexia but it was a significant contributor. The system is woefully flawed and until it is applied more sensitively and takes into account individual differences and developmental stages it needs to cease as a matter of urgency.

StillSquiffy, That's not unusual; last year I was buying larger trousers for DS and then taking them up. This year they are looser on him and I'm taking them down.

Sorry about the ski trousers, though. I wish I could think of something.

This is the nanny state gone mad. If you want to know if a child is overweight, can I suggest you look at them? If they aren't fat, they aren't overweight. Ignore the busybodies. I got a letter like this when DD1 was 4. So did one of her friends, neither was remotely overweight. Now, aged 9, neither is remotely overweight. This is the dumbing down of skilled jobs, medical profession included. Instead of common sense, they have a " table". Like adults, all children are different, different shapes, different sizes. Not all children will conform to their norms. Have you tried finding height/weight tables for children? It's almost impossible. Knowledge is power and all that. Trust your instincts, ignore the letter.

Stillsquiffy 6 months ago I could have written your posts myself. Its heartbreaking. My son was never like Chunk from the Goonies, but did have excess flesh!

My experiences could be more appropriate to you than the op I suppose.

My son is intelligent, interested in healthy food (sees wine and tells me off - grr) but its a tricky combination of elements. Never as simple as eat less do more. He's as much an individual as me and it took me 20 years to sus myself out, I won't put him through that.

sodapops seriously, do you know enough about SW to make that comment? I'd have thougth the same. My son doesn't know he's been following an eating plan at all. And that's what it is, and eating plan, rather than a diet.

He still has sweets, and ice cream and never misses out when his friends have a treat. I'm not the mum who confiscates the part bags. I'm the mum that has found something that works AND still allows him to be a child.

Why did you sign the consent form allowing this data to be collected for the government - I didnt.

DD was measuring overweight on the nhs calculator not long ago. She didn't eat junk but did have a massive appetite. I didn't feel I could refuse her healthy snacks between meals if she said she was hungry but she just grazed constantly. She was also pretty active.
She's a healthy weight now and starting school has helped. It's a good walk away so she gets extra exercise each day from that and they also only have snack at a set time mid morning/afternoon so she can't eat constantly. We also upped her activity in fun ways by more visits to soft play/swimming etc.
We only ever have pudding on special occasions so maybe that it something you could look at? I don't think kids need pudding every day.

Sorry but SW equals adult eating plan, with an adult calorie count. Children need different amounts of calories. Would be better off discussing a child's diet with a GP to see if a referral to a dietician is required. In the OP's case I think not.

A child following a SW diet is mental, they need sat fats, and they neet butter not margarine!

Why
do
any
of
you
sign
consent
forms
for
governement
data
collection??????

I thought about this, troisgarcons, at the time of my son's last 'weigh in'. I asked him if I could not consent, and he said he didn't want to have even more attention focused on him in class by crap teachers.

Interesting, don't you think?

My child eats butter. He has his sat fats, though not too many, mostly nuts/avocados a little dairy as he's intolerant, lean meat has enough sat fat in it. But you can adapt it for the whole family.

I really am not going to spend hours debating the appropriatness of Slimming World for children, but having lived it, and loved it, its not limiting but limitless.

There is no calorie count.

And we did see a dietician who has nothing further to add to our own current eating plan, because its very healthy indeed and perfectly appropriate for anyone, regardless of age. So I'll butt out now. My overweight son is much better, before and after growth spurts, as am I.

I still agree with the fact its wrong to look solely at charts and rely on them.

I haven't received a letter and I don't remember signing any form. Is this a country-wide thing then? At what age? My DD started school in September.
She's not OW at all but I don't like the idea for some reason.

I denied consent for DS3 to be measured as he is a sturdy fellow, always has been, huge hands and feet etc. I knew I would get a letter about it and I knew DS would be upset about it, I also have a family member with an eating disorder so want to avoid DS worrying about his weight. i expect him to slim down as he grows taller (as I did).
The school nurse was not happy .

My DD was declared 'normal' but we still got the leaflet. Waste of money? Much?

Hiya
You might want to hear about my son. DH and I are not overweight but have to watch what we eat. Our son was always a 'chunky' baby and toddler. I restricted his diet to healthy food which we also ate. Throughout his childhood years he loved fruit and vegetables and I only provided marmite sandwiches, yoghurts, fruit etc in his lunchbox. Other kids had Asda cakes, chocolate bars, biscuits etc.

He is now 26 and seriously overweight. He blames me for restricting food in the house. He says that in other families there was always chocolates, crisps, cakes available so kids ate them when they were hungry. In our household junk food was so restricted that when it was available greed took over because they didnt' know when they were going to get any more so made the most of it.

People have said to me that I am to blame for my son's weight, which breaks my heart as I only did what I thought was best at the time, looking down on people who fed their children junk food constantly. Their kids are now stick thin! Sometimes you can't win.

I find with all of mine they grow, then get slightly tubbier ready for another growth spurt then suddenly they're slim again. Do you think this might be the case with your son?