to think 40k isn't *that* high a salary?

[HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer]

Someone I know is constantly boasting that their DH earns 40k per year. Every time I meet up with her (she is in a group of friends), she will drop it into the conversation at every available opportunity. If someone admires something she's wearing she will say something like "well it was from X shop but I can afford stuff like that as DH earns 40k a year". It's difficult to explain how she does it, but somehow she manages to mention it several times each time I've seen her, not just to me but to everyone.

Now I know 40k is a decent wage compared to some, but its not that good really is it? Certainly not a wage to boast and brag about. By the time they've paid their rent (it's 1k per month, she's told us all that several hundred times too), bills and other things I wouldn't think they're left with a huge amount.

I really couldn't give a monkeys what anyone else earns but I'm just surprised that she seems to think its so unusual and so worth bragging about.

talkin - brilliant, tactful solution.

Oh for god's sake, Jericho. I haven't actually said that to her have I? I did say to you several posts back I wasn't going to say anything for now.

No, I don't think boasting is ok. I detest boasting. But if someone must boast then at least have something wonderful to boast about. Otherwise it is tedious.

I suggested 'is that all' upthread because I'd say it. Just for your information I earn nowhere near 40K.

However I think that boasting about how much your husband earns is nasty. Very nasty. Especially if it's in response to someone admiring your outfit as mentioned in the OP.

Now I know 40k is a decent wage compared to some, but its not that good really is it? Certainly not a wage to boast and brag about.

What is not nasty about this statement? What EXACTLY did you mean when you said this?

Who cares if saying "Is that all?" is nasty, it sounds like this woman is almost inviting this kind of comment with her crass belching about her husband's wage. She deserves taking down a peg or 10.

To answer the OP's original question. To me, 40k really is not a lot.
No offence to people with less but, for us as a family we would be struggling.

flywiththecrows

I think the problem here is that high earners tend to have friends who are also high earners and they live in expensive districts where all their neighbours also earn the same amounts. They don't tend to frequent Lidl or Poundland and so there is a presumption that the majority of people in the UK live as they do and also think that £40k is peanuts.

It is an insult to say that £40k is nothing when you are speaking on a site where many posters struggle on benefits, or fight to get the funding that their children with SN need. There have been many threads about the benefits cuts and many examples of how posters struggle on a daily basis, so I don't think there can be any excuse of ignorance as to what the reality is.

For families like mine, earning that much will only ever be a dream because we don't have the qualifications or experience to get these high-flying jobs and count ourselves very lucky to be working at all, even if it is for less than half that amount.

Saying that the amount isn't much, just shows complete and utter ignorance of how the other half live, not to mention insensitivity.

doesnotgiveafig

By people like you, I meant people like you that are reading things into my posts that I didn't say. Good god, the term "professionally offended" was invented for posters like you wasn't it?

How dare you tell me to get a job. I have worked in the past, thank you very much, and I do work hard currently, raising my children. How am I being offensive?

applauds rhubarb

Zondra - you would be struggling on £40k? I hate to sound sarcastic but is that because you would have to cut back on private horse lessons? What? I mean how could anyone struggle with huge a huge amount coming in every year? By my reckoning that amount would cover a mortgage at £1k a month plus bills so what am I missing?

Now I know 40k is a decent wage compared to some, but its not that good really is it? Certainly not a wage to boast and brag about

This is how you are being offensive.

Oh doesnotgiveafig do get lost. Clearly you have an enormous chip on your shoulder and are getting your knickers into a knot about it all. I cannot see how the line from my OP you have quoted is offensive. I think you are just looking for things to be offended about and to take personally.

No, I know you haven't said it to her. And I do understand that someone who relentlessly boasts gets annoying. But I am really shocked at the idea that the right to boast is something you get by earning a lot. I find it really sad and, yes, quite a rude thing to say, whether to her or to us, really. It's a public forum and you did ask for opinions, and that's mine.

Oh well, if you take offence by something very minor and in jest said on a public forum, jericho it says more about you and your insecurities and inferiority about yourself than it does about me, I'm afraid.

Well said rhubarb

Oh, I am well aware I am insecure. Living on the minimum wage has that effect, you see.

IMO it is a bit silly to write a whole post about taking offense at someone boasting, but then have a go at anyone else who takes offense at ... more boasting.

hex You need to grow up. You are truly blinkered if you can't see how offensive that statement is.

If you don't want people to react to what you say and how you come across, don't post.

Hex, whilst I don't deny you the good fortune your family have worked for, I have to say that your quote IS offensive. Not because I am jealous, I've always told dd that we should rejoice in others' successes because it means that dreams are achievable, but because when families struggle on less than half that amount I feel that quote is like a slap in the face to them.

Where is the thanks on this thread from those high-earners? All I've heard is how they might struggle on £40k and how it's not really that much to earn. Which makes you wonder if they deserve it at all. I'm sure other families could make so much more of such an income, if only they had the chance.

Be thankful for what you have, count yourselves lucky and blessed and don't presume that what you have is less than anyone else. Because there are many more people below you and only a few above you.

Very well said rhubarb!

Agree rhubarb. But its not only about the people on benefits. The vast majority of people in the UK do not earn 40k or above. Some people honestly don't seem to understand what an average wage actually is in this country.

Oh and hex....you are making judgements about me based on some posting in a forum...

TheRhubarb- private horse lessons are not something I've ever paid for. However, the truth of the matter when examining MY life, TO ME, 40k just would not cut the mustard.
I'm sorry that offends but, it is MY truth.

I adore the indignation of these threads when money is ever discussed.
The professionally offended "outrage" is just badly concealed envy.

zondra of COURSE I am envious of high earners. I would LOVE to be on £40k and look forward to the day.

Doesnot: 'You can earn as much as you like, but remember for some of us £40k is a good wage. I appreciate for a much higher earner it isn't - but surely you can see we aren't all city workers and what have you so £40k is a lot to us?'

I am not saying that it is not a lot of money to a single mum or to the guy who empties my bins, or my son's teacher or ... or ... I'm just saying that it is not a large salary to me.

If that makes me insentive then please tell me how I can answer the OP's question without being insensitive?

Just found this link with average salaries by profession. I was quite surprised by some of them.

www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/news/article-2067258/Best-paid-jobs-2011-Tables-official-figures-UK-salaries.html

£40k would not cut the mustard with me either.

I can't afford mustard on my measly £25k