To be pretty upset that ds1 has been assessed as overweight and not to find any of the 'Top Tips' relevant to us?

[lecce]

Ds1 (4.10) was weighed and measured at school and we received a letter today telling us he is on the 91st BMI centile and therefore is just into the overweight category.

Of course I am upset. I had no idea there was a problem. I suppose he does look a little more 'solid' than some children, indeed some children I see do look particularly tiny. Ds has no rolls of fat, no double chin and his tummy still sticks out a bit (only noticeable when naked) and you can see and feel his ribs.

The last time he was weighed and measured (about 2 years ago) he was on the 75th centile for height and the 50+ for weight - so longer than wide. However, now these seem to have swapped over and he isn't so tall but appears to be chunkier.

I have always considered his diet to be good. The booklet the NHS have sent is full of tips about cutting down on biscuits, crisps etc but we very rarely have these. We don't keep biscuits in the house, or crisps. He loves all fruit and mostly snacks on that or oat cakes but he doesn't snack a huge amount at all. We may put peanut butter on the oatcake, but spread it thinly. Puddings are fruit, alone or with Greek yoghurt. About once every six weeks or so we bake flapjacks or fruit muffins. We visit MacD's once every six weeks or so. Dh cooks all our meals from scratch - pasta sauces etc. I noticed today he'd put a little butter on the potatoes and carrots - should we not be doing that at all?

Among my friends, I am considered on the strict side regarding food but, in fact, nothing is off limits but it is limited, iyswim. His diet has a few 'naughty' things in it but is basically pretty good and very low on processed food. He only drinks water with the occassional glass of milk or carton drink when we are out - a couple of times a month.

He walks to school, goes to the playground for 30-40mins every day, has swimming lessons once a week, dance lesson once a week and uses his scooter, balance bike or legs both days of the weekend pretty much without fail. He is not a total whirlwind, like some boys his age, but that is just his nature and he's certainly no couch potato either.

I just feel so down about this - like we have let him down. The letter is saying about how he is likely to suffer from health problems and be overweight as an adult and I could just cry. Yet looking through the tips, we already do pretty much everything they suggest. I really didn't think young children were supposed to follow a 'low-fat' diet, I though it was about balance but we've obviously got it wrong .

Would love some suggestions from anyone about what we could do about this.

Btw, I am not overweight (slightly under) and dh is a little but he is ridiculously tall so hides it well! We all eat the same food, pretty much, though not the same portion sizes, obviously.

It's incredibly difficult for people these days to know whether a child is overweight or not without weighing and measuring them even for health professional. This is because our perceptions of weight has changed so much. at least 60 % of the Uk population is overweight or obese and we have got use to this and think that it's the norm. Also vanity sizing makes us think we are a size 10 when really we are probably a 14. As a rule of thumb if a child these days looks overweight they are probably obese, if they look sturdy/ solid they are probably overweight and if they look skinny so you are able to see their ribs they are probably normal weight. Why is knowing their weight important because being overweight or obese is one of the biggest risk factors for developing conditions such as type 2 diabetes, hypertension, strokes, heart disease, certain cancers, joint problems, sleep apnoea. If a child is already overweight by the age of 5 then they could be suffering from these health problems by the time they are in their twenties or thirties. The younger weight problems are tackled the greater the success rate leave it until they are in year 6 then teenagedom kicks in. Studies show the majority of overweight kids grow into overweight adults if there is no active intervention. If your child is overweight or obese start by keeping a food diary note not only food but the type and amounts of drinks they have. Some children drink pints of milk, fruit juice or squash which can whack up their calorie intake. Note any snacks they have between meals which again can all add up and meal portion sizes. An average 5 year old meal size should be about 1/3 of that of an adult ,a 7 year old about 1/2 adult portion and a 10 year old 2/3 of adult portion. Exercise wise children need a minimum of 60 minutes of activity a day and the exercise should be vigorous enough to make them Slightly out of puff.

Bit late to all this, but dd was weighed last year, was something in the nineties and the letter said nothing about being overweight. What's that all about?

I have to say that my own sister's 8 yo is a little on the chunky side- she has definitely sturdy arms and legs for an 8yo and a little bit of a tum. My sister used to expect her and her older brother to eat adult-sized meals when they 3 and 2. When I pointed out to her that they were completely over-eating, we nearly fell out over it. I had to tread on bloody egg-shells about it for ages. She stopped feeding them quite so much, eventually, but my DNiece is still not quite as slender as her frame would suggest, years later.

mumzy are you a health proffessional? I have never heard that DC should have NO visible fat EVER>.....or they are obese. Sounds like rot to me. Not ALL kids are the bony type!

No thanks, mumzy. I won't be keeping a food diary, now or ever.

Mole, presumably you and your DC weren't deemed to be a 'problem' because of a height correlation. Ignore.

Christ, the spectre of 'Dr' Gillian Mckeith hovers ......

really? you think my attitude that vegetables do not need butter on them means I am a miserable killjoy?!

I like butter, I make a mean chocolate cupcake, but our vegetables taste of.. well vegetables. Not a yummy fatty treat. Vegetables taste nice (or at least many of them do properly cooked) or at least you acquire a taste for them. I'm not sure I quite see what acquiring a taste for butter acheives.

OP I'm sorry you focused on my "other children look particularly tiny" comment which I apologise if I incorrectly extracted from your OP. The rest of my post said that it is impossible to tell if your DS is overweight from the info you give though he is significantly heavier than my taller DS which makes me think that he certainly isn't at the slender end of the spectrum. He is no more than averagely active so I doubt he can take extra portions of butter on veg without any consequence in the long term unless it is given instead of other treats like a doughnut. Do Italians put butter on vegetables for children then? Thought the italians weren't big butter fans?

Gino Campanelli always advises a very small pat of butter.

Food is fuel - if it tastes nice so much the better. Food = treats and must be yummy at all times is my personal downfall and I would hate to visit the problems I had on a child. Having to in effect retrain your palate to have things without butter and salt and cream isn't easy. Neither is learning to downsize your portions, nor that every meal does not have to be fatty or sugary in order to satisfy.

But if the consensus is that your DS is not overweight and you agree and that what he eats is fine and the BI statistics are damned lies then I'm not sure what the debate is about?

Obese children do not appear from a dark cupboard having gone in as skinny minnies, they get there slowly without anyone much noticing along the way until the problem is major. I don't understand the sarky comments from people about any proposal that there are areas of his diet or exercise you could look at - whats the harm considering them?

Ah well nothing to me, I guess. You can come back and crow in 3 years time when his BMI is back within the normal range that you were doing it all right all along.

This thead has become tedious and is advertising Slimming World for 11 year olds.

Have to agree with the butter on vegetables thing. Adding fat to everything (veggies, plain pasta, potatoes etc) is the way to obesity. There are 75cals in 10g of butter. Do that every day and over a year you've gained 8lbs. A small pat is probably half that- still, it's a 4lb weight gain.

Re weighing kids, I'm conflicted. On the one hand, we have a massive obesity problem and our idea of what is normal weight is completely warped so a lot of people need recalibrating. There are many people who are delusional about their size. On the other hand, I'm quite fatalistic about fatness. I don't think it's solvable at population level (although there will obviously be individual successes), so I think the government is just wasting money trying to hold back the tide.

Also, never take healthy food advice from a chef . They make money out of making it taste good.

I was actually being smutty.

I wondered why I couldnt find him on google . Assumed he was new tv chef of whom I was unaware. [goes off into corner to revise cultural references]

I dread DD being weighed, she is in the right size for her age, can get in pants, jeans ect for 3 year old, she is 5. But she is so heavy, i can pick her up but cant carry her more than a few steps she is just solid.

My (now 12 year old has health problems such as Chrohn's Disease, and for years we struggled to keep his weight up to normal levels. Fast forward 2 years and a 2 month liquid only diet & now it's the reverse. I think in part it's my fault. I spent so much time trying to 'feed him up' as he was clearly underweight that I'm no longer certain what's normal. I am inclined to think that 'stocky' isn't good in a child tho.

butter in vegetables is better than eating a plate of chips!

Also, some vitamins (like vitamin A from carrots) are absorbed much better when there is a bit of butter/fat on them.

also children NEED fat, even saturated cholesterol busting FAT to grow, their bodies and brains NEED fat.

I think for those who need to follow the 'top tips', they ignore the information anyway.

My niece is 10, coming up to 11 and supposedly an adult size 10 (I personally think she is bigger). SIL has put her on a diet , but she is losing a bit of weight as a result, although SIL whole attitude is 'put her on a diet for a while'. DH tackled her on this and said surely it's not a diet, but just giving her more healthy food. SILs response - yeah, whatever you want to call it.

My niece has fatty spots on her liver. A recent appointment with Dr and SIL is now convinced this is 'normal', that she can keep feeding her her 'normal' food (pizzas, processed meat, chips, sandwiches) and just to try to get a bit more balance.

My niece eats a lot of meat and processed food. She eats virtually no fruit or veg (apart from bananas). All food is allowed, no restrictions and they help themselves to whatever they like whenever they like.

I worry so much for her, but what can I say? SIL seems to be totally unaware of the need to just give her normal food, even fishfingers, potatoes and peas would help. All my ILs just put the fatty spots down to 'bad luck'. Infuriating. I am so angry with her Dr.

Sorry OP, off on a tangent then! Your diet and attitude to activity sounds great. I wouldn't worry, as I think this is far more important than any chart.

I would never advocate cutting out any food group, including fat and even sugar, but its about knowing how much is too much and its not always about the size of portion but the cumulative amount over a 24hr period or week.

Linerunner I know what you mean regarding Slimming World however it is valid, and actually one eating plan that is suitable for the whole family, nothing is banned.

Butter on veg isn't bad, no food IS evil. However the point is, that butter on veg, combined with other treats, snacks and 'moderate' high calorie foods CAN make a difference and increase weight.

My son still has butter on his veg, but if he does he can't then have a biscuit as well...

Fat is GOOD, but really really needs to be watched.

I wouldn't advocate putting any child on any 'diet', however, my son had a weight problem, we eat as a family, I am following Slimming World and its incredibly healthy, balanced and how everyone 'should' eat. The principles of it have served my family very well, without me becoming obsessed or worrying, without any stress on my once overweight son, and we're all not just looking trimmer, but feeling healthier.

Our previous way of eating was one I always assumed was very healthy, but we'd got our food ratios our of whack. SW, for us, is an adjustment to a healthy diet rather than a 'dreaded diet'. Which is why I'd recommend it to anyone, especially anyone with a family who like to eat together and love food, even more especially to anyone who's worried about their child and doesn't want to put them through the embarassment of visiting dieticians or be made to feel fat.

If that makes me a bore, so be it.

Chandon But they will be getting fat from other parts of their meal. You're presumably also giving them meat or fish or cheese- you're not just feeding them a plate of buttered carrots are you?. Once it's churned up in your stomach, your body doesn't just act on the fat that was directly on the carrot.

And yes, vegetables with butter are better than a plate of chips. They're also better than mainlining heroin, but I'm not advocating that as an everyday meal either

Why oh why is butter necessary over vegetables? And yogurt over fruit?

Why sweeten healthy food with fat and sugar to make it more palatable, rather than teach your child to enjoy these healthy foods as they are?

What sort of yogurt are we talking? Muller? Petit Filous? Both these are extremely sugary.

Heaps of fruit daily can be too much.

It sounds like your core diet is reasonably good, and then you bung on a lots of snacks in between meals.

My son is 6 1/2. He is 22 kg. He is just right.

'But again - it is up to parents to keep their kids fit and healthy..... my girls do Karate for 3 hours a week on top of the 2 hours PE - I felt they needed the extra exercise/stamina training - they are now extremely fit! '

..yes but these things cost! The children are at school from 9.00 to 3.30, by the time you get them home its 4.00 and in winter it's dark then.Schools should be responsible for making sure children get an hours vigorous exercise a day imo.What on the curriculum apart from english and maths is more important than that?
At secondary teh situation is even worse.they finish school at 4 not home til nearly 5 and an hour and a half's homework and they do 4x 40 mins of PE in Y7& 8 dropping to 3x40mins in y9 onwards.In the 6th form they are allowed to opt out of PE almost entirely

It is a shame that 'Honey we're killing the kids' programme isn't on anymore, I thought that was really useful. OP I still feel weighing children is useful-at least you can now look at ways of making little changes to your son's diet. I also wouldn't add any butter to vegetables. The sad thing is that the really overweight children will not get weighed because their parents will not sign the consent form-and they are the children that most need help.

I think comparing butter over the veg with heroin just goes to illustrate how bonkers people have become over food