To think the carer of this girl with learning disabilities needs telling!

[mummy2stan]

I take my son to a activity centre a couple of times a week and there is a young woman in there all the time who is clearly mentally handicapped, whilst I have no problem at all with this I do have one with the so called carers that are with her. Two weeks ago whilst my 18 month old son was sat in a high chair having his lunch, the girl came over started pinching his cheek and saying BOO really loudly and in his face, my son is a shy boy and isn't good with strangers anyway so at first he just stared and then after about 5 BOOS started to cry, I smiled politely at the carer who was stood with the girl saying ......gently.... Gently now.... And she did nothing to stop her until he was crying his heart out at which she then pulled the girl away. And then yesterday I watched as the girl followed a 2 year old around saying ... You've been naughty .... You've been naughty... Till the 2 year old got to her mother clearly upset, then the girl proceeded to try to pick her up, pulling her away from her mother, and all the while the carer is stood beside her saying nothing!!!! Now. Whilst I understand this girl may well have the mental age of 5 she is intact at least 20 yrs old and I don't think she should be allowed to behave this way towards other children. If she knows no wrong in it, then the carers should stop it before it makes other children cry! Why should we accept it because she's disabled? I feel I may have to speak to the manager if she approaches my son again because I take him there so he can interact with other children, not be pestered and scared by another adult. Once again my problem is not with the girl as such, more the people who are supposed to be watching her. Am I wrong to complain if she upsets him?

Although I think your question was more of a point really.

also most people don't think Mencap..... mentally handicapped.
you couldn't have the spastics society now as spastic CP is only one of many forms of cp.
so not only outdated but wrong medically now.

oh and the one time poster who started this thread never cam back, probably she caused the trouble she wanted too.

See I always thought that the change from Spastic Society to Scope was an example of a successful name change (but maybe that was because there was that particular charity shop in my town, I dont know).

agree with Pag re:Mencap. Rebranding is costly - new stationery/logos/paperwork, and risk of decreased revenues until people get to grips with the new name.

Yy to that Sevenfold. But everytime they alter their name it costs them loads. It is a balance isn't it?

That is exactly what I think - Mencap.....Mentally handicapped.

I do not like the terminology at all, but I think while the UK'S leading charity for learning disabilties takes it's name from that particular term, you cannot have a massive go at people who use it for not realising that it is outdated and insulting.

I am not sure who you are responding to. I haven't had a go at any one.

oh FFS
IT IS OFFENSIVE
get over it, the op has not come back she didn't care that much.
parents and carers and disabled people have said it is wrong.
yet still we get this
WTF is the point.
just proves education doesn't work.

I am not really sure that because you think 'mentally handicapped' that you can extrapolate that everyone else does though.

Sorry, I suppose I meant 'one' cannot have a go...... I was more referring to posters at the beginning of the thread who posted things like 're-write your post in language relevant to this century' etc etc.

I understand that is offensive, I understand that disabled people and parents of disabled people hate it, I understand that people need educating about it. I am just saying that it is not a huge cognitive leap from Mencap to mentally handicapped and perhaps changing the name would finally get rid of the term once and for all.

sevenfold and Huntycat, my sister says that a comment I made was useful when explaining to people what it's like being disabled. It sounds trite, but I pointed out, I have been a wheelchair user for over ten years. On average, I hear a joke about speeding tickets twice a week. So over the years I've heard this "joke" over 1000 times. Do you still wonder why I don't fall about laughing?

Twice a week doesn't seem like much (and it sounds a lot more frequent for you!), but literally, over a thousand comments, and people wonder why you get upset / angry / just go home or think you are over reacting?!

Well maybe someone will come along to fund a name change rather than them having to use desperately needed money at a time when services for disabled people are being dismantled.
That would be nice.

I'm so sick of this. 'Mencap is called mencap, so they think it's ok so it must be' rubbish.

Direct from the Mencap website:

About learning disability

A learning disability is caused by the way the brain develops before, during or shortly after birth. It is always lifelong and affects someone's intellectual and social development. It used to be called mental handicap but this term is outdated and offensive. Learning disability is NOT a mental illness.

IT IS OFFENSIVE! PEOPLE WHO CONTINUE TO ARGUE AGAINST THIS ARE BIGOTS.

I think the problem is that the terms used to refer to people with disabilities do change quite frequently. I find it is often older people who use the terms that they grew up with, often unaware that they are offensive. People are not 'bigoted' just because they use an outdated term without understanding it's offensiveness. It's often the same case with words which describe race.

Haven't read the whole thread, although it seems to have descended into a debate about terminology.

FWIW, there is a Frankie & Benny's restaurant near where I live, where a young woman with learning difficulties works. She is working and earning a living, as she is fully entitled to do. But it does cause some difficulties. For example, whenever there are children in the restaurant, she just won't leave them alone, gets right in their faces etc, and often reduces them to tears. It has happened to me with my DS, and also with my 2 nephews. If asked to stop, she just stares at you, laughs, and carries on regardless. At leaving time, she will take the child a balloon, ask if they would like it, and then when they reach out she will snatch it away again, and again this continues until there are tears. It's a very difficult situation, and I have sympathy with the OP's original point. I have stopped going there because whilst I fully support the right of the woman to work, her behaviour does verge upon harrassment, and complaining results in people treating you like a prejudiced, intolerant bigot, when actually if she didn't clearly have learning difficulties it just wouldn't be tolerated.

I never said that it wasnt offensive. I said that I do not think it is a term that is universally known by everyone to be offensive (such as queer, paki or spastic). And the name of the charity does not help that. However, I do take the point that it is not that easy to just change the name, particualrly in the current climate.

Kladdkaka thank you for posting that , we can now just c &p that everytime some one uses Mencap as their excuse

BamBam21 it think that is just inclusion gone mad.
the young lady is upsetting children and causing problems, it might not be her fault, but surely she is in the wrong job.
I don't believe in inclusion for inclusions sake, there will always be jobs that disabled people are not able to do, same as there is with nt people.

Exactly sevenfold. My DM has sight problems (she is on the blind register, although can see enough to get around) and I'm certainly glad that the days of people with any disabilities being confined to weaving baskets etc are firmly behind us, and support the right of anybody to work in an area in which they are capable and have the necessary skills. However, if somebody has problems in acting appropriately around other people/children etc, then a Front of House style job just isn't appropriate.

bAm

in that case the manger is not doing his Job at all and as young ady is working there he is directly resposibile and in that case .I would quitelt have a word with the manger

Op case wa differnet

Roller
I get the same thing when in my power chair but then i do drive it everywhere at top speed

The one that gets me is the oh I like one of them , which more often than not is an older person that maybe uses a sick but no major dicculties and one of these days im going to say well least you can stand to get on to the toilet ,

She quite possibly isn't earning a living bam- often those work placements are not paid - but the placement is meant to supervise (and will be funded for that). the level of supervision in the case you describe sounds completely inadequate.

I don't know saintly. It makes for a very awkward situation though. I realise that she isn't being deliberately intrusive, but the whole experience of being in the restaurant is made very difficult and stressful. You are right - the level of supervision given to her is woefully inadequate. The sad thing is that some twunts people might get quite shirty with her, despite her clearly having SN, which would no doubt dent her confidence big time. If her placement was adequately managed, it would be a great opportunity for her to build confidence and learn more social skills, I would have thought?

Yes - but this sorts of customer facing roles are difficult for people without ld's to deal with (ex Saturday job in Sainsbury's, ex waitress - the public are DIFFICULT at the best of times!) The amount of supervision needed woukd be enormous I would have thought and the placement sounds inappropriate - such a shame as with a suitable job or even role she could learn a lot and gain from the experience. It's the problem with how inclusive emoliyement is delivered now they've shut so many remploy places in the name of inclusion and the people who suffer and who lost supoort networks and decent educational experiences are those with the LD's. it's very sad.